“Unwavering and Straight” — Stories of Life That No One Taught Me, Picked Up on the Gravel Road by the Lost Generation

The Truth of “Human Endeavor” Observed by a FAX Customer Engineer

— 17 Years of “Life Stories No One Taught Me” Picked Up in the Field —

This time, I’ve decided to make this a reflection on myself, EX-FAX-CE.
It will be a bit long, but please bear with me.

Prologue: The Scenery Only Those Who Walked the Gravel Road Know

“Live straight.”

Born in January 1974, I am now 51 years old. How complex are the feelings with which we, the first generation of the Lost Generation/Ice Age, have heard these words?

Born in Minato Ward, raised in Setagaya, married in Shinagawa, and now living in Yokohama.
It might sound glamorous if written down, but the reality was a very ordinary Showa-era household where the budget was always tight. Currently, I spend my days caring for my father, who is bedridden with terminal cancer, and my mother, who has dementia, while also supporting my daughter with developmental disabilities.
My wife also has many days when she is not feeling well.

Even so, I want to find a way to live and smile.

The reason is that what stretched out before us was not a paved road maintained for walking straight. We had no choice but to keep walking, feeling our way along a desolate gravel road.

However, there is a “truth” that has become visible precisely because we are the ones who kept walking that path.

Chapter 1: The “Reality of Human Endeavor” Seen at the FAX Frontline

People I Met Over 17 Years, from Large Corporations to Shopping Streets

After graduating from school, the job I took was the rather unusual one of a “FAX Customer Engineer.”

The places I visited ranged from large corporate offices to small shops, local factories, medical institutions, the backstage of TV stations, and the Tsukiji Market. I was truly an “unsung hero” during the era when the FAX was the cornerstone of information.

It was far from glamorous, but it was a valuable job where I could see the reality of human endeavor up close.It was a valuable job where I could see the reality of human endeavor up close.

The “Truths” I Learned in the Field

There was no training. In a workplace where the colors of the Showa era remained strong, it was a daily occurrence to face models I had never seen before. It was 17 years of managing everything through my own experience and trial and error.

In that time, I realized something.

In an era where words like “efficiency” and “time performance” did not exist, people were moved more by “human emotion.”

When I went to fix a broken FAX first thing in the morning, a lady would offer me a warm cup of tea, saying, “Thank you, you saved me.” The owner of a local factory working late into the night would hand me a canned coffee, saying, “Thanks for your hard work.”

Whether in a large corporate office or a small shop, there was always a sense of human warmth.

Perhaps while I thought I was repairing machines, I was actually repairing connections between people all along.

The Turning Point from the Era of Emotion to the Era of Efficiency

However, times have changed.

From fax to email, and from email to LINE. As the means of communication became digitized, the distance between people changed as well.

Efficiency, time performance, and cost performance.
Before I knew it, these words had taken over the world.

But I often wonder,If we chase efficiency so much, what will be left?

Chapter 2: Company Dissolution and the Despair of Those Days

Approaching 40: The Reality of Finding a Job After the Earthquake

The company I had worked at for 17 years dissolved just as I was approaching 40.

In post-earthquake Japan, finding a new job as a middle-aged man was a pipe dream. I sent out dozens of entry sheets with no response. Even when I made it to an interview, I was told every day that there were no workplaces where I could utilize my experience.

I still cannot forget the despair of those days.

The heavy feeling the moment I woke up in the morning. The guilt I felt when looking at my family. The sleepless nights filled with anxiety about the future.

Even so, I had my family. I had no choice but to live.

I have to do this to survive.

This thought alone kept burning within me.

I did everything, and yet I survived.

Since then, I have done various jobs just to get by. Office work, accounting, light labor, part-time jobs. I can count on one hand the number of times things went well.

But,I learned firsthand that there are other ways to live and that people can still survive.I learned this through my own experience.

Now, as a freelancer, I am diving into things I have never experienced before. I don't know if that is the right answer or not.

But lately, I often wonder, is there really a right answer to life?

Chapter 3: What 'Writing' Taught Me

The One Weapon That Supported Me Through Lonely Nights

Why do I write on note?

