Diary of a 36-year-old woman (17) 'Pheasants and Meetings' #30

◼️ Self-introduction

36 years old, female.
Graduated from a national university in Tokyo.

I didn't have any particularly big dreams,
I just sort of got a job in the private sector and became a working professional.

I worked in the private sector in Tokyo for about four years,
and after that, I worked at a local city hall.

A record of my daily life.
A diary every day, columns on holidays, and travelogues from time to time.

◼️ Today's events 'Pheasants and Meetings'

About the meeting.

Today was the day of the meeting
that I had been preparing for for over a month.

It felt like a major hurdle.

It was a place where experts gathered to give their opinions.
Naturally, I was nervous.

A while after the meeting started,
my nervousness exceeded its limit.

Then, it happens sometimes.
The feeling that reality becomes a bit thin.

When I was a student, it happened during tests.
Since becoming a working professional, it happens during important phone calls and the like.

'Ah, it's here, this phase'
I think.

At such a time, for some reason today,
there was a pheasant in my head.

A pheasant.
Japan's national bird.

The males have a green or blue luster,
have red faces, and are surprisingly flashy.
But they are just normally found in grass or near fields.

Until quite recently,
I thought pheasants were like mythical birds.

Birds that only exist in folktales or proverbs.

I thought they existed in more special places,
in more dramatic forms.

But since early spring,
I've started seeing them often.

I've probably
seen about five of them since early spring.

Pheasants don't move that quickly.
So, you can observe them carefully.

You can tell when you watch them.

A pheasant walking slowly.
A pheasant moving with a steady rhythm.

They are each different.
Pheasants are cute.

Pheasants are surprisingly close by.

That fact felt somehow fresh to me.

In fact, pheasants,
in fields,
on footpaths,
on days when I'm tired and zoning out,
suddenly appear.

Quietly,
they are in ordinary places.

Here, I'll take a moment
to reflect on 'ordinary places'.

Perhaps the me who is in a meeting right now
cannot find a pheasant.

Efficiency.
Smoothness.
Optimization.

On weekdays, I
move aiming for those things.

I cannot stay in my weekend state.

In society,
people who can hide things well,
or people who can disclose things just enough,
those are the people who get by well in the world.

But,
without hiding,
without showing off,
just being there normally.

When I am in that state,
I feel like I can meet a pheasant.

The time I can meet a pheasant is on my day off.

The breeding season for pheasants
seems to be until around June.

Stay a little longer, pheasant.

Well then,
shall I finally return to reality (the meeting)?