One and a half months since starting online English conversation

“30-day free trial campaign until May 30th!”
“……”
“Is it today?…”
I finally got off my butt.
It was a friend's recommendation.
15 minutes before the deadline,
I signed up for an online English conversation service called “kimini”
around 11:45 PM on May 30th.
It's been about a month and a half since I started the next day.
I've passed the free period, paid the fees, and I'm still continuing it almost every day.

Total beginner

When you search for things like “online English conversation,” “experience,” and “continuing,”
many of the blogs that pop up
claim to be for total beginners but aren't really beginners at all.
(In fact, many of them sound like they're just showing off.)

I've been bad at English since I was in junior high school.
I completely fell behind in high school,
and I had a housewife who lived in the neighborhood and taught English conversation
teach me one-on-one using things like Peter Rabbit picture books
to learn relative pronouns and the present perfect tense, and somehow
I managed to scrape by with a “3” on my 5-point scale report card, feeling relieved.
That was the level of English proficiency I had when I finished my student days (a long, long time ago).

That's exactly why I have such a huge longing for English, and although I occasionally try to study it on my own
by looking things up online, I always give up after three days.

However, thinking about how I want to work with people overseas as an illustrator!
or wondering if I can really live in Japan forever,
I deeply felt that English was absolutely necessary.
(By the way, my husband has experience studying abroad in France,
and he can speak French and English at a level where he doesn't have any trouble in daily life,
like watching the news or dramas in English.
Sometimes he's so smug it's annoying.)

Since kimini English conversation says you can review from the first year of junior high,
I thought, “Maybe that's good,” and timidly,
while splashing myself with the “free” hot water,
I quietly dipped my feet into the bathtub of online lessons.

The first time

I timidly made a reservation for May 31st.
My first online English conversation lesson.
In the case of kimini, the teachers are Filipino.
Various courses are available,
and the class proceeds according to the textbook. Of course, I chose
“Comprehensive Learning 1,” which is the very beginning of the first year of junior high,
the absolute basics.

The teacher spoke extremely slowly and was kind,
and even though the content was just “nice to meet you,”
the words that came out right after it ended were

Tired
Tired
I'm sooooo tired

that was it.

Extreme nervousness, and even though there were parts where I didn't understand what was being said,
I couldn't even ask them to repeat it,
I was just frustrated, saying “uh, um.” That was it.

Gradually getting used to it

Even so, the content was at the “this is a pen” level that even I could do,
so it was easy of the easiest,
and as I repeated the lessons every day,
saying “next lesson, next lesson,”

I realized that since I'm at home every day and only talk to my husband,
working completely from home as an illustrator,
and although things have gotten a bit more relaxed lately,
I only meet friends two or three times a month,
the simple act of talking to people is a stress reliever for me.

I never thought something like this would happen with online English conversation.

And regardless of English, I also discovered that you can click or not click with a teacher.
That's only natural. We're human, after all.

My goal at the beginning was
not to just laugh and brush it off when the teacher said something I didn't understand,
but to ask them to repeat it.
And I started writing down the words they said in a notebook.

And after about a month and a half

Since it's only been a month and a half,
it's only natural that I can only respond with “ok,” “I see,” or “none so far,”
but even so, my image of English has started to change.

It's like I've started to understand where I used to stumble in the past.

In the case of kimini English conversation,
there is preparation and review, and after the lesson ends,
there is a simple test attached.
You don't have to do it, but
I do it every time just in case,
and it quietly includes a lot of things beyond what I'm learning in the lesson.
Things like comparative forms and relative pronouns
are included.
My biggest enemies are relative pronouns and the passive voice, but

a long, long time ago, when I was studying English at school,
long long time ago…

I was studying English by constantly thinking about what the verb is, what the subject is,
whether it's SVOO or SVOC,
and where this comparative is modifying,
and how the sentence is constructed,
so I would get lost in the English every single time,
my head would explode, go blank,
and I would burn out in the corner of the ring,
but oh, people who use English obviously

understand it in the order of the words,
and if you just read it straight in word order, you can understand the sentence, right?
You can understand it, right?
You can understand it, right?

I've started to feel that way.

English isn't just knowledge,
it's a language to be used, something for communication, right?
I realized that, which is truly the very first step.

Right now, it feels like I'm digging up
the English knowledge that had become ancient tombs and fossils deep in the back of my mind,
blowing on it,
and brushing off the sand.

Even so, I also feel the value of the knowledge I had in the past.

If the teacher speaks gently and slowly,
I've become able to understand almost everything they say.
I'm happy. Even though my replies are still broken!

In addition to online English conversation,
since I've started to enjoy English,
I'm also doing shadowing on YouTube on my own.

Also, I like cycle road racing,
and since it's currently the Tour de France period,
I'm desperately trying to listen to the athletes' English,
so I'm even straining my ears to listen to interviews.

I also read easy-of-the-easiest English books before going to bed.

When watching cycle road racing,
it's a daily occurrence for athletes from various countries
to communicate using English, which is not their native language,
so that's also stimulating.
If things go poorly, it's common for athletes to speak
their native language, English, and French.
It's amazing.

Also, for the first time in my life, I've come to like
people called YouTubers.
It's "Kevin's English Room."
The comedy skits are simply funny, and
the conversations where they delve into language
are often intellectual and hit home deep down,
so I'm grateful for them.

For now, I'll do my best with the goal of continuing for half a year.
I'll finish the first-year junior high course in about two more sessions,
so next is the second year.
I hope I can continue at a relaxed, steady pace.