Why Are Those People Always So Stable?

For those who have valued "self-affirmation" until now, accepting yourself as you are should have been an important step in preparing the foundation of your heart. However, no matter how much you tell yourself "it's okay to be as I am," don't you sometimes feel a sense of insecurity or find your confidence wavering in unexpected moments?

In fact, to truly stabilize your heart, there is another pillar you should cultivate alongside self-affirmation. That is "self-efficacy."

In this article, I will explain why self-efficacy is essential for emotional stability, and how to cultivate "unwavering confidence" that you can start practicing today.

Self-efficacy is "trust in oneself"

Self-efficacy is a state of trusting your own abilities and actions.

• Self-affirmation: A YES to your existence that says "it's okay to be who I am right now"

• Self-efficacy: A YES to your actions that says "I have the power to accomplish this"

These are by no means contradictory. If self-affirmation is the "root," then self-efficacy is the "trunk." By supporting yourself with the roots and thickening the trunk of self-efficacy, you can build a heart that will not break even in the rough waves of life.

Moving to the side that "controls" the desire for approval

We tend to measure our own value by the evaluations of others. In the current trend of "let's raise our self-affirmation," there are not a few cases where people simply try to satisfy their hearts with approval from others.

However, if you become dependent on "external rewards" like the evaluations of others, your confidence will dry up the moment you are no longer recognized. This may not be raising your self-affirmation, but simply inflating your desire for approval.

Do not deny the desire for approval; "accept and master it"

The desire to be recognized is a very natural human instinct. Even if there are times when you feel it excessively, first try to accept yourself along with that desire, saying, "I see, you are living that hard."

On top of that, instead of making the desire for approval solely about evaluation from others, let's convert it into "energy for you to recognize yourself." When you are praised by others, instead of passively thinking, "It has value because they said so," shine a spotlight back on your own proactive actions by thinking, "What I have accumulated has reached them as well."

When you become able to cleverly manipulate external evaluations as "material to believe in yourself," your self-affirmation will begin to emit a true radiance that is not swayed by the words and actions of others.

Why the 'Process' of Action Builds Confidence

Why is action necessary to cultivate the 'power to believe in yourself'? It is because the brain remembers the 'process' more than the 'result'.

You don't need to achieve massive success. 'Woke up at the time I decided,' 'Aligned my shoes,' 'Sent that one message I was worried about.' The accumulation of these small actions (the process) serves as powerful evidence that 'I am a person who can execute what I decide,' building up your self-efficacy.

While results can be influenced by luck, the fact that you took action is an asset that belongs only to you and can never be taken away. This asset is the true nature of unwavering confidence.

Two Habits You Can Start Today to Maintain Emotional Stability

1. Only Compare Yourself to 'Yourself Yesterday'

If you only compare yourself to the glittering lives of those around you, your self-efficacy will be eroded. What is important is not to fit yourself into a 'template of happiness' created by society, but to have your own yardstick. The object of comparison should always be your past self. Let's acknowledge that you have moved forward, even if just one step, compared to yesterday.

2. Reconfirm 'Societal Standards' and Free Yourself

The 'ideal self' or 'high self-esteem' often discussed in society is frequently a mere illusion. There is no need to be desperate to raise your self-esteem unnecessarily. 'I am simply not fitting into society's mold. I am doing what I need to do at my own pace.' Drawing that line and focusing on the tasks right in front of you will, in the end, provide the most emotional stability.

The 'Aura' of Someone Who Has Both Wheels Aligned

1. When Taking on New Challenges

People who have both self-esteem and self-efficacy aligned show a reaction to unknown territory that is 'neither overly fearful nor reckless.'

• The effect of self-esteem: Because there is a sense of security that 'even if I fail and don't get results, my value as a human being does not change,' you do not become paralyzed by the fear of failure.

• The effect of self-efficacy: You can calmly judge 'what you can do now and what you are lacking.' You find concrete strategies, thinking, 'Even if it's impossible as I am now, if I prepare this way, I should be able to do it.'

• Result: You can move into action lightly, thinking, 'Let's try it with nothing to lose. If it doesn't work, I'll just think about it again.'

2. When criticized or not appreciated by others

They are not swayed by a need for approval and have their own internal standards for evaluation.

• Effect of self-affirmation: Because they have a foundation of "I am fine as I am," even when told negative things, they do not feel as though their personality is being rejected and do not fall into a deep depression.

• Effect of self-efficacy: They can separate the feedback, thinking, "I can fix the technical mistakes in their critique." They can process criticism as material for their own growth (feedback), thinking, "I will do better next time by doing this."

• Result: They can constructively reframe it, thinking, "That advice has a point. Okay, let's improve this next time."

3. When facing daily troubles or mistakes

Even when unforeseen circumstances arise, they do not panic and instead focus their consciousness on "solving" the problem.

• Effect of self-affirmation: They do not waste time by continuing to blame "the self who made the mistake." They can quickly forgive themselves, thinking, "What's done is done."

• Effect of self-efficacy: They immediately start looking for, "What can I do right now to fix this situation?" Past experiences (success stories) like "I overcame a previous trouble, so I will surely be okay this time too" support them.

• Result: They can pour their energy into solving the problem, thinking, "Well, how shall I get through this?"

Summary

When these two are well-balanced, they appear to others as "stable, yet somehow enjoying themselves."

• Self-affirmation only (roots only): You are healed by the thought that "it is fine to be as I am," but if it is not accompanied by action, you may feel a sense of insecurity in a sudden moment, thinking, "Nothing has changed after all."

• Self-efficacy only (trunk only): You can push forward with the thought that "if I do it, I can do it," but if you suffer a major setback once, there is a danger that you will snap and break, thinking, "I have no value if I cannot do it."

Finally

Gently embrace yourself with self-affirmation, and softly push yourself forward with self-efficacy. When these two wheels are aligned, your heart should become infinitely free and stable.

First, how many "promises to yourself" did you keep today? When you count them again, you might find more than you expected. Those small steps will turn into the great confidence that supports you.

How was it?

Thank you for reading the article today as well.

I hope you have a wonderful day today where you can shine as your true self.

Here are some tips to boost your self-efficacy ↓