What on earth would she show attachment to?

#20231024-269

October 25, 2023 (Tue)
Noko (daughter, 4th grade) has a weak sense of attachment. She lets go and gives up quickly, which is sometimes a relief, but I can't help but suspect it's because she's still young. I find myself thinking that perhaps she had to learn to change her feelings even by force just to survive, or that she learned that even if she wished for something, it would never be granted. And this is despite the fact that it might not be due to her upbringing, but simply her natural temperament.
For example, if I make a mistake that's hard to fix and apologize, she easily says, "It's okay." Since there's often nothing to be done when she throws a tantrum—and I do handle things if they can be resolved—it's very helpful, but she has no lingering attachment, which actually makes me worry.
Even though it's helpful, it's contradictory of me to wish she showed a little more attachment.

Suppose there was a staff member who played with her at an event or something.
She would be having a lot of fun, but then that staff member would have to leave for some business. When that happens, she doesn't show any signs of reluctance and just runs off to another staff member who looks like they might play with her. She doesn't look back or wave.
It's the same with objects like toys. If she plays with something five times, that's a lot for Noko; even if she's overjoyed when she first gets it, she stops playing with it soon after. And if you think she'd be reluctant to let go of something she doesn't even play with, she's quite easygoing and just says, "It's okay."

At the end of summer vacation, I cleaned up Noko's room.
When I handed her a large 45-liter trash bag to put things she didn't need in, it filled up in an instant, and I hurriedly switched the trash bag for a cardboard box.
Noko put in items she had been gifted during the four years she's been with our family without hesitation. She put in things she brought from the children's home. She put in things she bought with her own pocket money. Two cardboard boxes were filled in no time.
Perhaps because her attachment is weak, Noko treats things roughly.
Even toys that are almost new have already lost their small parts, and the packaging is damaged. I wonder if it's just because she's a child, but if they were a bit more complete, I could take them to a second-hand shop. I think to myself that if I could do that, it would lead to new purchases.

Since our family doesn't have a car, even if we were to take things to a second-hand shop to sell, we would have to load them onto our bicycles.
It's a dilemma whether to spend the time and effort for things that wouldn't even fetch 100 yen in total. Even if I tried to sell them as second-hand items on the internet, it's difficult in this condition.
Two months have passed with Noko's two boxes of unwanted toys still sitting in the entryway.
It's not just in the way; having things constantly in the entryway makes me feel cluttered.

Since the heat has settled down, I started changing over our seasonal clothes.
When I pulled out the autumn and winter clothes and had Noko try them on, the sleeve length and hem length were remarkably short. I tilt my head in wonder at how she's growing despite being a light eater, but Noko is steadily getting bigger.
Noko doesn't even look at the previous season's clothes, saying, "I won't wear them anymore, I don't need them."
There's a lot of fast fashion, and no brand-name items. I once tried taking Noko's clothes to a second-hand shop. It was quite a large amount, but it didn't even come to 100 yen, and Mu-kun (my husband) and I just laughed.
Selling them is a hassle, and throwing them away feels wasteful and hurts my conscience.
When I posted photos of the clothes in good condition on our local foster parents' social media group, I received several messages from people hoping to take them as hand-me-downs. If there are people who will wear them, giving them away is the best thing to do.
I also showed the toys to the foster parent who came by car to pick up the clothes at our entryway. They were overjoyed to take them home, and the two boxes were empty in an instant.
Everyone kept saying, "Tell Noko-chan thank you for us."

"So-and-so's family and such-and-such's family were both so happy. They said they would wear them with care. Little so-and-so said it was like having their birthday and Christmas come at the same time because there were so many toys."
Noko rolled her eyes and giggled.
"I'm like Santa Claus!"
She shows no sign of reluctance.
—I wish you were a little more attached to things, though, Noko.
Is that just wanting what I can't have?