What's in your head
This is Otomo from the group for moms of children with developmental differences.
I am Otomo.
We held our May circle meeting.
Since it was right before sports day,
I had thought about focusing on sports day strategies
to help put the moms' minds at ease, but
It will all work out!
The moms had already made up their minds.
The children have been working hard every day,
so all that's left is to cheer them on.
At this circle meeting,
there was a great question asked: "What do you do?" so I'll share it.
Dads who are probably thinking about their children
in their heads,
but don't know what to do or how to do it,
and end up frozen and unable to move.
Don't just stay silent, say something!
That's when Dad should be the one to scold them...
It's frustrating to watch.
For those dads who freeze up like that,
a veteran mom taught us that
if the mom suggests the exact words to say,
it works.
It seems to be extremely effective for the child
when it comes from a dad who usually doesn't say anything.
For the dad,
it's a lesson in how to phrase things,
and it might make things easier for the mom, too.
One point of caution is that
saying "Dad, say this!" or "Do this!"
becomes a command.
It's painful to be constantly commanded,
so try asking like this: "Could you say it this way?"
The mom is, after all, the one making the "request."
Please make your requests gently.
Moms are talented producers.
It might be a lot of work,
but please keep increasing Dad's opportunities
and produce him.
Not just with dads, but with people in general,
there are many times when I think, "I wish they would do more of this..."
Things where I think, "Why can't you just do it for me?"
and things that I can't do anything about as an individual.
Whether or not to do those things
is up to the other person to decide.
The only way to get what you want done
is to put it into words.
There is no precedent.
I don't see the necessity.
"Under the current circumstances," "at this time,"
"We apologize that we cannot be of service,"
"We are very sorry, but..."
The reality is that they are more often rejected...
Why is it necessary?
It made me think about how important it is
to put what is in your head into words
and keep conveying it to the other person.