(21) Having books on hand since age 5 was the shortest route to becoming a 'child who reads' - To the mom I met 10 years ago -

The letter continues.

“Before they get hooked on digital devices, build a habit of 'reading' with the books you have at home”
...is what I am talking about.

Until they are in the lower grades of elementary school, children can spend time happily at home without videos or games.
Setting aside the idea that “everyone is watching them” or “that’s just the era we live in”...
I want to cherish the time when they can easily encounter the joy of reading.

- Click here for letter (20).
(20) Living with 'books on hand' since age 5 was the shortest route to becoming a 'child who reads' - To the mom I met 10 years ago - | Emi Suzuhara (note.com)

Today is

“The mystery from early childhood solved by reading tendencies... This child is the 'XX type'”

...is what I will be talking about.

Now, Shiori-san.

What is your child most interested in, Shiori-san?
When do they seem the happiest?
When do you think, 'That is so like them'?

--Actually, I had a time when I couldn't quite figure this outwhile raising my first child.

Perhaps from when my eldest daughter was two... until she was about four.

For example, when playing with building blocks at home, even when I said,
“Go ahead, make whatever you like,” my eldest daughterwouldn't easily start moving her hands on her own.

She would stack them or do simple assembly, but even when I said, “You can use more, make something big, a castle, or whatever you like,” she would say,“...Mom, you make it!”

Similarly, with origami and drawing, she would be happy if I made or drew things for her, but she was a child who didn't really“freely and openly” create or draw on her own.

Also, for example, when I gave her something like a “sticker book where you can freely place animal stickers on a zoo picture,” she would repeatedly ask, “Where should I put them?” andif there was an example, she would try to place them exactly like that.

However, she did like reading picture books and reciting her favorite phrases over and over, or looking at jigsaw puzzles for toddlers and charts of hiragana or numbers.

...Writing this much, I realizethere were plenty of hints looking back now, but at the time, since it was my first time raising a child, I had these preconceived notions.

“Children should enjoy building blocks and drawing freely and openly.”
“Parents must nurture their child's creativity.”

...And yet, why is this child like this?

It wasn't that I was worried about developmental delays, but I had a slight sense of anxiety or dissatisfaction, wondering, “Why is that?”

"Mom doesn't like building castles with blocks. I want you to build and enjoy them, so why won't you play?" ...I may have said cold things like that out of frustration... I regret it.

--And in the meantime, my eldest daughter turned five.

She liked picture books and letters, and since she could read almost all hiragana, as I mentioned in letters (8) and (9), I went to the library to try and find 'the genre and tendencies of books this child likes,' asking 'Which book do you like?' and watching her read.

...And then,

in the meantime, I suddenly realized

it.

"Oh! This child isn't the creative, artistic type. She's the science-oriented, analytical, reproductive, information-gathering type."

...I don't have a hobby of dividing all of humanity into science-oriented or humanities-oriented, but if I had to say, my eldest daughter is science-oriented, and I realized that perhaps she 'likes to analyze the facts that exist in the world in her own way' rather than freely engaging in creative activities.

Thinking in terms of keywords, my eldest daughter's tendencies are

<Analysis, reproduction, information gathering, logic, theory> ...something like that.

--That was reflected in my eldest daughter's reading preferences.

At that time, I really let her read a lot of children's books (or rather, I presented them in front of her), but what made my eldest daughter's eyes light up and say 'This is interesting!' were mostly 'mystery solving,' 'quizzes,' 'mazes,' or 'stories and illustrated books using numbers and scientific knowledge' ...that was it.

--Thinking about it that way, there were hints even before our library visits.

When playing with building blocks, the way she would carefully observe the castle I made and then try hard to accurately reproduce the same thing.

When reading picture books, the way she would desperately and repeatedly recite trying to memorize 'what the hungry caterpillar ate on which day' (for a mother, it was a 'mysterious effort'...).

When we went to a restaurant as a family, the way she would earnestly count 'how many dozens of items were on the menu' rather than what she was going to eat...

My eldest daughter was a child who liked to analyze, memorize, and think about the things in front of her in her own way.

I had just mistaken that for being 'a bit strange'...

Seeing her engrossed in reading a story about a detective team solving a case from among the many children's books, I realized, 'So that was it...' and felt saved.

—Yes, the mystery was solved, and I felt relieved.

This also became a turning point in my parenting.
It was different from what I imagined... but it was wonderful!

From then on, I started to think about my eldest daughter's personality and traits as, 'Well, that's just how she is.' And I still do today.

Children... or rather, every single human being has their own personality and traits from birth, don't they?

That is

not about 'whether they are smart or not,' but 'what kind of person they are drawn to'

is what I believe it means.

