The words my husband said that I dislike.

Hello~^^☆

It's miyabi^ ^

Today, I'd like to talk about...

something my husband said to our child,
words that made me think, "Why would you say that?"
I'd like to talk about those words.

At the very least,
I really dislike these words...

They bother me somehow.
(They leave me feeling uneasy)

Well, as for what those words are...

"You're just going to quit anyway, aren't you?"

That's it( ｀ー´)ノ

Yes.
I don't even feel good just writing that down.

If you say things like that,
it will kill a child's motivation.

…But while raising children,
I think there are quite a few times
when you want to say these words.

・When a child throws a tantrum to get something but gets bored of it immediately
・When they say they want to start a hobby but then say it's not for them
・When they say they'll clean their room if they can get a cat, but then don't do it

…etc

Since things like this happen all the time,
I understand the urge to say it.

…But!

They are still in the growth stage.
They might have lost interest for now,
but they might remember it again somewhere down the line.

Allowing them to experience failure.
I think this is truly important during childhood.

That experience
should be useful for other things as well.
Nothing is ever a waste.

I am quite prone to getting bored easily, but
precisely because I have a history of getting bored of various things,

now,
I can say, "This is just my personality.
This other way seems better."

and I pride myself on being able to
make good decisions for myself.

It is a waste to give up
when you want to do something.

The experience of failing is also important.
There should be much to learn from it.

But when you become an adult,
you might fail...
the eyes of those around you...

with various emotions like these,
I think that first step can sometimes feel heavy.

Even though you want to try, you might say,
"I'm not good enough anyway," or
"I'm raising children," or
"My family is against it," or
"I'm too busy."

...There are endless reasons not to do something, aren't there?

At times like that, I think of these:

"It would be a total waste not to do it."
"I'll surely regret it before I die."
"If I try it and it's not for me, I can just adjust my course."
"It's definitely better to try it and think, 'Well, I guess that wasn't it,' than not to do it at all."
"That experience won't be wasted."
"I can just use it for the next thing."
"I'm the one who decides if it's a failure."

Those are the words that
come to my mind.

A few years ago,
I went to get my motorcycle license,

and at that time, these words came to my mind.
(My husband reacted by saying, 'At your age?', but...)

As a result, getting my motorcycle license
was a huge success (*´ω｀)

First of all, by fulfilling a long-held wish,
one source of dissatisfaction disappeared.

Also, if I had waited any longer,
it might have been physically impossible.

The fact that I now have the option
"to ride my bike and go out"
at any time

is a pretty
big change for me.

And recently, I started an online business.
This was also a huge success.

Even at this time, those words were
in my head...

"It would be a total waste if you don't do it."
"You'll surely regret it before you die."
"If you try it and it's not for you, you can just adjust your course."
"It's definitely better to try it and think, 'Well, I guess that wasn't it,' than to not do it at all."
"That experience won't go to waste."
"You can just use it for the next thing."
"You decide for yourself whether it's a failure."

In fact, because of raising children and housework,
I couldn't continue working full-time as I had before,
so I had my working hours reduced the other day.

And, my salary will go down, of course, but...
how much it has helped me
that I've been doing an online business...

I'm really glad I took the initiative.

Starting something new
after becoming an adult

is different from when you were a child,
and there may be various circumstances and emotions involved.

Unlike when you were a child,
you might feel embarrassed, worry about what others think,
or have feelings of 'what if I fail?'

But even if you do fail,
it might only be a 'failure' if you give up there.

But if it leads to the next step from there,
you can turn it into a 'good result' and it becomes a success.

When I went to get my motorcycle license,
I fell hard, haha.
A grown adult, haha.

Falling after becoming an adult
was tough both mentally and physically.
(It's embarrassing, and healing takes longer...)

But from there,
'I fell because it happened like that before, so this posture is dangerous now'
or
'There's a bump there and I probably won't be able to reach the ground with my feet, so I'll stop before it'
and so on...

I was learning properly.

Nothing is a waste of time.
I often say this to my children too:
"Why don't you just try it?"
You never know until you try anything.

"Whether it lasts or not"
is just a part of the result.

What you were able to learn from that experience.
I believe this is what is important.

I want to be able to
casually say "Why don't you try it?"
to my children's desire to try something.
I want to be able to say that.

And even if it doesn't go well,
I want to be able to think about "So, what shall we do now?"
together with them.

I want to be that kind of presence.^^

See you again~