[Essay] The Express-Train Eldest Daughter

The eldest daughter and the second daughter are three school years apart.

In terms of age, that is a difference of two years and a few months.

Because of that delicate age gap, there were times I made my eldest daughter hold back on toys.

She wanted a Sylvanian Families house set, but I was afraid of the small parts that the second daughter, who was at that age, might put in her mouth.

Later, thinking she might still want to play with it, I bought it when I happened to see it on sale. She told me, "I wish I could have played with this when I was a little younger," but well, I also remember feeling relieved seeing her enjoy playing with it alongside her younger sister.

As the firstborn of three siblings, there are likely other things I have made her endure.

Perhaps, while enduring these things, she started thinking, "It's faster to move forward on my own than to wait for my parents," and became more proactive. Or maybe it was just her personality from the start.

In elementary school, she shocked us by starting her own club activity.

Invited by her dad, she obtained a Class C Hazardous Materials Engineer license. It's a real-name qualification so I can't prove it, but she got it in the sixth grade. Apparently, she found the exam venue, filled with adults, to be interesting.

And then, a few years later, high school entrance exams.

"I want to go to a technical college."

When my eldest daughter said that, I thought I should have pushed her harder and kept her in Kumon.

That said, the eldest and second daughters only attended Kumon for about a year. The reason we started was simply because it was near the house we moved to, so the children could go by themselves.

I myself had never been to what is called a cram school, and I started from a point where I didn't even know there would be regular parent-teacher meetings with the Kumon instructor.

The instructor, seeing my eldest daughter's aptitude for math, urged me to get her more motivated and have her advance further.

I was like,

"Uh... well..." and was quite noncommittal, and my eldest daughter herself wasn't that motivated either. You might wonder why I even enrolled her in the school (laughs).

That's why she quit so soon.

If I had watched my eldest daughter a little more closely, perhaps there might have been a time when I could have enthusiastically said, "Thanks to Kumon!"

From my perspective, as someone who has been idling along at a slow pace, her speed and decisiveness feel like an express train, and I am often surprised, wondering, "Is she really my child?"

However, as I watch her every day—supporting her favorite YouTubers or getting absorbed in games—I see that she is undoubtedly my child.

I can say with certainty that my eldest daughter's future will be interesting, as she is both like me and different from me.

#ThursdayIsThreeDay

Thank you for reading✨