The Shocking Thing My Son Said to Me

Children sometimes hit you with harsh words.

Words that are so intense they knock a parent down in one blow. Because they are so direct and honest, they hit you right in the chest.

The other day, my first-grade son said to me,

“Mom, you should start over from kindergarten.”

That is what he said.

Let me explain what happened.

After dinner, I was sitting next to my son helping him with his homework from his local school. We were working on one of the worksheets he brings home every week, reading through the questions together to confirm them.

I didn't know the meaning of the word "deciduous" that appeared in the text, so I asked my son, "What does that mean?"

My son said, "Hmm," and then explained in English,

“It means when the leaves fall off the trees in winter.”

He explained it to me in English.

As I nodded and said, "Oh, you mean deciduous trees," my son continued calmly,

“This is a word you learn in kindergarten. Mom, you should start over from kindergarten.”

He didn't giggle, he didn't give me a mischievous smirk; he was completely serious. I was shaken by the fact that he really meant it.

However, it wouldn't be right to lash out in anger (he is only six), and it also wouldn't be right to ramble on with an explanation like, "No, it's not fair at all to say I should start over from kindergarten just because of one word. Mom has studied English hard all this time and knows plenty of other words..." Besides, that would be incredibly uncool.

So I replied,

“Well, do you know what that is in Japanese?”

I said it firmly. My son looked surprised and went silent.

“Mom understands what 'deciduous' means, too. I just didn't know that was the word for it in English.”

My son nodded and didn't say anything else. It seemed he realized something in his own way.

When I looked it up later, one Japanese website stated that this word is at a "university level or higher, for those preparing to pass the Eiken Grade Pre-1 level or above." It's terrifying; native speakers learn this at age six (well, they can hear and understand it, though I doubt many can write it, but still).

That reminded me, the first baptism I received from my son was "carnivore". My son, who loved dinosaurs, already knew and used this word at age three. Related to that, he also knew "herbivore" (plant-eater) and "Omnivore" (all-eater).

I may have encountered these words somewhere in my previous English studies, like in reading comprehension passages or vocabulary lists. But they only became part of my own vocabulary through conversations with my three-year-old son.

Another example. When my son was in kindergarten, I participated in class as a parent volunteer. That day was for a simple experiment, and the teacher was having the children predict what would happen next. At that time, the word the teacher used was "hypothesis". This word, which is considered university-level in Japan, is learned by native speakers at age five.

Another thing that impressed me about native speakers was that they properly understand the lyrics of songs. Even if you can understand normal English conversation or the news, understanding English lyrics is a different matter and has a high level of difficulty. While some words may enter your ears, to understand the entire phrase or the whole song, you have to focus your nerves on listening, and even when you do focus, there are many times you still don't understand. I cannot understand them by just listening casually.

However, it seems to enter children's ears naturally and easily, and they can sing along after hearing it just a few times. It was like that from when they were two or three years old, and I remember being surprised and thinking, 'Wow!'

However, having a child who is a native English speaker can sometimes feel exhausting.

When I was a child, I held a certain kind of respect for my parents (or adults in general), thinking they knew everything. But, perhaps, my son doesn't hold that kind of feeling toward me. Or maybe he separates me into a Japanese version and an English version, thinking that the Japanese version of me knows many things, but the English version of me doesn't.

Start over from kindergarten, huh... With a sigh, I'm still a little hung up on it.