HSPs struggling with relationships should aim for moderate social interaction

I think many HSPs find socializing difficult.

I wonder if I said the right thing in response to the other person, or if I looked grumpy.
I reflect on whether my reactions were wrong, and I find myself trying to read their mind from the tone of their voice and the subtext of their words.

No matter how many books on communication skills I read, fundamentally, I still end up being overly considerate of others.

The characteristics of an HSP's empathy and the tendency to struggle with setting boundaries with others can sometimes become a burden.

Combined with introversion, I sometimes just want to retreat into my own shell.
Interacting with people easily becomes a strain.

As an HSP in my late 30s, I have two solutions.
1. Control the time you spend with others.
I try to keep the time I spend with friends and family outside of work short.
I discard the idea that being with people is the default and try to be with others only within a range that doesn't tire me out.
Chatting is fun if it's for a short time.
I avoid drinking parties that take up a lot of time and instead opt for quick tea or breakfast meetings.
This way, socializing doesn't become painful, and I can enjoy connecting with people, allowing me to spend time in a way that is comfortable for me.
HSPs can find relief by making being alone their baseline.

2. Take the other person's words at face value.
For example, if you invite someone to lunch and they say "Sure," take it as a simple yes.
Don't try to read into the context beyond their words, like wondering, "Are they actually annoyed?"
HSPs tend to read into the subtext of words, but since those predictions can be right or wrong, overthinking just drains your energy.
Only the other person knows their true feelings.
So, I just accept their words as they are and converse.
I do show consideration by saying things like, "Let me know if you're too busy to make it."
Even if I find myself reading into their words and thinking, "Are they actually thinking this?", it never goes beyond my own imagination.

By limiting the time I spend with people and learning to take their words at face value, I've felt much more at ease.

I'm no longer swayed by others, and I don't drain my energy.

There are times when relationships become bothersome and I want to push people away, but if I take the initiative and control my time and how I interact, I can avoid burnout.

After all, there are warm feelings that you only experience because you interact with others.
Let's cherish people while interacting in a way that is true to ourselves.

[Click here if you want to know more know-how to make life easier for HSPs ▼]

[Click here if you are an HSP feeling stressed ▼]

[Click here if you want to know about resolving work-related worries ▼]

[Click here if you want to know about HSP relationships ▼]