The Two Arrows

Every day, we live while carrying various pains.

Human relationships.

Illness or mental distress.

Family and child-rearing.

Anxiety about money or the future.

Roles within an organization or worries we cannot tell anyone.

Unavoidable events visit everyone's life.

Today, I would like to share a way of thinking that can lighten your suffering a little, based on the teaching of the Two Arrows preached by the Buddha about 2,500 years ago.

I am writing this in the hope that it might be of some help, even if you cannot see hope for tomorrow.

First, you dwell on a trivial remark for days.

Even though you know it is already over, you think back on it at night and feel depressed.

Do you blame yourself for that, saying, I am weak-hearted?

So, what kind of teaching is the Two Arrows?

The First Arrow: Unavoidable Reality

Content: Illness, injury, accidents, the words and actions of others, sudden misfortune, etc.

Characteristics: Physical and material pain that is inevitable in life.

Fact: As long as you are alive, it happens equally to everyone.

The Second Arrow: Suffering Created by Oneself

Content: Anger, regret, anxiety, jealousy, and the victim mentality of Why only me?

Characteristics: A mental reaction or secondary disaster to the first arrow.

Fact: Because your mind creates it, it is inherently avoidable.

The reason you continue to suffer is not

because your mind is weak.

This teaching explains that it is because you keep stabbing yourself.

If you are alive, unavoidable events will surely come to pass.

Being scolded by a boss.

Being subjected to heartless words.

Making an unexpected mistake.

In that moment, it strikes the heart with a sharp stab.

This is the first arrow.

The first arrow comes flying from others or the environment.

It strikes everyone, and you cannot avoid it yourself.

The problem is what happens afterward.

"They didn't have to say it like that"

"Was it my fault?"

"Maybe they hate me now"

After the first one strikes, we begin to cycle through self-loathing, anger, and anxiety in our minds.

This very thinking is the second arrow that you fire at yourself.

The pain of the first arrow is temporary and will eventually heal.

However, if you keep adding a second or third arrow, the suffering will multiply many times over.

This is because you keep shooting this second arrow yourself.

It is said that the Buddha once spoke as follows.

Ordinary people suffer when hit by the second arrow, but those who have trained themselves do not receive the second arrow.

You may accept the initial pain as it is.

Thinking, "That hurts," or "I feel sad."

However, from that point on, stop shooting yourself.

Here, there is a pitfall that is easy to overlook.

When you blame yourself, thinking, "Was it my fault?" your consciousness may seem directed at yourself at first glance, but

in reality, it is directed towardwhat others might think, which is an external factor you cannot change.

Looking at yourself and blaming yourself are different things.

It is about deciding not to hurt yourself any further after being wounded by external circumstances you cannot change.

So, what should you do when you are about to shoot the second arrow?

Be silent.

And try observing your desperate self from the ceiling.

Thinking, "I'm struggling, being swayed by someone else's words that I cannot control."

It feels a bit uncool, and you might even laugh.

That silence stops the second arrow.

It is not a strong heart that reduces suffering.

It feels more like a technique of accepting pain as it is, while simply stopping the follow-up attack.

The second arrow becomes more noticeable when you are tired or during quiet moments.

In the silence, past slips of the tongue and failures play on a loop, and the heaviness in my chest grows.

Even though the event is over, in my heart, the state of “still being pierced” continues.

The term 'the second arrow' illustrates the mechanism of that continuation.

When you spill coffee on a busy morning, what is happening is the pain of “it’s dirty” and “I have less time.”

When you add the assumption “I’m always like this” to that, the event turns into a statement about your character, and the suffering increases.

Daily life is a series of moments where this transformation may or may not occur.

It is the same with misunderstandings in conversation.

There is the pain that the other person’s way of speaking was harsh.

When the narrative “I am not being respected” or “the relationship is over” is layered onto that, the heart leans toward defense, and words easily become sharp.

When pain remains just as pain, the reaction does not increase more than necessary.

The fact that the second arrow is more likely to be released on days when you are very tired can also be observed in daily life.

When you are sleepy, hungry, or lack composure, the way the same remark pierces you changes.

This starts to look less like a personality issue and more like a matter of conditions.

Pain naturally touches the surface of life.

When suffering is layered onto that, perhaps the heart is releasing another arrow.

In quiet moments, that layering unravels or becomes tied again.

The place to verify this is always within the awareness of daily life.

From this teaching, I realized that I had been causing my own suffering.

The first arrow is unavoidable.

However, you do not have to release the second arrow.

If your heart feels a little lighter today,

perhaps these "two arrows" have already become a support in your life.

Photo & philosophy donchan