What it means for me, living with congenital glaucoma, to become a mother
When I found out I was pregnant, I immediately visited my regular ophthalmologist.
This was because my obstetrician told me that the eye drops I had been using for a long time might affect the fetus.
I have "congenital glaucoma."
I have had an eye condition since birth and have a visual impairment.
Throughout my life, I have struggled a lot with my eyes, but I have always dealt with it as "my own problem."
However, that day, a single word from the doctor completely changed that mindset.
"Since you are the mother, there is a 50% chance it will be passed on to your child."
It was said in a matter-of-fact tone.
The elderly doctor who has been treating me for the 30 years since I was born.
I think it was just a standard explanation for him.
But my head was instantly filled with anxiety.
"What if my child is born with the same condition?"
"What kind of scenery will they see, what will they struggle with, and what kind of thoughts will they have in the future?"
I might be making my own child walk the same path I have walked.
I managed to stay calm at the time by saying "I see," but when I was alone, I couldn't stop the tears.
I often ask my mother about the time I was born.
"You were born with blue eyes~"
I have lived my life normally while managing my condition well.
But as an adult, I realize that this is thanks to my mother, my family, and the people around me.
However, the moment I was told it "might be hereditary" for my child, perhaps it was the first time I felt "scared" of my own eye condition.
But now, I feel a little differently.
Even if my child is born with the same condition, I am sure I will be okay.
Because I have actually seen the world with these eyes.
Because I see less than others, there are things I have been able to feel that others cannot.
I took a detour, but I have been able to walk this far at my own pace.
That is why I believe that my child will also be able to find their own world.
In this blog, I intend to write little by little about how I have faced my "eye condition."
To those who have glaucoma, those whose children have glaucoma, and those who feel anxious about their eyes.
Or to everyone who has ever felt anxious about the word "hereditary."
I would be happy if this could lighten your heart even a little or provide some hints.
Thank you for reading.