[Illustration] How I Used 'Business Techniques' to Stop My Baby's Crying and Ended Marital Arguments | Putting to Sleep | Parenting | Business Frameworks

Hello, I'm a sales dad.

My 0-year-old son starts crying as if he's on fire, and at the same time, my 3-year-old daughter tries to get my attention by saying, 'Daddy, look at me!' At times like that, the priorities in my head get jumbled, and I find myself overwhelmed by impatience and a lack of composure.

To somehow survive this panic, I brought the 'task prioritization (payoff matrix)' used in business into my parenting.

However, after actually putting it into practice, I realized the obvious fact that 'parenting doesn't go according to business frameworks.'

This time, while introducing the 'Effectiveness x Speed Matrix for Putting to Sleep' that I created, I would like to write about the 'dangers and limitations' of bringing business logic into parenting, and 'the real reason why we still use frameworks.'

I tried classifying tasks for putting a baby to sleep into four categories

First, please take a look at the matrix I created using the two axes of 'effectiveness' and 'speed (ease)' for responding to crying.

• Quadrant 1 (Quick to do, high effectiveness): Pacifier, white noise, checking diapers

• Quadrant 2 (Takes time, but high effectiveness): Milk/nursing, walking with a baby carrier

• Quadrant 3 (Quick to do, but low effectiveness): Patting, talking to them

• Quadrant 4 (Takes time, but low effectiveness): Long squats without a baby carrier, etc.

At first glance, it looks like an 'efficient operation' has been logically organized. However, this had a fatal weakness.

The 'three walls' that business frameworks face in parenting

When I tried to implement this matrix with a smug look on my face, I immediately faced the following reality.

1. 'Effectiveness' changes every day, every second

Unlike business tasks, a baby is not a machine. 'White noise in the first quadrant that stopped the crying in one second yesterday' can easily move to the 'fourth quadrant with zero effect' today. Trying to fit them into a fixed matrix was just a selfish human convenience that ignored the baby's complex individual differences.

2. Quadrant classification is nothing more than 'the adult's physical convenience'

For example, 'walking with a baby carrier' versus 'squatting without a baby carrier.' I classify the former as highly effective and the latter as less effective, but from the baby's perspective, both might be equally pleasant swaying. This was simply a matter of parental convenience—it's easier to be effective because the parent doesn't get tired and can keep it up for a long time.

3. The gradation of attachment formation that 'efficiency' steals

If you view parenting as a 'project' and become obsessed with how quickly you can stop the crying (achieving KPIs), you will fall into a major trap.

The 'time that looks like a waste' or 'inefficient interaction' in child-rearing—for example, the time spent just clumsily holding your crying child—is never a waste; it is the very soil that forms the parent-child bond. The logic of efficiency, 'how quickly can I make them stop crying,' sometimes denies this precious time.

Even so, the reason we have a matrix

So, is this matrix meaningless?

Even so, I believe this framework is effective as a 'primary shelter to prevent panic.'

When a parent's brain freezes after being bombarded by the intense alert of crying, before you blindly panic thinking, 'What should I do, what am I doing wrong?' or lash out in frustration at your partner, just having a mental anchor that says, 'For now, let's start with Plan A'creates a small amount of 'breathing room' in the parent's mind.

This framework is not a manual for efficiently controlling your baby. It is a safety device for us parents to keep from losing ourselves in an emergency.

Once you regain some breathing room in your heart, you can just throw the matrix away.

I strongly feel that I want to treat the framework strictly as a tool to create 'mental space' and face the crying life in front of me in my own clumsy way.

Thank you for reading until the end!