How to Build Good Relationships Through Effective Consultation

Valuing what happens after a consultation makes it easier to build good relationships.
This is because the person who was consulted is curious about what happened afterward. Letting them know about the progress or results will put them at ease. And, they will become willing to listen to your next consultation as well.

When you enter the workforce, you are told:
"Tell me immediately if anything happens."
"Let me know as soon as something is decided."
"What are you worrying about? Tell me sooner."

To put it in more standard terms, you are told:
"Report any problems as soon as they occur."
"Please communicate decisions immediately."
"Don't keep your worries to yourself; consult someone right away."

This is what is known as 'Ho-Ren-So' (reporting, communicating, and consulting).

When I entered the workforce, I was taught that it is important to properly report, communicate, and consult.

Hearing about Ho-Ren-So, I told myself:
First and foremost, it's 'reporting'.
Report first, report first,
I kept telling myself that.

However, I was often scolded after reporting. Why?

My boss would often say,
"Why didn't you report this sooner!"

In my mind, I thought it was: 'Report' first when a problem occurs,
then 'communicate' even if I don't know what to do,
and finally 'consult'.

Despite that, I wondered why I was always getting scolded.

I thought that if I reported a problem and consulted, I would be taught a solution, but it seems that was wrong. Time passed without me ever understanding what was wrong.

Do you know what was strange about it?
If you don't know, just like I didn't, please read on.

After a junior colleague joined my workplace, I started being consulted more often.
Well, not 'more often'. I wasn't consulted at all when I was a newcomer.
I should say that being consulted began once I had a junior colleague.

There is something I realized only after I became the one being consulted.
When I am consulted, I become very curious about what happens next.
"Did it go well?"
"Did they fail?"
I end up worrying about things like that.

A few days later, I heard through the grapevine that the junior colleague had successfully reached a deal.

I thought, 'Good, it went well,' but for some reason, I didn't feel very good about it.

Once you have subordinates, you get consulted daily. When you receive a consultation, you naturally become curious about what happens afterward. If they don't let you know what happened, you start to get frustrated.

And then, I understood.

Ho-Ren-So wasn't about the order.

I

always thought it was 1. Report, 2. Contact, 3. Consult.

However, when I found myself in the position of being the one consulted, I realized it was the exact opposite.

Consult before you start anything

Let's look at it from the perspective of the person seeking advice. You consult when you want to ask if what you are thinking is correct, check if you might be doing something you shouldn't, or ask about things you couldn't resolve on your own, such as whether there are any precedents.

For example, in sales, you might consult on how to approach a new business negotiation.

Then, you take the answer you received and move forward. If the person you consulted gives good advice, you get a good answer, so you thank them and leave.

You use what you gained from the consultation to decide what to do next. And when that is decided, this is when you 'contact' the person you consulted with your next plans. You let them know what you are planning to do, even though you haven't done it yet.

For example, in sales, you might say, 'I've decided to visit the client this weekend. I'll have this and that prepared by then.' You tell them what you've decided in advance.

Then, you 'report' what happened as a result of putting it into practice. Whether the result is good or bad, the fact that you took action is important, and the facts of what happened as a result are important. You report this to the person you consulted.

For example, in sales, you report the outcome of the negotiation. You talk about the results of your actions, such as whether what you prepared was sufficient and whether those materials were useful.

From the perspective of the person who was consulted, when they are 'consulted,' receive a 'contact,' and then hear a 'report,' they can understand the entire flow regardless of whether the result was good or bad, so they feel glad they provided the consultation.

And then, the next time you ask for advice, they start thinking about how they can give you an even better answer.

Once I understood this flow, I started consulting people all over the company. I made it a point to consult on things that seemed easy to figure out and on small matters.

I would thank the person who gave me advice politely, follow up with a contact,

and report the results.

When I did this, I was sometimes thanked in return, with people saying, 'You are always so thorough. Thank you.'

By continuing to do that, I gained more allies who would listen to my concerns when something came up.

I try to think of 'Ho-Ren-So' (Report, Communicate, Consult) as 'So-Ren-Ho' (Consult, Communicate, Report).

As an application of this,
if a problem occurs suddenly,
1. First, report.

Wait, I thought the order might be reversed, but

I report and immediately follow up with a consultation.
Then I communicate how to proceed and
report the results.
It is this repetition.

'Report' -> 'Consult' -> 'Communicate' -> 'Report'

It just ends up being the same thing after all.

One more thing,
when I consult with someone younger and properly communicate and report back, I have been able to build better relationships.
Many older people take it for granted that they should receive reports, but when you consult with someone younger and then communicate and report back, they are surprised. However, there is no such thing as being older or younger when it comes to consulting, and since they took the time to listen to me, I make sure to communicate and report back in the same way. Actually, I try to be even more polite with those younger than me.

The way to build good relationships by consulting effectively is

to carefully 'communicate' and 'report' after 'consulting'

was the answer.

Try consulting someone about a small matter.
You will surely become closer.