What to do when your values don't align with your boss? The story of how I used to go to work crying every Tuesday.

Are you exhausted from how you interact with your boss or parents?

The things you cannot change are the most draining

When it comes to dealing with people whose values don't align with yours, if they are friends, you can keep your distance. But with bosses and parents, it's not that simple.

You have to see them every day and keep receiving their words. I think that is the reason why it slowly wears you down.

Today, I will talk honestly about my own experience.

Every Tuesday, I went to work crying

I once worked under a certain boss.

Around that person, people would quit within a month or fall into depression one after another. They were constantly critical, managed every detail, and used harsh language.

A male colleague and I had a meeting with that person every Tuesday morning. Weeks went by where one of us would inevitably be crushed and left in tears. My steps were heavy, and there were times I headed there while crying.

I once brought them chocolate hoping to make them happy, only to have it thrown away right in front of me. I was also told, "That's a poor way of thinking."

After giving birth, the accumulation of this reached its limit, and I ended up in a state where I would cry for no reason and tremble just from receiving a phone call.

Even so, I am grateful to that person now

Two years ago, on New Year's, I called that boss.

It was because I truly felt, "If it weren't for that interaction back then, I wouldn't be who I am today."

I was constantly criticized every day for wanting to deliver something truly good to customers while my actions didn't match that. I didn't know how to process it at the time, but that experience shaped how I approach my work now.

However—this is not a story about telling you to "just endure it."

Changing your interpretation and changing your environment are both necessary

There is a story like this.

Two brothers grew up with an alcoholic father. One was grateful, saying, "Thanks to my father, I learned what not to do," while the other continued to resent him, saying, "Because of my father, I ended up like this too." It is a story about how, even in the same environment, life can change significantly depending on one's interpretation.

Regarding parents, changing your interpretation to gratitude makes life easier for you in the long run. As you get older, you will also be able to change how you keep your distance and the intensity of your interactions.

But a boss is different.

What I can say for sure is that continuing to work hard under a boss you don't get along with is not the only right answer. You can change your interpretation and broaden your perspective. But there is a limit to that.

Asking for a transfer or changing jobs. That is not "running away"; it is a legitimate choice. There is absolutely no reason why you should be the one to blame for continuing to be worn down by a boss you don't get along with.

Work exists within your life

The people you interact with at work are directly linked to your daily emotions. I feel that there are really many people lately who find their relationship with their boss to be difficult.

Change your interpretation of things you cannot change and use it as a driving force. If that still doesn't work, change your environment. I hope you can use these two approaches depending on the situation.

Work exists within your life. Please do not let your life be consumed by your work.

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