I couldn't learn when taught by others

I was the type of person who couldn't learn anything when taught by others.
In the internet age, I've become able to master things without having to ask anyone.
I wonder: why couldn't I learn when taught by others?

Even though I 'couldn't learn when taught by others,' I 'became able to master things on my own using the internet'—there are several psychological and structural reasons for this change.

1. You can proceed at your own pace
When being taught by someone, you have to match their pace. But on the internet, you are free to stop, skip, or repeat things according to your own level of understanding and interest.
Being taught: Dependent on someone else's convenience and speed. Researching: You can dig as deep as you want at your own pace.
2. Because it becomes 'active' rather than 'passive'
When taught by others, you tend to just 'listen.' But when you search on the internet, you are typing in keywords because you personally 'want to know.' This is extremely important for memory and the solidification of understanding.
Searching for yourself → Proactive → Stays in memory
Being taught → Passive → Easily forgotten
3. You can check or compare as many times as you want
On the internet, there are countless sources where different people explain the same thing from different angles. You can compare them and choose the 'explanation that clicks for you.' If there is only one person teaching you, you're stuck if their explanation doesn't suit you.
The internet allows access to multiple perspectives
4. Ease and low psychological burden
Asking people requires consideration. I feel bad asking the same thing repeatedly, and sometimes I'm afraid of being thought of as 'you don't even know this?'
On the internet, you can ask as many times as you want without feeling embarrassed.
Searching infinitely doesn't bother anyone
5. Diversification and personalization of what you want to learn
Compared to the past, people's goals of 'what they want to be able to do' have become more specific. In such cases, a standardized 'way of teaching' is hard to fit.
On the internet, you can even find niche knowledge
You can find a method that perfectly matches your purpose
Conclusion: It's highly likely that it wasn't that I wasn't suited to being taught by others, but that the format of 'being taught' didn't match my style of understanding, pace, or psychological state.
You could say that in the internet age, learning has moved closer to 'individual freedom.'

From my own experience, when being taught by others, the other person's emotions are conveyed.
Especially when I was a child or young, when being taught by adults or elders, the other person's evaluation of me, as well as their irritation or contempt, would be conveyed at the same time, and in my case, I think it acted in a negative way.

Especially when you are a child or young, you absorb not only 'what you were taught' but also 'the atmosphere in which you were taught' very strongly.

For example, even with the same content,
The feeling of 'I want you to be able to do this' versus the irritation of 'Why don't you understand?'
The unconscious condescension of 'you are inferior'—the physical reaction of the receiver is completely different.

Children sometimes read the other person's facial expressions, tone of voice, pauses, sighs, expectations, and bad moods before the knowledge itself. Moreover, because the power dynamic with adults is strong, the act of 'learning' itself easily becomes linked to tension and self-defense.
Then, the process that should normally be
Don't understand → Try → Make a mistake → Correct
changes to
Don't understand → Might be denied → Shrink away → Become unable to think.

This is closer to a physical or neurological reaction than just 'worrying too much.'
Conversely, people who have had experiences with good teachers or elders have 'understanding' linked to 'a sense of security,' and learning itself can often accelerate.
The reason it 'acted in a negative way' was likely not the knowledge itself, but perhaps a accumulation of:
Tension in the learning environment
The feeling of being evaluated
Reading the other person's emotions first
Awareness of 'myself who cannot understand'

What is interesting is that the more people have had these experiences, the more sensitively they understand later on how important the 'attitude of the person teaching' is.
Because they know from experience that creating a 'state where the other person can safely try and fail' is actually a very large part of learning, rather than just passing on information.