The reason is simple. Because 'writing' is the only thing that has always helped me.

Whether it's a diary, social media, or a notepad. During painful times, lonely nights, or mornings when I couldn't sleep from anger, I have calmed myself by putting everything into words.

When you put things into words, something mysterious happens.

Confused emotions get organized. Feelings that couldn't be expressed take shape. And, I can look at myself objectively, thinking, 'So this is what I was thinking.'

The Asset Called 'Empathy'

And now, I hope that if I can convey even a little bit of 'I understand' to someone who is in the same kind of pain, that would be enough.

What I realized after starting note was that 'empathy' has immeasurable value.

Every time I get a 'like' or a 'comment,' I feel that I am not alone. And I can believe that my experience might be useful to someone else.

This was a 'richness' on a different dimension from economic success.

Chapter 4: The Choice to 'Live with Deep Compassion'

A Quiet Resistance to an Efficiency-Driven Society

As the world becomes obsessed with 'efficiency, time performance, and cost performance,' I am consciously choosing a different path.

In a harsh world where people are indifferent, I at least want to live with deep compassion.

This is not just an ideal. It is a belief close to conviction, rooted in the 'reality of human activity' I learned during my time as a FAX customer engineer.

The True Power of 'Compassion'

If you pursue efficiency, time is certainly shortened. Costs are also reduced.

However, there are things lost in that process.

That is 'human connection'.

When I was repairing fax machines, the lady who served me tea was certainly 'inefficient.' But how much did those five minutes of conversation create?

Trust, a sense of security, a sense of belonging, and a reason for living.

These things can never be created through efficiency.

The Possibility of an 'Economy of Affection'

Recently, I have started thinking about the term 'economy of affection'.

This is a system of value creation based on human relationships and emotional connections, distinct from money or material value.

For example, my activities on note. The direct revenue might be small. But there are people who read, people who empathize, and people who occasionally leave comments.

This 'connection' itself holds immeasurable value for me.

Chapter 5: 'True Wealth' Seen from the Reality of Caregiving and Child-rearing

In days that cannot be measured by numbers

My current life, objectively speaking, can by no means be called blessed.

Caring for my father, who is bedridden with terminal cancer, and my mother, who has dementia. Dealing with my daughter who has developmental disabilities. And a household budget that is always on the edge.

But in this situation, I have realized something.

True wealth cannot be measured by numbers—that is what I have realized.

What my father taught me

I think about it every time I care for my bedridden father.

When I was a child, this man worked from early morning until late at night to support our family. We were never wealthy, but he poured more than enough love into us.

Now, the strength of my father's hand as he holds mine is weak. But in that hand, his entire life is contained.

If there is a society that calls this “unproductive,” then that society is the one that is wrong.

The “Different Perspective” I Learned from My Daughter

My daughter, who has a developmental disability, lives in a world unrelated to general societal “efficiency.”

However, she possesses a unique sensitivity. She is deeply moved by small things that others overlook and discovers beauty that no one else notices.

Perhaps not being “normal” is actually the greatest talent of all.

Chapter 6: “Another Way of Living” Proposed by the Lost Generation

A Philosophy of Life That Values Non-Quantifiable Worth

We, the first generation of the Lost Generation/Ice Age, were certainly a generation not blessed economically.

But because of that, we have become sensitive to values that cannot be quantified.

Human kindness, the warmth of connections, the power of empathy, and the importance of supporting one another.

We know the value of these things through our own experiences.

The Value of a “Labyrinthine Life”

I describe myself as a “middle-aged freelancer who has been helped and kept alive by the people around me in the maze of life.”

A life like a maze is certainly inefficient. There is a lot of waste. But there is scenery that can only be seen because it is a maze.

People you wouldn't meet on a straight path. Treasures you can only discover because of the detours. The truly important things you notice when you stop at a dead end.

All of these are my “assets.”

The Potential of a Middle-Aged Freelancer

Now, I am taking on various challenges as a freelancer.

It is all new to me, and there are many failures. But the “on-site capability” I cultivated during my time as a FAX customer engineer is being put to use.

