"It's okay just this once" makes running a classroom gradually more difficult

"It's actually against the rules, but just this once..."

When running a small classroom, there are surprisingly many situations where you have to make this kind of judgment.

The makeup lesson deadline has passed.

They are requesting a day of the week that you don't normally offer.

They are asking to change lesson times repeatedly.

Tuition payment is a little late.

As a teacher, you might think:

"They probably have their reasons."
"It's just once."
"It's not worth saying no over."

You accept it with those feelings.

Of course, that in itself is not a bad thing.

However, when this

"It's okay just this once"

piles up, running the classroom can gradually become difficult.

"Just this once" can become a new standard for the other party,

while on the teacher's side,

"This time is special"

is what you think.

But from the parent's perspective,

"In this classroom, if I ask, they will accommodate me"

becomes their experience.

They don't have bad intentions.

It is natural to think that if they were accommodated once, they should ask again next time.

For example,

"Normally, makeup lessons must be taken within the same month"

even if you have that rule,

you accepted a makeup lesson for the following month just once.

Then, a few months later,

"You let me make up the lesson in the following month before, so can you do it this time too?"

is what happens.

At that point, the teacher is in trouble.

You said OK before.

But this time it's difficult.

So it's hard to refuse.

In this way,

it becomes a classroom where the teacher makes decisions on a case-by-case basis rather than following rules.

What is truly tiring is the "judgment," not the "accommodation."

Adding one makeup lesson itself might not be that hard.

However,

"What should I do this time?"

"Is it okay to refuse only this person?"

"Should I accept it because I accepted it before?"

"But if I do this, it seems like it will continue forever."

Thinking about things like this every time is more tiring than you think.

In small classrooms, the teacher often makes all the decisions themselves.

There is no receptionist.

There is no administrative staff.

There is no one to consult about the rules.

Therefore, every single small judgment remains in the teacher's head.

And before you know it,

more than the lessons themselves,

the time spent thinking about "how to handle this without offending anyone"

can end up being longer.

Refusing is different from being cold.

"It's difficult this time"

I think many teachers feel resistance to saying this.

Especially,

the more a teacher values their relationship with students and parents,

the more likely they are to feel guilty about refusing.

However,

refusing does not equal being cold.

Rather,

continuing to force yourself to accept things you cannot do,

and the teacher getting tired,

is not good for the classroom in the long run.

For example,

"I'm sorry, but we ask that makeup lessons be taken within the month."

This is not a cold sentence.

It is just stating the rules.

You can also add,

"I will let you know if there are any available dates."

You can be kind while still following the rules.

If you make an exception, make it an "exception you can explain yourself."

Of course, you don't have to refuse everything mechanically.

For example,

the lesson was canceled due to the teacher's circumstances.

The classroom itself was closed due to a typhoon or similar.

There are special circumstances, such as long-term hospitalization.

In these cases, you might handle things differently than usual.

What is important is

being able to explain to yourself why this time is an exception.

Not because "I feel kind of sorry for them,"

but having a standard like

"because the class was canceled due to the classroom's circumstances"

"because it was canceled due to a disaster."

If you do that, it becomes easier to make decisions when a similar case happens next time.

Don't "change kindness based on the person," but make it a "system."

For example,

suppose you decide "makeup lessons for absences are within the month."

However,

if they are absent from a lesson at the end of the month, there are almost no days left to make it up.

In that case,

"For absences at the end of the month, it is possible until the first week of the following month"

decide that from the beginning.

This is not special treatment, but a rule.

Alternatively,

"Makeup lessons are limited to once a month"

"Makeup lessons are only possible if notified by the day before"

and so on.

You should just make rules that fit your classroom.

In other words,

don't lose the teacher's kindness,

but incorporate that kindness into the system.

That will make things easier for the teacher as well.

Before saying "just this once," try thinking about one thing.

When you are asked for a special favor,

before answering immediately,

please think about one thing.

"If other students asked me for the same thing, could I accommodate them?"

If the answer is,

"It would be impossible if 10 people asked me,"

then that might be a part you should make a rule for in the future.

What you can do for one person and

what you can continue as a classroom are different.

Because it is a small classroom,

the teacher's time and energy are limited.

You don't have to use all of those limited resources

for handling exceptions.

Toward a classroom where the teacher doesn't have to worry every time.

"It's okay just this once"

is a very kind phrase.

That is exactly why you should pause for a moment when using it.

Is this really just this once?

What will you do if the same request comes next time?

Can you provide the same accommodation to other students?

If you think that far ahead,

it will be less likely for the teacher to suffer later.

Classroom rules

are not there to trouble the parents.

They are there so that the teacher doesn't have to worry every time and can handle things with the same standard.

And that,

as a result, makes it a classroom that is easy for parents to understand.

The kinder the teacher,

the less they need to take everything on their own judgment.

I think you should just entrust that kindness

to the "system" little by little.