(31) Having books piled up since age 5 was the shortest route to becoming a 'child who reads' - To the mom I met 10 years ago -

Continuing the letter.

“Establish a habit of 'reading' with books at home before getting immersed in digital media”
...is what I am talking about.


Until the lower grades of elementary school, children can spend time happily at home even without videos or games.
Putting aside the ideas of “everyone is watching” or “it’s that kind of era” for a moment...
I want to cherish the time when they can easily encounter the joy of reading.


- Click here for letter (30).
(30) Living with 'piled-up books' since age 5 was the shortest route to becoming a 'child who reads' - To the mom I met 10 years ago - | Emi Suzuhara (note.com)


Today is

“Things I decided as a parent NOT to do for the sake of a child who reads”

...is the topic.


Now, Shiori-san.
This letter is also nearing its end.

So far, I have talked at length about what I have felt over the past 10 years.
Most of it was about what I did to help my child love books, or
suggestions of “things I think you should do.”

Although I have experience in publishing, I am now just a housewife who loves books.
Therefore, these suggestions are nothing more than
“This is how it was for us, try it if you like.”

Even so, among these, there is something I have seriously decided, with my own conviction,
“I will not do this” .

That is,

“Not letting the child become a captive of digital media at an early stage”

... is the thing.

Actually, to make my child love books, I was planning to recommend that as a parent, “you should show yourself reading too.”
—However, I realized something even more important than that .


Specifically, I was careful about the following things in our daily life.

(1) Not letting thembecome captives of games at an early stage
(2) Not incorporatingvideo viewing into our home culture at an early stage
(3) Not givinga parent's smartphone as a tool to kill time when out and about
(4) When a parent uses a smartphone in front of the child, tell them that you are doing necessary “communication” or “research.”
Not letting the child see you using it for entertainment .

—I cannot and will not confidently tell dads and moms who are doing real-life parenting to “please try this.”
I have no intention of denying or criticizing anything.
I think each way of parenting is fine.

This is simply something that I
have personally cherished . Therefore, I want to convey this to you, Shiori-san, who wishes to “make your child love books.”

I did this
not because I dislike digital media . It is just

“It is fine for the child to encounter digital media after they have come to love books”

...is the one idea I had.

And I had one particular confidence.
It was not the confidence that I was doing wonderful parenting. I have never had such a thing. It was just

“The confidence that books are absolutely interesting, they really are!”

...that.

And, a living organismwith a developing brain and body like a child will surely
“work out better if theylearn to read before watching videos or playing games”
—that was my feeling.

—That was all.

Therefore, as I have talked about, I first read many books together with my eldest daughter from the age of 5 when she started learning hiragana, and explored the “types of books she seemed to like.” In that way, I collected books of the genres she seemed to like.

Of course, we couldn't just read books at home all the time, sowe watched plenty of children's TV programs, anime, and movies .

Sometimes people asked me,“Aren't internet videos and TV programs or anime the same kind of visual media? What's the difference?” but I feel they arecompletely different things .

Internet videos give children a sense of omnipotence. At least that is what I felt. A sharp child will quickly understand the mechanism and try to enter a world thatexpands infinitely .

Also, children's programs, anime, and movies have astopping point that even children can understand, saying “that's it for today,” and as long as they are made for children, they havea certain educational value or message .

There are good things on internet videos too, but once a child learns how to operate them, there is a danger ofreaching things that you as a parent “would rather not have them see” .
And I thought thatonce they know about them, they will want them, and if the parent restricts them, stress will be born there... .


Regarding becoming addicted to videos or games in early childhood, I have sometimes seen opinions on TV and such saying,
“It's normal these days, isn't it pitiful not to give children what adults are also enjoying?” (I have never been told this by anyone close to me).

—However, I never felt that my children were pitiful.

Because they don't know about them... even if they knew about them as knowledge, they don't feel close to them, so the children don't think anything of it.
At home, there areplenty of movies and anime to choose from, and many books that match their interests and age, so that is enough . There were times when I recorded their favorite E-Tele programs every day and played them endlessly for half a day (whether that is good or not is another matter).

Even so, if they made a fuss... it wasn't because they were starving for digital entertainment.It's because they are children. No matter what you do, there is no such thing as perfect parenting ...

It was an everyday occurrence for siblings to argue because their hobbies were different, but while playing music, letting them use sticker books, doing crafts, origami, or blocks, and just getting by, time would pass.


And what I felt while spending every day was

Up until about the second grade of elementary school, the influence of the home is significant no matter what anyone says

...That is what I mean.

If there is no habit of enjoying video streaming or games at home, children feel that 'those things are nothing special'.
Even if they see other children being given their parents' smartphones to watch videos while out and about,if their own parents aren't doing it, they won't say 'Me too!' (that was the case for us).
I didn't do it (basically) because I knew that if I did, there was a high probability they would say 'Me too!'.


