Short Story: Catchphrase Zoo

* This article contains some product introductions, but you don't have to buy anything!
The article is completely free, so I hope you enjoy it just for that!

Hello. I am Fukutsu no Kussou.
This time, I have gathered all the animals that have been victims of arbitrary catchphrases so far. Including several new works, I have put my best effort into finishing this in a novel-like style. Please, enjoy it at your leisure!!
* I might add more if I come up with new ones.

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"Naoto, shall we go to the zoo today?"
My heart was pierced by this surprise attack from my father.

My father is always busy with work and doesn't take me out to play much. Even today, I was planning to build a plastic penguin model silently by myself at home.
Yes, I love animals.

"I want to go!"
I couldn't let this chance slip by. Maybe it's Ueno Zoo, which I've wanted to visit for a long time.

"Today, let's go to the Nana-me Ueno Zoo."
I was completely blindsided from an unexpected angle.

"......Na......name?"

Father laughs, "Ha ha," and for some reason, wears a smug expression.
"It's a zoo that prides itself on having catchphrases that strike at animals from an unexpected angle. Naoto, you like that kind of thing, right?"

I was the one who was just struck from an unexpected angle, but well, I'll let it slide. It's not a serious enough injury to keep me from standing. Honestly, it's a shame it wasn't Ueno, but in the end, a zoo is a zoo. Besides, catchphrases sound interesting, don't they?

"Yeah... sounds... fun, doesn't it?"
I managed to reply, and Father laughed, "Ha ha."

When we arrived, I was relieved to find the atmosphere surprisingly fun. I was worried it might be a place where only the adults wore cynical smiles, but the children are also wearing cynical smiles.
According to the guide map, there are three zones: East Garden, West Garden, and South Garden. Where did the North Garden go? Is it lost?

"Naoto, where should we go first?"
While I was thinking about unimportant things, Father urged me on.

"Um, it looks like there are Australian animals in this zone called the South Garden. I want to go there!"
I had just learned about Australia at school and was interested. I decided to head to the South Garden first. I wonder if there are real kangaroos or real koalas. My heart is pounding.

More than Japan, less than Australia...!

I never expected the zones to have catchphrases too... Not bad, Nana-me Ueno Zoo! You're blowing my mind from the start.

"A copy like more than friends, less than lovers. I see. It's catchier than just saying almost Australia."
Father started analyzing it. I replied with a "Huh." I want to see the animals.

"Oh, Naoto, look, there's a kangaroo over there!"
"Eh! Where, where?"

There it was. A socially conscious kangaroo.

“So it’s a style that cuts into society, huh? With plastic bags now costing money, the number of people using their own bags is increasing. Maybe something like “The aftermath of the reusable bag crowd” would work.”
My father wasn't satisfied with just commentary and started doing his “If it were me...” routine. I just responded with a “Hmm.” More importantly, the way the kangaroo walks is super cute.

“Oh, Naoto, there’s a koala too!”
“What! A koala! Where, where?”

The 'March' in Koala's March isn't March!!

“The 'March' in Koala's March isn't March but a parade.”
My thoughts overlapped with my father's. I regret that. In the first place, I have doubts about whether it's okay to give the koala the title of winner of March, setting aside March Comes in Like a Lion.

Since we had seen all the animals in the South Garden, we decided to go to the East Garden next. Apparently, the East Garden has a collection of cute animals. I really want to be healed.

“Naoto, look. There’s a panda!”
A panda? As expected of Ueno—the Ueno Zoo! I can't believe there's a panda! How exciting.

There it was. Another socially conscious one.

“Color or black and white would be fine. No, wait a minute...”
My father is still in his style of coming up with new copy. By the way, I think “Clear as black and white! Panda” is good... Oh no. I’ve been contaminated by my father.

“Oh, look over there, a capybara. It’s cute soaking in the hot spring.”

“That’s the best answer for the Catchphrase Grand Prix for things you like more than three meals a day!”
My father started saying things that made no sense.
“Do you think so? As a catchphrase for a rice cooker, how about “I like freshly cooked 70-degree rice more than three meals a day”?”
When I countered with that off the top of my head, my father’s eyes went wide, and he laughed, “Ha ha!”

“As expected of my child.”
I received a dishonorable title. Cooling-off period, please.

“Naoto, there’s a mouse too! How cute!”
A mouse! This is something to look forward to! Mouse-type animals are generally cute. The cuteness of a hamster is sure to be loved by everyone!

The one that isn't loved by everyone!!

It’s tough for a liberal arts student. I’m really glad I learned factorization. To my friend who said, “Math is useless after you get out into society!” It might actually be useful. In an unexpected way, though.

My father, who is a liberal arts person through and through, stays silent. Don't mind it.

Since we've cleared the East Garden, we'll head to the West Garden last. It seems there are African animals there. Apparently, there's also a monkey mountain on the way. I love monkeys, too.

“Huh? Naoto, do you hear something...?”
Indeed. A screeching sound is echoing from the monkey mountain.

That's some intense self-assertion!!

“...A reinterpretation of that song, huh. I see.”
I don't think the copy is that deep. I want to head to the West Garden before the monkeys drain all my energy. Wait for me! Cool African animals!

We arrived at the West Garden. As expected, there are many huge animals, and I'm overwhelmed.

“Naoto, look. It's a giraffe.”

“The meaning of the proverb is going to change~”
That's true. If we were to make a proverb in the giraffe community, maybe it should be 'Eye drops from the first floor.' Realizing this much... is this what it is?
#WhatAreYouTalkingAbout.

“Naoto, look! The King is over there!”
The King?Speaking of the king of the animal kingdom,a lion?

What is it. A Daiso?

“That's clever~”
It is indeed clever, but why is there a Daiso in a zoo? Shouldn't the shop in a zoo be a souvenir shop?

“Oh, the one next to it is a souvenir shop.”
So there is one!

I make a mental retort and enter the shop.

You can buy it online tooapparently. This was definitelydrawn with great effortby a designer. The creator is probably thinking, “Please buy it and wear it as pajamas or something!”I want to buy it to support them.

I managed to buy plenty of souvenirs, and all things considered, today was fun.
But it's about time to head home.

"Please cast your vote for the popularity poll!"

The staff members are calling out at the exit. It seems they are holding a popularity poll as well. The voting method is "Let us know in the note comment section!" apparently. I don't quite get it, but when I get home,
I'd like to try commenting (voting) from my smartphone.

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[Postscript]
To my surprise, someone wrote an article introducing the T-shirts!
Yukinko-san! Thank you so much!