9 | What was my resolve in choosing 'him' despite the criticism?

Hello everyone. I'm Yururun😊

I am sharing the story of realizing my true self (the two little Yururuns) and
healing that child, titled 'We Who Are Bad at Relying on Others'🌸🌸
as a series.

Today is Episode 9
(I will summarize the previous episodes in a magazine at the end).

Reflecting on the Enneagram and him🌸

Actually, I struggled quite a bit while writing this,
and I was hesitant...

But... I decided to take the plunge and write it✒️

😮 Is this fate?

I met him through work🌸

At first, I saw him as just one of my colleagues
whom I respected for being knowledgeable and calm.

The 'Enneagram' that he taught me

It was something I learned for the first time.
It was very intriguing.

Up until then,
I often felt intimidated by men
who tried to make themselves look bigger,

but he was surprisingly honest and
his true self was someone who laid it all bare🍀

As we went golfing with colleagues from work
and talked about private matters,
I realized something and shuddered.

'This person... is exactly like my sister'

Looking like a calm 'Winnie the Pooh,'
he actually had very dramatic emotional waves and
a side that lived in the stories of the past.

That was the very nature of
'Type 4' in the Enneagram.

Could it be that God
sent him to me to help me understand my sister?

I couldn't help but feel a sense of
destiny so strong that I had to think that✨

💍 A choice of resolve and 21 years of time

However, my journey with him
was by no means smooth.

When we first met, he was in the middle of divorce mediation—the rough seas of life.

From the perspective of conventional wisdom, my choice might have been a target for criticism.

My parents, naturally, vehemently opposed it.

I myself struggled intensely.

(If I want to have children, I might be at my limit in terms of age...)

After talking it over with him, he, being older, gave me his answer:
'I do not wish for children.'

Is he really the right person for me?...

As the seven years until the official divorce passed, I asked myself over and over again.

I even consulted my grandmother, who was in a care facility, when I visited her.

My grandmother's answer was this:

"You must not blame him. He is the person you chose. I believe in you.

.

If you treat him well, things will work out.
"

Even my parents didn't say that to me.

Warm and powerful words❣️ They gave me a strong push forward✨✨✨

When I realized that, an unshakable resolve was born within me.

'I will live my life with this person. That is the lesson of my life.'

❣️ Being happy now is the greatest act of filial piety.

It has been 21 years since I registered our common-law marriage at the municipal office.

I still feel a corner of my heart heavy with regret for not having a wedding ceremony,
and for not being able to show them the faces of their grandchildren.

However, I have never once regretted this path I chose for myself.

Walking the path I chose with happiness—I believe that is

my own way of showing filial piety✨

🕊️ A journey of taking off the armor and living as my true self

Learning about the Enneagram has made me feel so much more at ease 🌸🌸

My sister has her own world view, and he has his,
a world view they cherish.

When I respected that and stopped measuring them by my own yardstick,
my heart felt a little lighter 😊

How much does the assumption that 'I am right' hurt others?

Each family member has their own,unique 'world view'.

It is

a landscape that belongs only to that person,shaped by the environment they grew up in and their essential temperament.

Instead of forcing my own 'correctness' on others,

I try to imagine what kind of landscape the other person is seeing.

I feel as though the wisdom of the Enneagram
has delivered me a 'ticket to that world view'.

Currently, I

have started talking about the Enneagram on the audio streaming platform 'Stand.fm'
out of a desire to share this learning.

The journey of self-understanding and understanding others continues even now.

🌸 Finally

And, in the process of trying to cast off this 'armor',
a further change occurred within me.

It was the awakening of the 'true me' that I had kept sealed away for many years.

Next time, the final installment of this series.

I encountered through my interactions with
the creators on note,

I will share the story of my dialogue with my inner 'Chibi-Yuru' and the healing that followed.

🍀Thank you for reading until the end🍀

▼All previous episodes starting from Chapter 1 are here

◆For your reference, books I have studied

※I am using Amazon Associate links.