Does "being pointed out" mean "being rejected"?

In the past, I lived feeling that
"being pointed out" equals "being rejected"
.

Ever since I was a child.

"I think that's different."

That phrase might have actually been a word of kindness. But to me at the time,

"You are wrong"
"You are no good"

That is how it sounded, as if everything about me was being rejected.

The fear of "making a mistake." The fear of "being rejected." And above all, it was painful because it felt like the fact that "I have no confidence in myself" was being shoved in my face.

It surely wasn't just one of these things, but all of them.

Even now, there are moments when my heart skips a beat. But it is different from before.

"It doesn't mean I'm being rejected"
"This is not an attack"

I have become able to notice that there is a me who can choose a different interpretation by doing that. It is not the "event" itself, but


how you give meaning to that event that creates your emotions
.

Even with the same words,
who they come from, what kind of relationship you have, and with what tone they were conveyed.
There is a real difference there.

I believe that the person's character and the "sense of security" within the relationship with them have nurtured the ability to receive this as "advice filled with love."

That is precisely why I think this way.

Not a relationship where you hide your true feelings out of excessive reserve,
nor a relationship where you intrude without reserve and hurt each other.

While cherishing the distance with the other person,
still being able to properly communicate when necessary.

Being able to give "advice filled with love,"
and being able to receive "words filled with love."

I want to live in such a warm and sincere relationship.

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