The core I found by stopping to look. Why I am once again focusing on 'family'

Hello everyone, it's Yururun😊
Thank you so much for coming by today as well🌸🌸

Since January of this year, I've been making music on Stand.fm and Suno, and in April I started
YouTube, spending my days feeling fulfilled as things I want to do✨ keep bubbling up one after another😊

However, while taking on various challenges, I felt that
“the things I want to do are scattered and
might be falling apart.”

So, I decided to
take a moment to look back at myself carefully, and I reread some of the articles I wrote when I first started on note.

The 'family' I arrived at once again🌸

When I returned to my starting point and thought about it deeply,
what emerged strongly in my heart was,

as expected, the theme of “family”🍀

Thinking back, there was the 20 years of caring for my mother,
and in the end, caring for her at home until she passed.

During that time, I also experienced the loss of my grandparents.
The ups and downs of family that had continued since my childhood,
conflicts and struggles with my sister……😔

That said,

It's just that, without a doubt,
the reason I exist in this world right now is thanks to my parents,

and by extension, because life has been passed down through generations of ancestors🌈

But, since I don't have children...
I wasn't able to fulfill the role of passing it on...

However,

even if my physical self disappears from this world someday,
“I definitely lived here”—I want to leave behind proof of that in some form.

Human relationships within a family,

something indescribable, different from friends or the workplace

While feeling both "fuzziness" and "joy"

the moment I think "thank you" 🌸🌸

the moment I think "I'm glad we're family" the moment I can think that

I hope that such feelings will increase in the world, even if just by one ──🌸🌸🌸

I have arrived at such a simple thought once again.

I myself have written about various conflicts with my family
here on this note.

(I have compiled them in a magazine👇)

Above all, the long-standing clashes with my younger sister were a major issue left within me.

My emotional support, the Enneagram

For me, what helped ease my stress and my relationships with my family
was the "
Enneagram" I learned about nearly 30 years ago.

Through the Enneagram,
knowing the differences in temperament of myself and each member of my family,

and through my interactions with everyone here on this note and
reading other people's articles,

the differences in perspectives that people focus on,
the differences in how various people feel and
express themselves, and so on..

I encountered sparkling treasures that I didn't have within myself✨
and it was very stimulating.

I believe that this also led to understanding people of types other than my own.

And

I felt like I understood her, thinking, "
Ah, maybe my sister's words and actions at that time were trying to express this."

I felt as if I had understood her.

Such
"family" and "Enneagram."

I would be happy if you could use them as hints
to reduce stress in human relationships🌸

Having said that...💦

A real, ongoing struggle🤔

Actually, just the other day,

I clashed with my younger sister💢

and right now, for the sake of both of us, we are drawing boundaries😞

Even for me, having studied this for many years,
just when I think I've taken a step forward, I stop again.

I am still struggling and wavering in real-time,

but I want to write down everything honestly, including those uncool parts of myself.

How do I apply the wisdom of the Enneagram to real life,
and how do I struggle with it—

That real trial and error,

if it can lead to a hint or a sense of relief for someone out there,
there is nothing that would make me happier.

This is the reason why I have decided to write on this note,
once again centering on "family" and the "Enneagram" as my core.

Origin: The day my mother suddenly collapsed😮

So, starting next time,
I intend to write down the story of that origin little by little.

First, I will start with "the time my mother suddenly collapsed," which was the trigger that completely changed my
values in life⚡,

and also the day that marked the beginning of 20 years of caregiving.

I plan to rewrite an article I wrote in the past, infusing it with the thoughts I want to convey once again, and share it with you.

Learning until I die...😊

Struggling, getting lost, and enjoying life every day—
That is who I am, and I want to share that real story just as it is.

I plan to write about it🌸

Please look forward to the next installment as well😊

🍀Thank you for staying with me until the end🍀