Short-Short: 'Being Yourself' 1

You haven't been yourself lately, you know? Are you feeling down? Hmm? What happened to all the jokes and the smiles? It's showing in your sales figures, too. If you're worried about something, let's talk it out and clear your head.

My boss approached me because I've been missing the sales targets I used to hit, and since a subordinate's performance affects the boss's own evaluation, they were concerned.

No, I'm fine. I will definitely hit my targets this month.

I see. Well then, summarize the process for how you'll achieve them and submit it to me by tomorrow. Any format is fine.

Understood. I will submit it by tomorrow.

Having hit my targets for three years in a row, I generally know what is required to succeed. Summarizing the process is a piece of cake.

The problem lies elsewhere. Should I call them a great boss? They didn't throw me a high outside curveball; they threw a fastball right down the middle of my heart.

*

LOL, you're such a carrier pigeon, senior!

My stomach hurts from laughing so hard lol

Classic! You're on fire today too!

I just tweeted what I was thinking, but these are the kinds of replies I'm getting again today.

I'll keep up the good work tomorrow too.

When I replied with that, I got a ton of likes.

To some strangers out there, it seems I'm still my usual self today, with no worries in sight.

Maybe this is fine.

*

Have you changed since back then? I feel like you're different from the image I have of you. Were you always that active? I thought back then, even when everyone else was rowdy, you never tried to join in on anything.

When I posted a group photo on Instagram that I took while out with company colleagues on my day off, a classmate from high school left a comment.

"Huh? Was that so? I've kind of forgotten. It's like this!"

I replied to the comment, trying to play it off.

"Was it? Well, whatever. It's just good to see you're doing well!"

It seemed like it came as more of a shock to her than I had expected.

Perhaps she thought that even more so because my company colleagues clearly had a trendy, outgoing vibe.

I think she was right about how I was back then. I was the type who watched the lively, rowdy groups from afar.

Who am I now?

*

"Hello? What's wrong? It's been a while. I didn't reach out because I thought you might be busy, but even so, you haven't contacted me at all lately. Are you eating properly? Do you have a lot of company drinking parties? Are you getting enough rest? What have you been doing lately? Anything fun happen? Are you having any trouble?"

When I finally called after a long time, my mother was in this mode, firing questions at me as if she intended to fill in all the time we'd been apart.

"Ah, sorry! I haven't been able to call at all. It's been a while! I'm eating properly and doing just fine!"

Matching my mother's energy, I replied with equal intensity.

"Well, that's good then. Even if you're busy, make sure you eat properly! By the way, isn't there something you're worried about? Go ahead and tell me."

Since it had been a while since I'd reached out, it was only natural that she'd sense something, but she asked before I could even bring it up.

"Well, you know, it's just... I've been wondering what it means to be myself. I'm wondering what kind of version of me is truly 'me.'"

"Being yourself? Did someone tell you that you weren't acting like yourself? You don't need to worry about things like that! There is certainly a version of 'you' that I see, but that's just you from my perspective."

Naturally, there is also the 'you-ness' that others see when they look at you. There are as many ideal versions of 'you' that people expect as there are people you interact with.

If you worried about every single one, there would be no end to it. 'Being yourself' is just about living honestly as you are in each moment. So, you don't need to worry about it!

As expected of someone who works as a school teacher, her words were persuasive.

I see, so 'living honestly as yourself' is what 'being yourself' means. The 'you-ness' that others talk about is just the ideal image they hold of me.

Oh, thank you. I see, I should just live honestly. I had lost track of which version was the real me, but I understand now after hearing what you said.

That's right! Being happy, getting excited, feeling sad, feeling down... oh, that's the same thing. It's okay to have many different sides. They are all you.

Thanks for everything. I feel like I can do my best starting tomorrow! I'll call you again if anything comes up.

Call me even if nothing comes up! Well then, see you later.

It's not that I don't have the desire to become everyone's ideal version of me, but if I tried to cater to all of them, I feel like I would stop being myself.

I will be honest with myself. I will live honestly. Like me.

*

Hey! Did you finish yesterday's homework? Show me your process!

Here it is! By the way, senior, since we've been together for four years now, I'll speak freely: if all you're going to do is look at my process and pass it on to the manager, I'm going to call you 'Carrier Pigeon Senior.' I can do most things on my own, but if you're going to be my boss, I want you to give me some advice!

You... it's like you to be able to joke around again, but 'Carrier Pigeon Senior'...? Don't go saying that to others! I'll take proper care of you from now on, so we're definitely hitting our target this month!

I haven't called you 'Carrier Pigeon Senior' in front of 'people from the company,' so I think it's fine.

Yes! I won't tell anyone else! I'll do my best! I look forward to working with you again this month!

[End]

■ Afterword

I didn't have a habit of writing short-shorts, but the other day, I boasted, 'I'm starting a daily theme note,' and decided that 'Sundays are for short-shorts,' so...

I scoured books on how to write them and gave it a try.

Having tried it, the only word to describe it is 'difficult'.

Structure, readability, pacing... there are so many things to think about.

Sorry for the rushed work...

I will continue to study.

I'll do my best this week so I can update again next Sunday!

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