#272: Life is hard because you have the 'order' wrong
The other day, I heard these words and was struck by them.
Have→Do→Be is not the way, but
Be→Do→Have is the key to living a rich life.
Doesn't that sound true when you think about it?
The idea that 'if I have money (Have), I can do what I want (Do), and I will be happy (Be)' is something I've heard so often that I, too, assumed it was just 'how things are' without questioning it.
However, with this order, the starting point becomes a sense of lack, as in 'I have to fill what is missing.'
Even if the actions (Do) look the same,the meaning of the action is completely different depending on whether the starting point is lack or fulfillment.
For example,
Working because 'I don't have money' versus
Working because 'I want to be a person who circulates abundance'
Even though what you are doing is the same 'working,' the meaning changes depending on whether the starting point is lack or fulfillment.
Of course, you can't just reach the state of 'I want to be a person who circulates abundance' from the very beginning, right?
But you can start by being conscious, even in a small way, of 'what kind of person I want to be.'
For example, you can choose little by little in your daily life, such as 'I want to be a person who brings joy to others, so I will do this work carefully.'
When you start from Be, your actions change from'to fill a lack' to 'to express the person I want to be little by little'.
I believe that accumulating these moments leads to abundance.
1. The Have → Do → Be mindset
The order is 'If I have XX (Have), I can do YY (Do), and I can become ZZ (Be).'
This is the sequence.
Examples:
If I have money (Have) → I can do what I like (Do) → I can be happy (Be).
If I have confidence (Have) → I can take on challenges (Do) → I can become a person who has grown (Be).
With this order, there is a premise that 'you must have it first,' so you may find yourself forever bound by the 'self that does not have it'.
2. The Be → Do → Have mindset
The order is: 'First, decide on your way of being (Be) → take actions appropriate for that (Do) → and the things you obtain as a result (Have) will follow.'
Example:
Be happy (Be) → spend time with gratitude and smiles (Do) → be blessed with relationships and opportunities (Have).
Be a confident person (Be) → take on challenges with your head held high (Do) → gain results and experience (Have).
This is the mindset that if you make 'how you want to be' the axis, your actions will naturally follow, and as a result, the 'things you have' will expand abundantly.
3. Tips for living a rich life
By putting Be first, you are freed from conditional happiness
→ Instead of 'I'm not happy because I don't have X,' it becomes 'Because I am happy, I can take action and attract results.'Actions become consistent
→ Since you have decided on the person you want to be, your choices are less likely to waver.Have comes as a byproduct
→ You don't get too obsessed with results and can enjoy the process.
The importance of focusing on your way of being
Shifting 'Have' just a little to think in terms of 'Want' might seem positive and good at first glance.
When starting from Want
'I want to do more of X (Want)'
→ 'So I have to take action (Do)'
→ 'If I do that, I can become my ideal self (Be)'
With this order, the starting point is a sense of lack, that 'I am currently missing something.'
Therefore, you are often bound by impatience and anxiety.
Of course, 'Want' (desires and wishes) itself is important.
I'm sure many people suffer from the 'disease of being unable to even notice what you want.'
However, if you chase 'Want' based on a sense of lack, you will constantly be trying to fill the 'self that is missing something,' and it will be hard to ever feel satisfied.
On the other hand, if you start from 'Be (the self you want to be)', the starting point is 'the self that is already here.'
From there, a flow is created where actions are naturally chosen, and as a result, Have and Want are also fulfilled.
Workshops are places to 'give and receive'
When you start taking action from 'what you want to do (Want),' you inevitably start from a place of 'feeling inadequate,' which makes it easy to become bound by anxiety and impatience.
On the other hand, when you start from 'who you want to be (Be),' your actions and choices are determined naturally, creating a flow where Have and Want are fulfilled as a result.
What has a major influence on that Be (way of being) is your 'values'.
Even if you land a job that pays an enormous amount of money, if it doesn't align with your values, it will be difficult to continue.
These 'values' are so important, yet they are often so obvious that you don't even notice them yourself.
However, once you can put them into words, they will give you reliable strength in your daily choices and actions.
In the next workshop, we will cover the theme that I value most in the program I offer, 'My User Manual' = 'Values'.
This is an expanded 1.5-hour session.
Through the experience of digging up your own values and sharing them with others, it should be a time when your Be (way of being) begins to take shape little by little.
A workshop is not just a place to receive information.
New insights are born from expressing things in your own words, talking with others, and listening to others' stories.
The real thrill of a workshop is encountering things you wouldn't notice on your own.
I would be happy if you could join me for this time.
Please feel free to participate.
🟢 Information on the free workshop
🌱 Self-Strategy Meeting vol.4
'I can't find what I want to do!'
~Focusing on your inner axis 'values' and realizing the foundation of your true self~
🗓 September 21st (Sun) 13:00-14:30 (Held via Zoom, free)
👥 This is a small-group workshop.
📩 Please apply via the official LINE!
→ LINEofficial account here
If you participate and feel like 'I want to talk more' or 'I'd like to consult with you in detail,' please consider a free individual consultation (60 minutes).
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<<About me...>>
As a 'My User Manual Creation Supporter,' I provide support for those struggling with their life career at various turning points to achieve a way of living that is true to themselves.
I published my first Kindle book in June 2025.
I also broadcast audio on stand.fm.
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Please connect with me via my official LINE account too!