Things I'm glad I continued note

Hello.

It's getting colder, but is everyone taking care of themselves?

I'm Milk, and I've recently been taking a break from posting articles on candy@.

Actually, one of the reasons I decided to start note about two years ago was because I wanted to try writing articles about my favorite movies and foreign dramas
.

I, who had never even written an essay before,

before I knew it, I started writing about my family, my two daughters, and my husband,

and sometimes, about my mother and me as well.

It might be more accurate to say that rather than writing because I intended to, I was writing down feelings that welled up from within me.

Stories about my eldest daughter, whose ADHD has always been on my mind,

stories about my second daughter, who is a highly sensitive person but chose to leave home and move to Tokyo for university,

and stories about my husband, who has been with me for many years despite all the ups and downs.

There were also many things I only realized after I tried writing about my feelings toward my mother and our delicate relationship.

Perhaps there was no need to write and post about my private life,

and if this were a one-way blog, I don't think I would have shared things about my family.

However, while drifting through the streets of note,

and while listening to the inner voices of many other noters,

I experienced a sensation for the first time where something like a boundary that had been holding me back began to melt away,

and before I knew it, I was writing down what I felt at that moment.

At first, it was very scary.

Writing about my daughters

Writing about my mother

Things I have never confided in anyone before,

things that perhaps I hadn't even realized myself (or maybe I had tried to forget) and had buried deep in my subconscious—I post these as articles.

I had various conflicts about writing about my private life, but

once I took the plunge and wrote and posted the articles,

I was able to notice new feelings and thoughts while writing,

my heart and mind became organized...

and above all, by writing, my feelings seemed to be purified more and more, and I felt lighter.

And I was able to gradually accept the things I had regretted regarding my eldest daughter, who has ADHD, and the feeling of blaming myself faded compared to before...

And I became stronger.

I am sure that is entirely because kind fellow 'noters' read my clumsy articles and gave me 'likes' and warm comments, and I am grateful for that.

And now, my current state of mind is that something has been cleared away, and I feel very refreshed.

I know that many unexpected events will continue to happen regarding my beloved daughters, my husband, and my parents.

The idea that everything will go well from here on out and lead to a happy ending is something that only exists in fiction.

But I have started to think that if I worry and fret about things that haven't even happened yet, I won't be able to enjoy the present.

I will be turning sixty next year.

There is no time to hesitate~

“I wanted to move on to the next step”

“So I want to create a new account and start a Milk blog”

I heard this voice from within me. (Maybe it was the voice of little candy@~)

Actually, a little while ago, I decided to write a blog specializing in movies and foreign dramas, so I contracted a server and even tried my hand at WordPress.

I was able to pass the Google AdSense review and had been writing movie articles on WordPress for about a month, but

It just wasn't fun.

I got tired of worrying about things I don't understand, like SEO and PVs~

I don't even know who is reading it.

I really started to miss the 'likes' and comments on note💦

So I came up with the idea of creating a new account on note

And within that same day, I had created the 'Milk' blog (lol).

Of course, it is possible to write movie articles under 'candy@' as I have been doing,
and that would be easier,
and I knew it would catch more people's eyes than 'Milk'.

But I dared to choose to start fresh.

Ah, I really do love movies, don't I.

Two years after starting note,

I feel like I've returned to my roots.

I'm sure I'm standing here today because I wrote on note as candy@.

Starting note changed me (I was able to change).

I like the version of myself now that was able to change lol

And I want to keep changing from here on out

I want to spend my time even more happily

I feel the importance and weight of time more than I did when I was young

For a while, I will be sharing the world of my favorite movies💓

If you'd like, please follow Milk and come visit me~

Thank you for your support.

https://note.com/brave_zinnia931

For a while, I will be taking a break from candy@'s essays and haiku

and will be posting articles mostly about 'Milk', so if you're interested, please come visit! (I'm advertising)

I've even lost track of what I'm writing myself, but

thank you for reading this far.

I look forward to your continued support.