What it feels like to be one of the team

When I tell people I do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, they are usually surprised. I like this topic because I enjoy seeing people go, "Wait, really?!"

In a recent article, I wrote that I go to training five times a week, and someone commented with a "?!" to show their surprise, which made me happy too.

But today, I thought, "Ugh, I don't want to go." To be honest, those days happen. They come periodically. But I went anyway. I think the fact that I wrote with such confidence just a few days ago about going five times a week gave me about 30 percent of the push I needed.

Friday's class is called a Competition class, where the sparring time is longer than usual, just like in a real match. Usually, in a one-hour class, 40 minutes are spent learning techniques and 20 minutes are spent sparring with a focus on using those techniques. But on Fridays, the first 20 minutes are for practicing your own specialty moves, and the remaining 40 minutes are spent purely on sparring.

Until last month, there was a rare female member who went to the gym every day just like me, and I was able to pair up and spar with her since our body sizes were not that different. I learned an immense amount through practicing with her, as she had been doing Jiu-Jitsu longer than me and had more technique and stamina. It is no exaggeration to say that, other than from my instructor, I learned almost everything from her.

Recently, she suffered a fairly significant neck injury and has had to take some time off. There are a few other female members at the gym, but unfortunately, none of them have the free time to come every day or the mysterious burning passion for it.

Because of that, ever since she stopped coming to the gym, I have had no choice but to practice among the men.

So, who was there today? Excluding the instructor,
there were nine of us: eight men and me. Three of them are nearly two meters tall, and one of them weighs an estimated 150 kilograms. Two others have military experience and seem to have high survival skills in many ways, not just physical ability. There was one brown belt, one purple belt, and one blue belt. Me? A white belt, of course.

Looking at them briefly, I had a premonition that today would be a tough practice. No, I was certain of it.

But in all seriousness, practicing with the men has become a new turning point for me. What I have done up until now doesn't work as is. Some of the techniques I used on opponents of my own size are not suitable for opponents who are larger and stronger. Realizing this, I have recently started practicing with the intention of increasing my repertoire of fighting styles.

The instructor divided everyone into two groups based on body size, and we started sparring while rotating partners in a round-robin format.

My first opponent was David (pseudonym). A blue belt with three years of Jiu-Jitsu experience. A former soldier who was stationed at a base in Okinawa until recently. Apparently, he also did Judo when he was in Japan. He is extremely toned, but he is on the smaller side for an American, and he is the type who has become strong by honing his technique.

He just keeps throwing one technique after another. If I go into a defensive posture even for a second, it's hard to turn the tide, so I have no time to stop attacking. Attacking while defending. Even so, I can't match him in technique or strength, and I get pinned down quickly, and the pressure when he pins me is also intense. Once you are pinned down tightly, it is no easy feat to escape from there.

My other opponent was Andrew (pseudonym). A purple belt. Six years of Jiu-Jitsu experience. A tough guy who has recently been coming to the gym three times a day—morning, noon, and night. By the way, he is a lawyer, but I wonder if he does Jiu-Jitsu in between work or works in between Jiu-Jitsu. High achievers are amazing.

This Andrew, first of all, won't let me get a grip. When I go to take a grip, he slaps my hands away, and while I'm distracted, he hooks my ankle from the inside with his foot and simultaneously pushes my shoulder hard to knock me backward. It's such a rough push that if someone did it to me in daily life, it would immediately lead to a fight, so I was a bit surprised the first time it happened. But when he uses this technique, I get knocked over so easily that I can't help but laugh. He did it to me several times today, too.

Thinking, "Damn it," I immediately regained my posture, used my knees to pin down Andrew's knees, and tried to immobilize his upper body before pulling my legs out to pin him. But in a split second, he flipped me over, and I was almost choked out. There is no time to be intimidated. If I stop, the next move will come flying at me. I immediately got back up to move to the next action. But even for someone like me who is constantly getting beaten, about once in ten times, I can aim for some kind of technique. If I don't always look for an opening, I'll miss my chance.

What I mean to say is, these guys seem to have stopped going easy on me. I haven't been told that, but I know it from sparring. In the beginning, they would intentionally move like beginners to create chances for me to use techniques. Sometimes they would stop moving to give me advice, like "You should respond like this in this situation," so it felt like a lesson. But now I feel like I am fighting on the same playing field.

I thought this feeling was good. But at the same time, I wondered, what is this feeling? I thought about it for a moment and understood that it was this.

I have become one of their team.

Doesn't this happen when learning a foreign language, too? As long as they are speaking slowly to you, you are still being treated as a guest. Even if they say, "Your English is good," they are still going easy on you. But when they ask, "Where did you learn Japanese?" that's the real deal.When you are asked that, you have already become one of them. It is proof that you have crossed over from this side to that side.

What I am talking about now is not how good I am at Jiu-Jitsu, but about attitude and passion. Sorry if the analogy is hard to understand.

I walked home thinking only about how this is what it feels like to become friends. I managed to go to the gym five times this week as well. The end.