From the late 30s onwards: Nothing I wear looks good
Around my late 30s, I started to feel uncomfortable in everything I wore. I looked at many fashion blogs and Instagram accounts, but everyone has different facial features and body types, and besides, the people posting online are so incredibly dedicated to fashion that even if I wanted to use them as a reference, it's impossible for me at times.
This is a theme I have repeatedly touched upon since I was writing a blog on WordPress. Here, I have summarized the trial and error I have gone through myself over the past 10 years or more.
◉ People who don't struggle with what to wear
・People who have loved fashion since they were young.
They have a sense of trends no matter how old they get, and they know how to update their style to suit their age. They can choose nice clothes that fit their "current face and body" well. They give people around them the impression of having "good taste" or being "sophisticated."
・People who think, "I should just wear what I like, no matter what others think!"
This type of person always seems energetic, no matter their age. The power of their "likes" is very strong, and since they don't care what others think, they don't struggle. I was like that too until my 20s (before I started working).
・People whose daughters give them advice.
If you can get straightforward opinions from a young daughter—like "Mom, that's impossible," "That's acceptable," or "That looks good on you"—you can assume others see you that way too, making it easier to choose clothes.
◉ The reason for struggling with what to wear is having an "image you want to be seen as"
As the word "dressing up" suggests, I think fashion is about how you decorate yourself.
I think the reason we struggle with what to wear is because we have a desire to "be seen well by others" or "not be seen poorly."
Therefore, if you don't know which direction to take, it might be less stressful to choose from the perspective of where you are and how you want to be seen, rather than what you like or what you want to wear.
"Impression management" through fashion impression management is widely practiced in the business world and is used strategically, such as the color of the US President's tie.
Since I work as a freelancer, I have always dressed in a crisp style (past tense) so as not to give the impression that I am somehow suspicious or that it might not be safe to rely on me.
#Worrying about how you are seen by others:
On the internet, you see opinions like "you're self-conscious" or "people aren't that interested in you (others)."
I think there is some truth to that, but worrying about "whether I'm trying too hard to look young" or "whether I'm thought of as uncool" also means you are trying to engage with people, so as long as it's not at a pathological level, I don't think you need to view it negatively.
◉ Causes of repeated failures in choosing clothes
・Not being aware of changes in your face and body
With the self-image of your younger self when choosing clothes, you often end up thinking, "This isn't what I expected" when you try them on. This is also the cause of what is known as "trying too hard to look young."
To be objective, first take a selfie from the front with a relaxed, straight face. You will be forced to realize it with this.
It's quite difficult to get a full-body shot. In particular, you can't take a selfie of your back. Even if you try on pants and think they are perfect, the back view might be... (the sagging hips are...).
There is a way to take a selfie of your back reflected in a mirror.
With Wacoal's 3D diagnosis, you can grasp your current body line from various angles. This is shocking.
Since you are usually wearing clothes when you look in the mirror, you are completely unaware. Your body shape has become more unusual than you think... The shock of being confronted with reality is great, but if you know exactly what your current body shape is like, you will have fewer failures in choosing clothes.
・Clothes that accommodate size changes are not sold
Whether you are thin or not, your body shape keeps changing. Roughly speaking, it's the sagging of the bust and hips, becoming cylindrical, a protruding belly, etc... (I don't want to put it into words). Wacoal's website has the results of many years of research.
However, commercially available clothes are made based on the bodies of well-proportioned young people (it's written in sewing books, etc.). Therefore, when you wear such clothes, problems arise, such as them being tight in some places or having excess fabric where there shouldn't be, and the appearance when worn becomes "somehow dull" or "uncool."
So, in the apparel world, there is a genre called "Mrs. clothes" for women whose body changes have begun to progress, but since the way body changes occur varies from person to person, it's not necessarily a good fit. There are also preferences in design...
People of the high-sensitivity D.C. brand generation say they "remake the clothes from that time themselves and wear them," "use individual remake and wear them," or "use individual select shops (import types)" or "use MANGO (overseas apparel mail order)." People who love fashion say TOMORROWLAND is the one.
I took a correspondence course in sewing during the COVID-19 pandemic and became able to make simple tank tops in my own size. By adding darts, I can make them look slimming, and it's cheap (I wish I could make more things, but the patterns for collars and sleeves are difficult).
◉ I'm glad I took it. Personal diagnosis
I was lost in choosing clothes, so in my 40s, I took several diagnoses.
Personal color, personal design, skeletal diagnosis, etc.
You need to make adjustments as you age, but it has become easier to choose clothes since I took them.
・Color
It was a spring color (light and bright colors like pastels) diagnosis, so even if I tried my best, it was only until my early 40s.
From my 40s onwards, when my facial features start to become blurry, light colors make me look suddenly older. Now, it has become more comfortable to layer light colors with darker colors closer to autumn colors.
Knowing the colors that don't suit me (colors that make my complexion look bad, colors that make my skin look duller, etc.) was beneficial I think.
・Design
I was diagnosed as a "very" feminine type, but it's not my preferred style, and it's also out of trend. However, it's true that casual and mannish styles don't suit me (because they look sloppy), so I balance it by choosing things with muted colors and fluffy materials.
・Skeletal
It doesn't solve all the problems of choosing clothes, but I know the lengths (tops, bottoms) and lines (A-line, I-line, etc.) that suit me, so I'm still using it now in my late 50s. When I choose things that fit my skeleton (straight long length), I am often told that they suit me.
◉ Being "as you are" has high favorability
Since gray hair became trendy, the value of "aging naturally" has started to gain support. However, this doesn't mean doing nothing.
No matter how old you get, taking care of your appearance makes it easier to be well-regarded by others, and I think that remains the same.
For example, the older women I meet who I feel are wonderful aren't just "natural"; they are people with a casual sense of style.
It's not about trying too hard to be fashionable or looking youthful; it's about appearing as if they are aging naturally while actually putting in effort and exuding a sophisticated atmosphere.
Common traits of wonderful women in their 60s
The following are just examples of women I know personally.
Ms. A
・Curly hair. Mostly gray. Keeps her fashion cool and cohesive.
White shirt/blouse, black long skirt, black-framed glasses.
Ms. K
・Colors her hair in a way that makes gray hair less noticeable.
・Wears her hair up (styled, not just pulled back tightly).
・Maintains her figure through personal training. Does not snack.
Even when wearing slim jeans, her silhouette is beautiful.
Ms. X (Graphic Designer)
・Wolf cut dyed in a bright brown.
・Red-framed glasses.
・Maintains her figure. Looks cool in slim jeans and a leather jacket.
The decline in appearance is something you cannot stop, isn't it?
However, it seems that Japanese people have long disliked ugly things and loved beautiful ones.
In "The Tale of Genji," "ugly people" are described with strangely specific details, such as the thinness of hair in the elderly, gray hair, and wrinkles around pursed lips.
Even today, female celebrities stop appearing on TV after a certain age. Or they reappear looking younger.
I wish we lived in a society where sagging skin and wrinkles were not seen as ugly, but as the depth of life and something attractive.
While terms like lookism and ageism are being discussed, I think, with self-reflection, that we should not measure a person's value by their appearance.
I am not confident that I can age with dignity myself, but I want to be mindful not to hurt others.