Also, for lower elementary school students, playing in the park is the main activity after school, and even if they spend time at a children's center, there are almost no games or video streaming in such places, so there are still few opportunities to actively come into contact with digital media.
Even if they are given one computer per person at school, if they have the mindset at home that it is strictly for learning, they won't think to play with it.


Therefore, once you as a parent decide'not to let them come into contact with games or videos early on'
, you won't feel any particular inconvenience, and you can spend time relatively calmly (though not entirely)—at least, without the help of digital devices. After all, everyone used to do that in the past.


--So, regarding what I mentioned at the beginning:

(1) Do not make them a captive of games at an early stage

(2) Do not incorporate video streaming into the home culture at an early stage

...What on earth does
'early stage' mean?

Personally, I really think it means'early childhood'.
And, I supposeat least until about the 2nd or 3rd grade of elementary school...

Furthermore, regarding the part about 'it's fine for children to come into contact with digital media after they have come to love books,' you might also think,
'what exactly is the standard for knowing that a child has come to love books?'.

Of course, there is no clear answer to this.
Still, in our home, as a result of observing our children, I was able to feel
'Ah, they have come to love books...'.

That is,

(1)Books that are mainly text (children's books) have come to be read daily according to their age.
(2) When they are at home and have free time,they have started to pick up books and read them on their own.
(3) (If they are elementary school students)they have started to choose and borrow books from the school library by themselves.
(4) When asked 'What kind of book are you reading now?', they can tell me in their own words (they have become able to communicate through books as parent and child).
(5)'I want to read a book like this,' 'I want you to buy this for me'
they have started to express their own interests regarding books.
(6)they have become happy when I say 'Let's go to the bookstore or library'.


...When it reached this point, I felt that 'a drawer for reading has been firmly built in their hearts' and 'they have developed reading muscles'.


However, some people might say, 'Since they will become people who can master digital technology in the future anyway, isn't it the same if they were exposed to smartphones and games from early childhood...?'
I don't know if that opinion is correct or wrong, and I am not in a position to respond to it.

But I,

think that if you give a computer or smartphone to a child who has read a lot of books until about age 10, they will master it with surprising speed.

...That is what I think.

Children are truly creatures withmiraculous flexibility. I have expectations for what kind of foundation they have built up until that point.


Smartphones and games are attractive things for children, aren't they?
If they experience them in early childhood, they will become obsessed.
A little bit might be fine, but if it piles up, it seems likely to lead to dependence or addiction. The earlier it is, the less the logic of 'too much is bad' will get through, right...?


For a child, isn't it painful to be scolded to 'keep to the time' after being given it and coming to love it...?


--For that reason, in our home, I have built the 'relationship between children and reading' based on the ideas of:
'Do not make children a captive of digital media at an early stage'
'It is fine for children to come into contact with digital media after they have come to love books'
...


And all of this is, of course, not because I was fired up to 'make my children smart!'not because I was fired up to 'make my children smart!'
It was just something I worked on out of my own belief in books that 'books are one of humanity's greatest forms of entertainment'.'books are one of humanity's greatest forms of entertainment' - my own belief in books I want to pass on to my children the things that are fun for me; that is the basic idea.

Besides, it's not that I don't give them games or videos.

I just pushed back the time for giving them by two or three years.

--Looking back, for the three years or so from when my eldest daughter was about five, there might have been moments where I thought it might have been a little easier if I had relied on digital media...

But once you get past it, it's over in a flash,

In the context of a child's entire life, it's just a fleeting moment in their early childhood.

If you compare a child's longlife to a single day, I now think it might have been just a momentary effort, like hugging them when they wake up in the morning and saying 'Good morning'....

So, I

am glad that I chose 'not to do it'

...is what I think now.

My children have become children who read books.
That said, children these days

No matter how much they love books, they won't become people who only read books (it would be amazing if they did).

In that respect, they will surely come to master smartphones, computers, social media, and ChatGPT. But within that, I think it is special to become a person who

'can also enjoy reading'

...is what I think.


--Thank you for reading this for so long.

Shiori-san, the next one is the last.

The letter continues.


<I'm glad you were born, and I'm glad books were born, you seven-year-old reading while rubbing your sleepy eyes>



・Click here for letter (1).
(1) Books piled up since age 5 were the shortest route to becoming a 'book-reading child' - To the mom I met 10 years ago - | Emi Suzuhara (note.com)



・Click here for letter (32).(32/Final) Books piled up since age 5 were the shortest route to becoming a 'book-reading child' - To the mom I met 10 years ago - | Emi Suzuhara (note.com)