“There is no training. You have to learn it yourself.” This experience has become my current weapon.

I cannot compete with younger people in terms of efficiency or specialized skills. However, "an eye for observing human activity," "a warm-hearted attitude," and "empathy"—
these are strengths that only we, who have walked a long and labyrinthine life, possess.

Chapter 7: A Future Connected by "Writing"

The potential of the platform called note

Why am I so committed to note?

It is because note is a platform that prioritizes "empathy" over "efficiency."

Rather than going viral, it is about striking a deep chord.
Rather than being spread, it is about being read thoroughly.
Rather than the number of followers, it is about the quality of connections.

This is exactly the form of communication our generation has been seeking.

The value of "progress reports"

My note is a "progress report on life."

It is not cool, nor does it contain success stories. But it conveys in real-time that "there are other ways to live" and "even so, people can keep on living."

This holds a value completely different from polished self-help books or business books.

It has a persuasive power precisely because it is a "story currently in progress."

Solidarity with my generation, passing the torch to the younger generation

To those of my generation, I offer empathy: "I understand." To the younger generation, I offer a realization: "So that's what that era was like."

And to people of all generations, I want to convey the message: "There is no single right answer in life. But there is meaning in continuing to walk."

Chapter 8: The True Meaning of "Unwavering and Straight"

A life that is beautiful precisely because it is not perfect

"Unwavering and straight"

I interpret these words in my own unique way.

It does not mean "never wavering perfectly."

“To keep cherishing what you want to cherish as a human being” is what it means.

Things I have continued to cherish

• Love for family (even if sometimes clumsy)

• Compassion for others (without seeking anything in return)

• Empathy for the vulnerable (because I am one too)

• Hope for a better tomorrow (even if it is small)

• Expressing honest feelings (even if poorly)

I never let go of these, no matter how difficult the situation.

Even at the cost of social status or economic success, I protected this 'core' above all else.

I believe this is the true meaning of being 'unwavering and straight'.

The aesthetics of imperfection

My life is scarred and far from perfect.

But it is precisely within that imperfection that there is a deep flavor that others cannot imitate.

Even while covered in mud, I kept standing on my own two feet. When I fell, I stood up again. Even when I was lost, I never stopped walking.

This fact is the pride of us in the Lost Generation.

Final Chapter: A Story That Isn't Over Yet

Born in January 1974, I am now 51 years old. The story of us, the first generation of the Lost Generation ice age, is not over yet.

In fact, perhaps the real part is just beginning.

What we can do because of who we are

As quiet resistors to an efficiency-driven society. As advocates for an economy of emotion. As evangelists for values that cannot be quantified.

And above all, as proof that “people can still live on.”

A gift to the next generation

We must not let the hardships we experienced end as mere complaints or self-deprecating jokes.

I believe it is our mission to sublimate them into “wisdom” and pass them on to the next generation.

“There is no single right answer in life. But there is meaning in continuing to walk.”

Let us prove this truth through the way we live our lives.

Afterword: To my readers

Thank you so much for reading this far.
This article is a summary of my feelings at this point in time.

If you are of the same generation, I wonder if you thought, “That’s right, we’ve worked hard too.”

If you are of a younger generation, I wonder if you felt, “There are ways of living that aren’t just about efficiency.”

If you are lost in life, I wonder if you felt, “I can still start over,” or “It’s not too late.”

Our experiences are never in vain.

And they will continue to create value from here on out.

EX-FAX-CE
Former FAX CE, current freelance middle-aged person, born January 1974

“Unwavering and Straight”

Let’s walk together.

If you felt something after reading this article, I would be happy if you could leave a like or a comment. Just the fact that you are watching and reading
is enough to make me feel alive.

And if you would like to read more, please let me know your expectations for the next article. Your reactions are the source of my strength to write.

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EX-FAX-CE | Note Writer
Unwavering and Straight
▶ What is EX-FAX-CE▶ Lost Generation Derailment Studies　▶ Momentary Eternity　▶ Critical Point of Laughter
X: @zdocomo / note:/exfaxce
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