Things I kept in mind when thinking about caregiving systems
The other day, I wrote an article stating that what you really need to do in caregiving is to build a sustainable caregiving system. But how are we, as non-professionals in caregiving, supposed to think about such a system?
However, as non-professionals in caregiving, how exactly should we go about thinking of a caregiving system?
Today, I would like to share the things I, a caregiving amateur, kept in mind when thinking about our caregiving system.
1. Respected my parents' wishes
When considering the caregiving system, I talked with my parents a lot.
What kind of life do they want to lead in the future?
Do they want to enter a facility, or do they want to continue living at home?
What kind of food do they want to eat?
By listening to my parents one by one about things like these, I set up the caregiving system in a way that respected their wishes as much as possible.
Even if an elderly person in need of care has diminished judgment, it is still your important job to thoroughly listen to the 'lifestyle they desire' and 'what they want to do in the rest of their lives,' and strive to make that a reality.
2. Made sure they did what they could do for themselves
Instead of having the home helper do everything, I asked them to support my parents so they could do what they were capable of doing themselves.
Home helpers are professionals at housework. They can whip up delicious meals in no time and efficiently clean and do laundry in a flash. It is probably more efficient to have the helper do everything.
But that is not the right approach.
If you have the helper do everything, it eventually becomes the norm, they stop trying to move on their own, and they gradually lose the ability to do things they could once do.
It is important to have your parents do as much as they can for themselves. I recommend a stance where the helper supports your parents in doing what they can do themselves.
My parents were terrible at housework even before they needed care, and my father in particular was someone who did almost no housework at all.
On the first day of home care, seeing my parents cleaning together with a floor wiper and vacuum cleaner while being helped by the home helper, I was deeply moved.
I truly thought, 'I never imagined a day like this would come...' Just for that alone, it was worth having the home helper come.
3. Maintained close communication with the care manager
Our parents' care manager is a super talented person who is always attentive to our parents' situation, formulates the best care plan, and manages the home helpers to keep the care running smoothly.
Their communication skills are also outstanding, and they have managed to get into the good graces of my difficult parents and capture their hearts. Thanks to that, my parents are always happy to talk with the care manager.
That said, while the care manager talks to my parents from their professional standpoint, there are things that only I, as their actual child, can do.
My father is stubborn and often doesn't listen even when the care manager speaks to him, but there have been times when I was able to convince him by talking to him myself.
Observe your parents while being conscious of what only you can do, and if you find any troubles or problems, consult the care manager immediately and solve them together. That is essential for creating a good caregiving system.
4. Conclusion
Here is a summary of today's points.
Respecting your parents' wishes is the most important thing when building a caregiving system
Care managers have things only they can do, and there are things that only you can do
Communication with your care manager is extremely important for running caregiving smoothly
It is difficult to create the best caregiving system from the very beginning.
However, by listening carefully to your parents' wishes and solving problems one by one to realize them, you will surely be able to create a caregiving system in the form that you and your parents desire.
I hope my talk today has been at least a little helpful.