The difficulty of leaving memberships.

Memberships are hard to leave.
It's a common experience, isn't it?

If it's a membership with thousands of people where the goal is mostly gathering information, it's easy to leave and easy to join again. (Though even then, there's a bit of internal conflict.)

However, in places with fewer than 100 people, I feel like they would notice if I left.

Should I express my gratitude when I leave?

I want to, personally.

There was a membership I left quietly in the past because I thought that no matter what I said when leaving, it might be seen as just making excuses.

But later on, I regretted not just sending a quick DM.

Note is also about people connecting with people. Everything is free for both sides, and it's free to think what you want or associate with whom you choose.

That's exactly why I ended up overthinking things.

For example, I'd feel sad if I sent a DM and the conversation ended abruptly or was ignored.

But then again, the other person might not be thinking anything at all.

It's fine to feel sad, but expecting something from the other person is selfish.

I'm just overthinking everything. But that's who I am, so it can't be helped.

This time, I've decided to leave most of my memberships for the time being to prioritize my family time even more.

And since they have really taken such good care of me and supported me so much,

I'm going to summon the courage to send them a DM.

Saka-sensei, who used to be a member and would occasionally like my posts on X even months after canceling.

I was surprised.

I was so happy about that feeling that there were times I wanted to join again, and I did.

Practicing the gray area.

Human relationships aren't just black or white.

It's not just about loving or hating someone.

For myself, it's not just about being liked or disliked.

My feelings toward others also change from day to day.

As for how others feel about me, that is their emotion, so it changes daily and cannot be controlled.

Let's be more casual.

I am who I am, and I am living as myself.

This is how I want to live and how I want to interact with others.

While cherishing that purity, I want to continue enjoying my note life even more.

To be honest, I had the urge to delete my account again.

For about the last week.

But I realized that I don't want to delete this place, where all of you are—including all the different versions of myself—and where you continue to stay and support me.

From now on, while continuing to cherish my time at home.

And while continuing to cherish my time in this note community.

I will walk my own path.

Even though I've never met most of you, I'm here with all of you whom I love so much.

Thank you, as always.

I'll write another article soon.