Learning from my first-year middle school daughter: Sorry, Thank you, and Band-Aids.

My daughter is in her first year of middle school.

Due to a lack of energy and stamina, she sometimes goes into 'I don't want to go to school' mode, but she is basically having a peaceful middle school life. She is also working hard in her club activities.

When I see her at school events and the like, her relationships with her friends seem good. She also seems to get along well with the upperclassmen in her club and is well-liked by them.

According to her, 'I'm shy at first, but since I'm an extrovert, I can get along with anyone.' Coming from someone like me who spent my middle school years as an introvert, that's an enviable personality.

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The other day, I don't remember how it came up, but I was talking with my children about how 'if you can honestly say "I'm sorry" and "thank you," your relationships will go well.' It's something I try to keep in mind myself.

Then, my daughter said this.

'I know, right! Even at school, when I'm pushing through a crowd, I say "Sorry, sorry," and even for little things, I say "Thank you, thank you."'

Of course, I thought, 'That's a good attitude!' but it's an expression I can't help but want to tease her about.

--Hey, you say that in English?

Daughter: 'Yeah, that's right! Everyone says it quite a bit.'

Is that so?

Apparently, for "Sorry (up), sorry (down)," she does a chopping gesture with her hand, pronouncing the first 'sorry' from low to high and the next 'sorry' from high to low. Is it some kind of gag? (Like 'I'm sorry, beard sorry' or something...)

It seems "Thank you (up), thank you (down)" is pronounced the same way. Is saying it twice the standard?

Thinking that middle schoolers communicate like that when they want someone to move out of the way or when someone hands them something is kind of funny.

Certainly, it's lighter and more rhythmic than Japanese, and maybe it can be said with a playful (?) nuance.

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In the flow of conversation, I heard another interesting thing.

My daughter is the type who brings extra of everything (she has a lot of luggage for field trips and travels), and she apparently keeps about 30 Band-Aids in her school pouch at all times (isn't that way too many?).

She started keeping them on hand because she often falls and scrapes her knees or pulls at hangnails herself (and it's a hassle to go to the nurse's office every time).

So, for example, if a classmate says,

"Oh, I cut my finger on paper!" (That hurts, right?)

she immediately says,

Daughter: "Here, have a Band-Aid."

and hands one over.

Recently, her classmates have caught on, and when they ask, "Hey, do you have a Band-Aid?"

Daughter: "I do!"

and handing them out has become a routine. She even dares to give character-themed Band-Aids to boys (the kind everyone gets a kick out of).

It sounds like she could have a catchphrase like "The quick-with-a-Band-Aid girl."

And when I asked more about it, I learned that it's not just my daughter's Band-Aids; there are other exchanges of "give and take" even without official roles, like asking Person B when an illustration is needed, or Person C to lead the huddle.

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Listening to such stories, I realized that my daughter is enjoying her school life not just because of her self-proclaimed outgoing personality, but because the class atmosphere is good. I had felt this during previous events as well.

That must be because they properly call out to each other even for trivial things (even if the way they say it makes you laugh) and because each of them is capable of small "acts of service." Plus, they share who is good at what, and they seem to understand what is expected of them.

I think that is actually quite amazing. Especially since it's adolescence, when communication tends to become superficial. Depending on the atmosphere, I think standing out or being kind can be embarrassing or something people hold back on.

It must be something they have built up by sharing joys and sorrows in class over the eight months since April. Of course, the guidance from the teachers and the school's relaxed atmosphere also have a significant influence.

Listening to stories about my daughter's class, I thought there is so much that we adults can learn from them.

For starters, maybe I'll try using "sorry, sorry" at work too (though people might think I'm just being silly).

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Thank you very much for reading until the end ♩

There really is so much that children teach us. Middle schoolers are still so cute and funny.

***Added on 2024/12/24***