I Still Can Barely Do Housework and Childcare, My Wife Ends Up Doing It Alone [From 7th Month to 8th Month] [R]

Paternity leave for dads started in October 2022.
It can be taken for up to 4 weeks within 8 weeks after the child's birth.
Please think about when a dad returns to work from paternity leave.
The housework and childcare that were previously shared between mom and dad.
That will end up falling entirely on mom's shoulders.
(1)From birth to the 10th day
(2)From the 11th day to the 1st month
(3) From the 1st month to the 3rd month (Part 1) (Part 2) (4) From the 3rd month to the 5th month (
Part 1) (Part 2) (5)
From the 5th month to the 6th month (6) From the 6th month to the 7th month (

Baby Food Edition) (Mommy Brain Edition) (7) From the 7th month to the 8th month [<-- This article]

English conversation lessons

Around this time, I was often talking with my wife about what to do regarding our eldest son's English conversation lessons.

If we have him happily repeat what he is working on in his lessons at home, our eldest son can continue to enjoy them.

To do that, it is a good method for us as a couple to work on it together.

Giving our eldest son tasks and having him work on them alone does not seem to go well.

So, one day, I narrowed down the candidates from paid iPad apps to two and consulted my wife about which one to purchase.

However, my wife started to shed tears. It was clear they were not tears of joy.

They were tears shed when in a cornered atmosphere.

There was no sign of an outburst like before.

I carefully drew out my wife's feelings.

Then, I learned that my wife felt, "It is impossible to make him do anything more in our current life," and "I cannot be my eldest son's English conversation partner."

Reviewing our life for my return to work

This interaction with my wife led me to decide to review how we use our time.

These reviews were also necessary for me to return to work soon.

Housework and childcare had been done in a situation where both of us were always at home.

From now on, on weekdays, we have to switch to housework and childcare done by my wife alone from morning until night.

What will I do when I come home after finishing work on weekday nights?

What will I do before leaving the house in the morning before work?

We have to accomplish the housework and childcare that we were following up on together as a couple at separate times.

It would be nice if our eldest son and second son did the same things at the same time, but they are far apart in age, and their stages of growth are different.

Their wake-up times are different, and the food they eat is different.

Once I return to work, there will be more things my wife has to do alone.

I tried thinking with my wife about how our family's daily life should be.

Our family's day (after returning to work)

◆05:00
Me: Wake up, my breakfast, prepare water bottles for eldest and second son
Wife: Sleep with eldest and second son

◆05:30
Me: Get ready, housework like unfinished chores or taking out the trash
Wife: Breastfeed second son

◆06:00
Me: Prepare eldest son for nursery school
Wife: Put second son to sleep

◆06:15
Me: Leave for work (I am omitted until I return home)
Wife: Put second son to sleep

◆06:30
Wife: Wake up with eldest son, wife gets ready, eldest son washes hands and face, breakfast for eldest son and wife, prepare baby food

◆07:30
Wife: Second son wakes up, second son gets ready, eldest son brushes teeth, eldest son gets dressed, eldest son watches E-Tele, plays with picture books, etc.

◆08:00
Wife: Second son's baby food

◆08:30
Wife: Eldest son goes to nursery school

◆09:00
Wife: Breastfeed second son

◆09:30
Wife: Play with second son with picture books, gymnastics, toys, etc., hang laundry

◆10:00
Wife: Walk with second son, outdoor play, baby swimming, etc., shopping

◆13:00
Wife: Prepare dinner, prepare baby food

◆14:00
Wife: Second son's baby food and breastfeeding

◆15:00
Wife: Eldest son returns from nursery school

◆15:30
Wife: Eldest son's lessons

◆16:30
Wife: Bathe eldest and second son, prepare dinner

◆17:30
Wife: Dinner with eldest son, play with second son

◆18:00
Wife: Eldest son brushes teeth, eldest son's piano practice, play with eldest and second son

◆19:00
Me: Return home, bath and clean bathroom, eldest son's English
Wife: Breastfeed second son, prepare for bed, etc.

◆19:30
Me: Dinner (made by wife), play with eldest son
Wife: Put eldest and second son to sleep

◆20:00
Me: Clean up kitchen and dining room
Wife: Put eldest and second son to sleep

◆20:30
Me: Laundry and folding laundry, clean up living room
Wife: Housework and childcare needed at that time

◆21:30
Me: Go to bed
Wife: Go to bed

Even if I want to balance it with work, when I return to work,I still can barely do housework and childcare during the dayI hit that reality.

In the end,my wife ends up doing childcare alone.

The bath problem

For us as a couple facing my return to work, a big problem was the children's bath.

Our second son, who is growing quite fast, already weighed over 10kg at 7 months old.

He is far outside the average range of the growth curve in the Maternal and Child Health Handbook.

Giving our big second son a bath had been my role almost every day until now.

After I return to work, my wife will have to bathe our eldest and second son at the same time.

For now, so that my wife can bathe our eldest and second son alone, we bought a bath chair for our second son and practiced bathing them even by herself.

It might become even harder once our second son starts toddling.

Just imagining it makes me shudder.

I can picture the battle between my wife and our eldest and second son.

My paternity leave has ended here, but housework and childcare will continue without interruption.

We will proceed while making reviews according to the situation at that time.