Are you choosing your own life? | My first note

This is sudden, but...
Are you able to choose your own life?

I, for one, couldn't do it at all in the past. Haha.

I'd like to write down a little bit about why I'm doing fortune-telling now.

Up until now, rather than asking myself,
“What do I want to do?”
I was always thinking things like,
“What will they think if I say this?”
“Will they dislike me?”

“Is this person angry?”

I spent all my time thinking about things like that.

Ever since I was old enough to understand, I think I've lived my whole life walking on eggshells around others.
My home environment wasn't exactly good, and I experienced bullying in elementary and junior high school.

There was even a time when I spent my school days in the infirmary. I also lived apart from my father when I was in junior high.

Of course, I have happy memories, too.

But until I started fortune-telling, whenever I looked back on the past, I only remembered the unpleasant things.
Thinking about it now, I think life was quite difficult for me.

But back then, that was normal.
What does it even mean to have “my own opinion”?

Even after becoming an adult, it was still like that.
It’s not that I didn't have a will of my own.

But it was like I had one, yet I didn't.
I walked the path laid out by my mother and went into nursing work just as I was told.

It wasn't like I chose it thinking, “This is what I want to do!”

But it was that nursing job that became the catalyst for changing my life.

The supervisors I respected always put the users first.
Even though I had no knowledge of nursing yet, they would always ask for my opinion,
“What do you think?”

At first, I thought,
“No, no, even if you ask me, I don't know.”
Haha.

But now, I think differently.
I think I’ve always been good at noticing small changes in people.
My supervisors recognized that in me.

Even when I felt down because I couldn't do my job well, they would tell me over and over,
“There is nursing care that only you can provide.”
Those words helped me get back on my feet many times.

As I interacted with users as a caregiver, I started to wonder,

What kind of life has this person lived?

What have they cherished?
What kind of things have they thought about while living?
I became more and more

fondof hearing those stories.Thinking back, I think I was already interested in


“people living in their own way”from around that time.
But I didn't understand myself.

After that, I quit nursing and worked as a service staff member at a wedding hall, and then in web advertising sales.


I got married, got pregnant, and gave birth.
And then I got divorced.

Back then, I kept thinking, “I want to change.”

But I was in a state where I felt,


“I can't change.”

“I don't know what to do.”
I was used to prioritizing others over myself, and I often thought it was better if I just endured it.
At that time, “fortune-telling” was close by.
A relative and their friend were working as fortune-tellers.

My cousin gave me tarot and oracle cards.

Really, that was it.

It wasn't like something incredibly huge happened.
It just started with,

“Maybe I'll try drawing a card.”




The one who changed the most after drawing the cards was me.

I would draw a card for myself and think while looking at the card that came up.

Then, I started to notice more and more,“Oh? I actually felt this way.”There were times I realized,

“I actually wanted to do this.”

I, who could only resent past events, started to be able to think,

“Because of that experience, I am who I am today.”


Sacrificing myself for someone else also gradually decreased.

When choosing something, instead of thinking,
“What will everyone think?”I started to think more and more,

“What do I want to do?”


Of course, it didn't change all at once.
There were times I doubted, “Is this really okay?”
There were times I thought I might go back to how I was.

But you know,It was really little by little, but
it became easier to breathe.



I still remember that feeling even now.

And so, I started fortune-telling for others.


Since my best friend from junior high loved fortune-telling, I started drawing cards as a hobby.

When I did that, people would say,
“Oh, that's true. It's spot on.”“What you said before was right!”When I conveyed what I felt or what I received from the cards, I would sometimes be told,

“I feel a bit lighter.”

That, too, was just a tiny catalyst at first.


Receiving the cards. Drawing a card for myself. Reading for a friend. Someone feeling a little lighter.

At the time, I never thought it would lead to where I am now.
But looking back now, I think,

the catalyst for changing one's life might actually be these small things.


That is why I do fortune-telling.

I don't just want to predict the future.

What kind of life has that person lived?

What have they felt?

What have they cherished?

And,

what do they really want to do?

I want to look at that together with them.

Instead of deciding the answer by saying, “You should do this,”

I want to think together, asking,

“What do you want to do?”

Because the old me couldn't answer that question.

So now, I want to create time for someone to find their own feelings.

If you are currently thinking,

“Every day is kind of tough.”

“I want to change, but I don't know what to do.”

“What do I really want to do?”

I don't think you need to come up with an answer right away.

Just stop for a moment and take a peek into your own heart.

Just doing that can sometimes make it a little easier to breathe.

Take a deep breath for your heart through fortune-telling.

This is the reason why I do fortune-telling.

Here, I intend to write not just about fortune-telling, but also about how to face others, how to face yourself, and things I've felt while living my own life, little by little from now on.

If you think,

“I'd like to hear more of this person's story,”

please come visit again.

On my official LINE account, I send out messages to help you feel a little lighter,
though it's irregular.
I also occasionally offer trial fortune-telling, so feel free to add me 🪞