The time I was grilled over my essay for a promotion exam, yet got selected as a 'Featured Article' on note

Introduction

The other day, I opened note and found a happy notification waiting for me.

It seems that the article I posted recently was selected as a 'Featured Article of the Day.'

While the selection criteria for note's 'Featured Articles' are a bit of a mystery, this is the fourth time for me, and I am very honored to be chosen.

I enjoy writing these days, but looking back, I realize there were times when my writing was completely trashed. So, I'd like to reflect on the writing I love to do and the writing I hate and want to avoid.

From childhood to my first few years in the workforce

First off, I actually quite enjoyed writing from the time I was in the lower grades of elementary school.

Perhaps because I was born early in the year, I was terrible at artistic tasks involving my hands, like crafts or drawing, and I couldn't do them at all like the other kids in nursery school, so I hated them for a long time. (Though now, I enjoy those kinds of tasks when I can do them at my own pace.)

However, once I started writing essays in elementary school, I remember being strangely praised by my parents and teachers, which made me very happy.

Getting carried away with that, before I knew it, I was in fifth grade. We had a homework assignment to write a fake essay about a school trip, and when I wrote a really pathetic fake essay, it was strangely well-received by my classmates, and I got carried away again.

In junior high, we had a submission called a 'Life Notebook.' It was something we submitted to our teachers every day, supposedly to reflect on our day and practice introspection.

I was in the middle of my 'chuunibyou' phase at the time. I thought, 'I can't be bothered to do serious introspection,' so I wrote about my pet cat at home or shared my thoughts on variety shows (mainly 'Warau Inu no Bouken') with illustrations, and my teacher told me, 'You're a funny guy,' so I got carried away once more.

After that, I went into chemistry, so I stepped into a world where writing meant serious things like experimental reports, papers, and patent specifications, but then a certain incident occurred.

The trauma of writing: The promotion exam

I don't have any regrets in my life so far, but the one time I absolutely never want to return to is when I was preparing for my promotion exam during my time as a researcher.

It was about six years ago, and since the exam involved an essay, I spent months before the test writing past exam questions and submitting them to my boss for corrections.
This was ridiculously boring and painful.

A lot of it was because my essay was at such a low level, but I was told things like, 'I'm disappointed you'd submit something like this,' and right before the exam, my corrections came back with 'TIME OVER' written in huge red letters. It was quite a spicy form of character assassination and intimidating communication over a mere essay. It is no exaggeration to say that this was one of the prototypes for my later Old Man Studies—a very valuable experience, haha.

There were countless times I was 'coached' in a room for about two hours as part of my essay guidance (of course, I reflect on the fact that my performance was lacking).

By the way, on the actual exam, the questions were completely different from the past papers. I didn't bother thinking about trivial things like, 'What was that coaching for?' (!?), and instead, I just let go and filled out the answer sheet.

I passed the promotion exam, so it was all well and good in the end, but the feeling I'd had since I was a child—that 'I love to write'—started to feel incredibly ridiculous and presumptuous, and I decided I wouldn't really tell people around me that I 'like to write' or that I'm 'good at it.'

Thoughts on writing

A few years later, thanks to an initiative called 'Jibun Kabushiki Gaisha Magazine' by Osamu Kinoshita, I started posting consistently on note, and it's been nearly three years now.

My update frequency has dropped compared to a while ago, but thanks to those who give me likes and comments, I feel very encouraged, and I've been able to keep going, thinking, 'Ah, there are people watching.'

When I look back on when writing is fun and when it's painful, it's fun when I can express myself freely and feel that those around me enjoy it, and it's painful when what I should write is decided by someone else's feelings—like 'write within this framework'—and I get grilled if I don't fit that mold.Thinking about it, I realized that

I am completely unsuited for conforming to others, matching what others like, or acting in a way that fits into a mold (not just in writing, but probably in all my actions).Unlike the two hours of being grilled over essay guidance, on note, where I write whatever I want, people come to see it, and being selected as a featured article by the note editorial department confirms that, at least on note, my style of writing whatever I want is just fine.

Although I occasionally get strange replies, on note, people who don't want to see it can choose not to, so I don't get told things like 'I'm disappointed,' which is also nice.

Those who have encountered me in the past might know, but I'm not the type to write sparkly, positive articles, and I don't have material for 'how-to' articles that are useful to everyone.

I will continue to write about things I notice in my daily life and career, sometimes from a cynical perspective. I would be happy if you came to check out my note again.

To my past bosses who corrected my essays:
Far from being 'TIME OVER,' I am still writing like this today.
See ya! 😎 (Shingo Yanagisawa style)

Until next time!