To Pursue What You Want, Ignore Unsolicited Advice from Others

Hello! Today, I'm going to talk about why you should ignore unsolicited advice from those around you if you want to pursue your own goals.

In Mr. Kinoshita's broadcast, there was a discussion about whether you have a reverse-engineered plan for your life and what kind of actions you should take.

The broadcast introduced Mr. Kinoshita's recommended points from the perspective of mindset and action, but in my article, I would like to introduce a point that I consider important in terms of mindset.

That is, 'Don't worry about meddling or unsolicited advice from others'!

Unsolicited advice from others (1): Career perspective

It was probably nearly 10 years ago. When I was talking with a colleague from my workplace at the time, the topic of what kind of career path we wanted to follow came up.

While others were saying things like, 'Being a manager seems tough' or 'Working overseas for a few months would be okay,' I frankly stated my wish: 'I want to work in a way that doesn't depend on time or place, working about three days a week.'

Perhaps because working from home or remotely wasn't very common back then, my colleague said to me, 'What is that? You're pathetic.' Since our jobs were in a technical field where experiments were the main focus, it was as if they wanted to say that a way of working that didn't involve coming into the office wasn't a real career.

But I didn't let my colleague's words discourage me, and perhaps because I kept aiming for that way of working as a goal, I was able to achieve full remote work starting the year before last. If I had let my colleague's words make me think, 'I guess that way of working is impossible after all,' I think I would still be spending my days reluctantly commuting to a workplace I hate. So, I'm really glad I ignored my colleague's comments.

Unsolicited advice from others (2): Timing of childbirth

At my old company, there was a promotion exam for the chief class. Although it was a promotion exam, it was something that could essentially be taken based on seniority, so basically everyone could take it around the age of 30. However, it was customary that if you were on maternity or childcare leave during that time, taking the exam would be delayed.

When that topic came up during lunch with colleagues, one senior (a man) said (without being asked), 'I think the right thing to do is to give birth after you pass the chief exam when you're over 30!' with quite a lot of confidence.

It seemed he wanted to say that giving birth after becoming a chief was just right in terms of how it would be perceived by those around you.

The people around us ignored it, but I felt a strong sense of discomfort with this statement. This is because there are large individual differences regarding pregnancy, and I knew from cases I had heard from others that just because you are young does not mean you will necessarily be able to get pregnant and give birth safely.

A few years later, I ended up taking maternity leave before the chief exam, going against what that senior called 'just right.' If I had followed what the senior said blindly, I might not have been able to have a safe pregnancy and childbirth, so this is an episode that made me truly realize that this is not the time to listen to what other people say.

Conclusion

How was it? The two examples above are patterns where I ignored what people said, but if I had followed their advice, I might not be where I am today.

I still have many things I want to do in the future, so I would be happy if you could all realize that it is better to ignore the meddling and unsolicited advice from people around you that you didn't even ask for!

See you next time!