Happy Writing Marathon #51: If you were a color, what would you be? And why?

Hello. I am a mother currently struggling to raise 12-year-old twin boys while working as a pharmacist at a dispensing pharmacy for over 20 years.

If I were to compare myself to a color, it would be "deep green."
Just as the green of nature provides healing to people, "healing" has been a major theme in my life. Now, after years of exploration and accumulated experience, I want to be the "deep green" of a mature tree with deep roots, rather than the fresh green of a young leaf.

This time, I will talk about my own experience where reality changed significantly through "healing."

The declaration that "Mother will not live long"

I was born as the first child of a mother who had a frail constitution. My mother developed diabetes at the age of 20, when she gave birth to me. This was not due to an unhealthy lifestyle, but the result of overlapping factors that could not be helped, such as the fact that my mother herself was born prematurely.

When I was about 12 years old, I heard my mother crying and talking to my father from the bedroom.
"The doctor told me that if complications arise, there is a possibility of blindness or artificial dialysis. It seems I can only live until I'm about 50 at the longest..."

At that moment, my heart froze. "I don't know when Mom will be gone. I have to be strong." From that day on, the anxiety that "we might not be able to see each other tomorrow" began to cast a shadow over both my mother's heart and mine.

The miracle 40 years later

However, 40 years have passed since that day. My mother is now 72 years old, has no complications, and is actually living more energetically than people her own age. She is relied upon at work, takes care of her grandchildren, and enjoys meals with friends every day.

Recently, my mother, who I dispense insulin for as a pharmacist, laughed and said this to me:
"At this rate, I might even live past 90."

When I heard those words, my heart, which had been tense for so many years, finally melted. I was able to free myself from the guilt deep in my heart that "I made my mother sick because I was born."

What I have practiced to heal my loved ones

Of course, this is just one personal experience. However, I believe that what I have learned about "healing" from psychiatrists and experts, and what I have practiced at the cost of millions of yen and a vast amount of time, will be a hint for those who are similarly troubled by family illness, nursing care, or human relationships.

I will introduce a few points that can be incorporated into daily life.

1. Understand medical care correctly and improve communication
   My mother was meticulous, followed her doctor's advice, and learned a lot about her illness. Also, in a busy medical setting, it is important to prepare to "briefly convey" your condition and wishes when visiting the doctor. I think the relationship of trust with her attending physician has improved significantly because I gave my mother advice. Once that happens, you will be able to receive more appropriate medical care.

2. Heal your own "grudges"
   My home in the past was a dysfunctional family swayed by my father's instability. You don't have to tell the other person directly. Looking at how you felt as a child and healing those emotions will, as a result, lead to reducing the stress of the entire family.

3. Fully savor the "here and now"
   In the healing method "Ho'oponopono," I learned the idea that "doing what you should do in the place where you should be can lead to the healing of your loved ones," and it has remained in my heart. You don't need to worry about illness 24 hours a day. Work hard, play with your children, and relax at a cafe by yourself. Enjoying this moment is the best gift for your family.

4. Continue calmly with prayer
   I have been praying for my mother's health for over 20 years. Recently, I have also been experiencing poor health due to menopause, so I am praying for my own health and adjusting my lifestyle habits.

Finally

If it weren't for my encounter with Ken Honda and the cooperation of many people, I might have kept this story to myself and accidentally taken it to the grave (laughs).
I am happy that I was able to put it into this form now.

I pray that you are all healthy and can truly enjoy time with your loved ones.
Thank you for reading until the end.

[Postscript]
This was selected as a recommended work by Ken Honda.
I am truly grateful from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you all for your support.