A child who is good at physical activity and likes watching sports.
A child who loves music and sings and dances themselves.
A child who loves bugs and dinosaurs even though I never taught them.
A child who is friendly and loves taking care of babies.
A child who loves animals and says, 'When I grow up, I want to work at the zoo'...

What they like and what makes them excited may be influenced by their environment, but it is ultimately 'something that belongs only to that child' that even parents cannot intervene in.
There is talk that genetics also play a role, but... I don't know about that.

—Anyway, for me,
knowing 'what kind of things make my eldest daughter excited' was a huge, huge harvest in my parenting...!

And children are interesting; my second daughter (currently a second grader in elementary school), who grew up to be a 'free-spirited book lover' thanks to the unread books in our house, has a personality that doesn't resemble mine, my husband's, or my eldest daughter's at all.

She was a child who loved drawing and crafts, and would use building blocks and bricks quite freely to create masterpieces like 'a castle and the people who live in the town' (the exact opposite).

I think it's mysterious... and I even feel moved by the differences in the personalities of my children.

And as for her reading preferences, she doesn't show much interest in the 'wide variety of mysteries' that we have many of at home (what a waste...).

Instead, she prefers to read stories where she can 'feel the same way as the protagonist'... stories featuring elementary school boys and girls as the main characters.

She seems to like stories where everyone works together, deepens their friendships, solves problems that happen at school, or works hard at their studies and sports,

'I hope everyone can be happy...'

she says while reading.

Also, she gets excited about books with animals or babies in them, saying, 'How cute!', so for me, they have become a go-to genre to borrow or buy when she runs out of things to read.

Her personality, character, and reading preferences are almost completely different from my eldest daughter's.

If my eldest daughter's keywords are <analysis, reproduction, information gathering, logic, theory>,

my second daughter's are <creation, artistry, emotion, human interest, animals, babies>.

I am truly glad that I was able to realize this...

Even when watching the same quiz show on TV, I can imagine that my eldest daughter is thinking about the 'quiz itself,' while my second daughter is thinking about the 'kitten that appeared earlier'...

Just knowing things like this has made parenting a little easier... just a little.

...This has been my family's story, but I hope there is at least some part of it that you find helpful.

What I have learned from this is,

when getting children to read books, it is better to have more options

...that is all.

For example, I think it is fine for parents to prepare biographies in educational manga format, hoping that by reading them, their child will learn even a little about great people in the world.

But what if, for example, there were only three books: Edison, Lincoln, and Nightingale (I don't mean that having three books is bad).

If the child glances at them and shows no interest, the parent might feel disappointed, thinking, 'My child doesn't read biographies at all...'

But, perhaps there just wasn't a hit for that child among them.

--So, what if there were about 10 books in total?

Just as an example, how about Fabre, Martin Luther King Jr., Marie Curie, Beethoven, Konosuke Matsushita, Helen Keller, Ikkyu-san...? (Sorry, that's quite random).

It could be Agatha Christie or Audrey Hepburn, too!

Perhaps
one day, they might be reading one or two of them... completely absorbed.

Then you might understand. What that child
is interested in...

--I think that is wonderful. Discovering the heart
.

As a parent, you might encourage them to 'try reading through them,' but as a result, they might become a child who only reads about Audrey Hepburn
. --If so, it would be a good idea to show them the movie 'Roman Holiday'.

Among the many biographies, if they seem particularly fond of 'Edison,' you could try asking, 'Could it be that you like inventions...?
What did you find most interesting?'

I don't think that just having a lot of things blindly is necessarily good, but when there are a certain number of choices, there is a reason why a child chooses that one.

The reason they chose that book and the reason they thought it was interesting

can sometimes reveal

that child's heart and personality... I think that is one of the interesting things about reading.

And also, it is wonderful that children themselves can discover, 'I find these kinds of things interesting!'.

Even if they don't read books, they might eventually encounter such things in the process of living, but I also think that if you read books from childhood, it is easier to encounter 'yourself'.

That, in turn,

can become a joy in life, and at times, even a hope for living

.

...As a side note, when I was a high school student, I became completely hooked on unreliable narrators after reading Agatha Christie's 'The Murder of Roger Ackroyd,' and I discovered something about myself: 'I am the kind of person who finds this interesting!' That is still a joy in my life and a hope for living today.

The letters continue.

〈Knowing the tastes of the sister who wants to be a detective and the sister who wants to be happy〉

・Click here for letter (22).
(22) Living with a 'stack of books' from around age 5 was the shortest route to becoming a 'child who reads' - To the mom I met 10 years ago - | Emi Suzuhara (note.com)

・Click here for letter (1).
(1) Having a stack of books from around age 5 was the shortest route to becoming a 'child who reads' - To the mom I met 10 years ago - | Emi Suzuhara (note.com)