[The Trap of Human Relationships] Borrowing money and running away, or being resented for refusing... The psychology of people who ask for money and how to fend them off
Have you ever had a close friend or acquaintance ask you,
“I really need you to lend me some money”?
It is natural to feel kindness and think, “We’ve known each other a long time, and I want to help if they are in trouble.”
However, when money issues get involved, that kindness can instantly turn into a quagmire of trouble.
This topic comes up regularly on the internet and social media. Did you know that there is actually an incredibly unreasonable structure hidden behind it, where “it’s hell if you lend it, and hell if you refuse”?
In this article, we will explore the real psychology of people who ask for money and defensive measures to protect yourself.
1. Once you lend it, it’s over. The reality of being ghosted and having them run away
The simplest, yet most frequently occurring trouble in reality is the pattern where they **“run away the moment you lend it.”**
Right up until the moment you handed it over or transferred it, they were extremely grateful, saying, “Thank you so much! I’ll be in your debt for life!” but the moment the repayment date arrives, their attitude changes completely.
They block you on LINE and reject your calls
They delete their entire social media account and disappear without a trace
They even cut off all mutual friendships and go missing
To a normal person, it seems unthinkable to “throw away your credibility for just a few tens or hundreds of thousands of yen,” but to them, friends and acquaintances are nothing more than “cards that can be cashed in when in trouble.” Once they have the money, the card is no longer needed. They reset the relationship without a shred of guilt.
2. Resentment if you refuse. The terror of a distorted victim mentality
Even if you choose to “not lend it because you are afraid of them running away,”
that doesn’t necessarily mean it will end peacefully.
Because, just like in those satisfying revenge-themed YouTube animations,
nasty retaliation exists in reality too.
Spreading lies to others that “that person is cold-hearted”
They resent you the moment you refuse,
and tell mutual friends or colleagues
“I was abandoned even though I was in trouble”
and “they are a cold-blooded person,”
trying to isolate you.
Psychological attacks saying “My life was ruined because of you”
Ignoring their own lack of planning,
they say things like “I went bankrupt because you wouldn’t lend me money”
or “I was kicked out of my house,”
blaming all their misfortunes on the person who refused
in an attempt to plant guilt in you.
If you lend it, you are treated as the "villain who keeps demanding repayment," and if you refuse, you are made into the "cold-hearted villain who abandoned them."
The most unreasonable part of this trouble is that once you get involved,
no matter which option you choose, you end up being the villain.
3. Even if it is returned... The psychology of "turning the tables and cutting ties"
Even if you are lucky enough to get your money back, it is not a happy ending.
A story once went viral on social media where someone said, "After finally recovering 100,000 yen over the course of a year, the other person got angry, called me a 'money-grubber,' and blocked me."
Why does the borrower get angry? In their minds, as time passes, the greatest stress shifts from "not having repaid the debt" to "being constantly nagged by the other person."
By painting you as a "cold-hearted person who keeps nagging for money," they try to escape their own guilt and justify themselves. This is the psychology of people who return evil for good.
Summary: The only defense to protect yourself
People who ask for money are usually already cornered mentally and financially, and in most cases, their rational brakes are broken.
There is only one rule to protect yourself from such people.
"Do not lend even a single yen that you cannot consider a gift (money you can give up on even if it never comes back)."
No matter how much they beg, and no matter how much you care for a junior or friend, you must harden your heart and refuse by saying, "I have no money to lend." I am painfully aware that this is the only way to protect yourself and, in the true sense, protect the relationship between you both.
I hope you all, being kind-hearted people, will be careful not to be taken advantage of.
#HumanRelationships #MoneyTroubles #Friendships #MentalHealth #LifeLessons #SelfDefense #WayOfLife