Caregiving Comes Suddenly
The Image of Caregiving
When you hear the word "caregiving," what kind of image comes to mind?
For many people, it's something like:
I'd rather not have anything to do with it for the rest of my life
I often hear on TV that caregiving is tough, but it has nothing to do with me
If it ever becomes necessary, I'll just look into it and deal with it then
I have so many other things to do, I don't have time to go out of my way to learn about caregiving
It's the kind of thing where you think, Maybe a day will come when I have no choice but to face caregiving, but well, I'm not in trouble right now, so I'd rather live my life without getting involved in it
I was the same way.
But caregiving is something that comes suddenly one day.
My Encounter with Caregiving
I am a salaryman in my 40s living with my wife and two daughters. Like many people of my generation, this is a time when I'm becoming busy at work with more responsible tasks, and at home, I lead a hectic daily life playing with my children and doing chores.
Since both of my parents have had underlying health issues from the start, I had a vague idea that I would eventually have to take care of them. But I thought, "Well, it won't happen that soon. I'll have to think about it eventually, but I don't have to do anything right now."
However, that was not the case.
One day, when I visited my parents' house for the first time in a while, my father had collapsed. I could tell at a glance that he wasn't just sleeping. This was clearly a serious situation.
Furthermore, next to him, my mother had also become gaunt and was unable to move. This was also clearly a serious situation.
Thinking back on it now, I should have called an ambulance immediately, but I wasn't used to this kind of situation and didn't know what to do. I looked it up on my smartphone and realized it would be best to call an ambulance, so I did.
Both my parents were then taken by ambulance and admitted to the hospital for emergency care.
That was the beginning of my "caregiving."
How Does Caregiving Begin?
Of course, not everyone with elderly parents ends up in this situation. In fact, the majority of people probably don't. However, having your parents' caregiving start suddenly is by no means a rare case.
Cases like mine, where a parent suddenly falls ill and requires care
Cases where a parent you thought was healthy can no longer communicate, and care becomes necessary
Cases where a parent is injured in an accident or similar event and becomes immobile, requiring care
The list goes on and on, but what they all have in common is that
"caregiving comes suddenly."
I don't think there is ever a case where you know in advance that caregiving will start on a specific day.
In almost every case, something unexpected happens, and caregiving—something you never even thought about—is suddenly thrust upon you.
What I want to convey in this note
In this note, I want to share what I have learned firsthand from my own caregiving experience with many people,
Those who, like me, have suddenly started caregiving and are at a loss
Those who are tired from long-term caregiving and no longer know what to do
Those who are struggling to balance caregiving and work and are considering leaving their jobs to provide care
and I hope to provide information that will be of some help to them.
Caregiving is hard.
However, by preparing in advance, you can reduce that hardship by a fraction.
And by preparation, I don't mean you need to spend a lot of time on it.
What caregiving is like
What to do first when care becomes necessary
Is there anything I can do now?
Knowing these things and just being mentally prepared is enough.
In a book I read, there was a phrase:
"Caregiving is the creation of moments where you can feel glad to be alive."
I think that is a profound truth.
I repeat, caregiving is hard.
There are many times when things don't go as planned and you face hardships.
But when you actually do it, it's not all bad.
There are positive aspects for yourself, and you can also repay the parents who raised you.
While keeping the hardships of caregiving to a minimum,
I want to share information that will help you enjoy caregiving and live your life happily.