I deleted my dating app account. I really messed up.
I messed up.
I ended up deleting my account.
Even though I was finally chatting with several people.
Leaving my future husband candidates (tentative) behind, I quietly pressed "Delete Account."
Why?
I don't even know myself.
No, I do know.
I got scared.
The "Miracle Photo" Problem
My profile picture.
The one I agonized over choosing.
It looks just a little bit cuter than I do in real life.
Actually, maybe it's more than a little.
It's a miracle.
The lighting.
The angle.
The expression.
God smiled upon me just that one day.
It was a miracle photo that only happens a few times in a lifetime.
And ever since I posted that photo.
I clearly started getting likes from my type of people.
Wait, has my life finally begun?
Have I entered my prime?
I thought.
But life wasn't that sweet.
The destructive power of "Would you like to meet up?"
When you keep messaging, that moment naturally arrives.
"Would you like to meet up sometime?"
It came.
It finally came.
An event that should normally be a cause for joy.
However, an alarm starts blaring in my brain.
BEEEEEEEP!!
Emergency situation detected!!
Photo fraud, heading to the scene!!
No, I didn't edit it.
I really didn't.
I just smoothed out my skin a little.
It's just standard grooming for a modern woman.
But.
I'm scared.
I'm incredibly scared.
If we actually meet and they think,
"…You look different from your photo, don't you?"
What should I do?
What if they're disappointed?
In that instant, my mental state will probably shatter into pieces.
If I'm going to get hurt, I'd rather run away
If I'm going to disappoint the other person.
I'll run away first.
That's the kind of thinking I fell into.
No, no, wait.
I finally matched with someone.
I finally gathered the courage to start.
Am I going to quit here?
But I'm scared.
No, but it's such a waste.
I'm scared.
But...
I'm scared.
In the end, the fear won.
And I pressed the delete account button.
That was the moment I lost to the conveniences of modern technology.
How much does everyone else enhance their photos?
The profile photo problem.
Isn't this an eternal theme?
Everyone enhances them a little.
No, they definitely do.
I think there are fewer brave souls who post their ID photos as-is.
But.
Where is the line for what's safe?
There is no right answer here.
The marriage-hunting warriors of the world say,
"Everyone looks different from their photos when you meet, it's mutual!"
Apparently so.
I understand that logically.
But my heart can't keep up.
For an introverted and negative person like me, the difficulty level is too high.
I'm scared.
Really.
But even so.
I don't have the courage to post my true self either.
What kind of contradictory creature am I?
Maybe I shouldn't have quit
Now I think.
Maybe I shouldn't have quit.
At the very least.
No one had said to me,
"You look completely different from your photo!"
Nothing happened.
It was all just events in my imagination.
The future me got hurt on her own, and the current me deleted the account.
It was a self-destruction that transcended time and space.
And to the gentlemen who matched with me and exchanged messages.
I am truly sorry for disappearing so suddenly.
Marriage hunting is difficult.
How did people who are married actually do it?
I'm still looking for the instruction manual.