Don't "Translate" English!? The True Meaning of "No, thank you." I Learned in Australia

Hello! I'm Kumi, an English coach who helps you "make your dreams come true through the power of English."

Today, I'd like to share a personal failure story—one that was embarrassing but taught me a lot—about how "English-to-Japanese translation and Japanese-to-English translation actually have completely different meanings." Before we get to the main topic...

Speaking of "English-to-Japanese translation and Japanese-to-English translation having different meanings," this word also comes to mind.

That is "tabun" (probably) and "Maybe."

This is one of the words that can actually be a dangerous pitfall in both business and private life.
*Of course, it depends on the individual!!! Generally speaking...

• Japanese "tabun": About 80-90% probability. We tend to use it with the nuance of "I'm almost certainly going, but just in case."
  

• English "Maybe": About 50% (fifty-fifty) or less probability. It has a nuance closer to "I'll go if I can (don't get your hopes up)."

I often used to wonder, when someone said "maybe" to me, "Huh? Why aren't they coming?" ^^;

Well, there are many other cases in English where communication doesn't go well if you take things "literally."

For all of you studying English, today I'm going to tell you a story about the "hidden side of words" that I experienced.

My first time abroad, meeting my best friend Marion

It happened when I first went abroad and was staying in Australia.
At the time, I had a very close German friend named Marion.

Our English was still shaky, and we had only just begun to open up to each other.
Yes, this was back in the days before smartphones and the internet 💦 We always had paper dictionaries in hand during our conversations, but our hearts were definitely connecting... Marion was the first person other than a Japanese person with whom I was able to feel that.


And this is what happened the first day I visited Marion's house.

She stood in the kitchen and asked me this.

I reflexively answered just as I would have in Japan.

She asked me back, "Are you sure?" but I repeated the same words once more.

[Quiz] What do you think happened after this?

Here is a question for everyone.
How do you think the German woman reacted to me saying, "I don't need anything, I'm fine"?

1. "No, no, don't be shy," and she brings out a drink.

2. "Well then, at least have some snacks," and she brings out snacks.

3. "I see, you don't want anything right now," and neither of us has a drink.

With the Japanese sense of "kekkou desu" (no thank you), you would expect 1 or 2, right?
So, what is the answer...?

The shocking conclusion: In her hands as she returned from the kitchen was...

The answer was none of the above.

The correct answer was,
"She returned from the kitchen with only her own tea and snacks."
!

Watching her drink her tea so happily right in front of me, I screamed in my heart:

"If that was the case, I should have just said 'yes' from the start!!! (crying)"

The decisive difference between "Kekkou desu" and "No, thank you"

At this moment, I felt it keenly. Although dictionaries translate both as "No, thank you," the "culture" behind them is completely different.

Japanese "Kekkou desu"

It contains a sense of "restraint" or "humility," thinking that it might be pushy to say "yes" immediately to someone's kindness. It has a ritualistic aspect where it is considered good manners to accept only after being offered two or three times. (Of course, the intensity varies depending on the situation.)

English "No, thank you"

Literally, it is an expression of intent that you do not need something. At the same time, it also conveys gratitude for the offer. Since it is a culture that respects the other person's will, it is sometimes considered "rude" to force something on someone who has declined.

Of course, it depends on the situation and the person, but if you don't know this "premise behind the words," you might end up feeling lonely (lol) like I did.

The "desire to understand the other person" is more important than a dictionary

What I learned from this experience is that a dictionary is not the only thing you need to interpret English.

• What is the other person's culture like?

• What kind of mindset do they have?

I realized that the desire to know these things is what true "communication" is all about.

By the way, by the time she finished her first cup, she asked me again.

My answer this time was, without hesitation, this!

Quote of the day

By the way, I am still in touch with Marion. She is a comrade-in-arms with whom I shared the frustration of "not being able to speak English well," a person of precious memories, and a best friend I hope to see again someday.

The connections made through English transcend time and place; they are always intriguing, vast, fun, and dear.

If you are studying English...
Your new English communication starts not "when you can speak it someday," but from today's small realization.

Don't be afraid of failure, and let's enjoy cultural differences!

English Coach Kumi

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