If you are worried about a child who doesn't make eye contact. Finding 'signs of connection' without rushing, and advice on consulting with teachers

Hello, this is Honwaka.
Today's blog is about 'children we are concerned about'.
This content is especially for those who have felt anxious, thinking, 'My child might not make eye contact very often...'

Don't rush! There are many reasons for 'not making eye contact'
There is no need to immediately conclude that 'not making eye contact equals a problem'.
There are truly many reasons why a child might not make eye contact.

• Because they are shy

• Because their interest is directed elsewhere

• Because they are nervous

• Because they don't like being stared at

These are natural reactions that the child is feeling 'right now', separate from any developmental issues.

A reassuring episode that actually happened
There was a two-year-old boy who had just started at nursery school.
He wouldn't make eye contact when I called his name, and I sometimes worried, 'What's wrong?'
But one day, he gently pulled my sleeve and led me to the 'block storage area'.
He didn't make eye contact then either, but it was a moment where I felt, 'This child truly trusts me.'
I want to cherish the feeling of trying to connect more than whether or not we make eye contact.

It's not just eyes! What are a child's 'signs of connection'?
Even if they don't make eye contact, children are sending many other 'signs of connection'.

• Stopping movement completely when their name is called
  → Proof that they recognize it is their own name

• Looking at the same thing an adult points to
  → The beginning of the 'power to share'

• Smiling at a favorite page in a picture book
  → A moment of sharing the feeling of 'this is fun'

Please try to find these signs as well.

Feelings when comparing with others
'But I still feel like they are different from other children...'
'When my older child was that age, they looked me in the eye much more...'
It's natural to think things like that.
Even if you don't intend to compare, it can pop into your mind in a fleeting moment.
But that is also proof that you are watching your child closely.

Feel free to consult with nursery school or kindergarten teachers
Some people might hesitate, thinking, 'I want to talk to the teacher, but they might be busy...'
But teachers are watching your child closely and also want to hear about how they are at home.
They are often happy to set aside time on another day when they are free.
Please don't worry alone; feel free to reach out.
As a childcare worker, that is what I think.
Consulting can lead to new insights and peace of mind.

If you are still worried, consult a specialized institution
There are cases where development is a concern.
In such cases, please feel free to consult medical institutions or local developmental centers.
Receiving advice from experts often leads to peace of mind or appropriate support.

Even if they don't make eye contact, your child is properly connected to you
It might be too early to conclude that 'not making eye contact' equals 'developmental delay'.
Your child is properly sensing your voice, your warmth, and your gaze.
Let's prioritize connecting through the heart rather than through the eyes.

I am also waiting for your consultations on Coconala.

Thank you for reading until the end.

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