Trying not to be a nuisance to others

I am Otomo,
from the support group for moms of children with developmental differences.

For parents of children with disabilities or developmental characteristics,
isn't the park less of a place to have fun
and more of a place you have to psych yourself up to face?

Maybe your child shouts loudly,
or they get too close to others,
startling the children around them,

or their strong fixations manifest,
making it hard to wait in line,
leading to trouble with other kids,

or your voice gets loud while scolding them,
making you and your child stand out.

You worry about the eyes of others,
and you get tired of apologizing,
saying 'I'm sorry... I'm sorry...'

However,
there is something I learned
from a mom I met at the park one day.

Being overly sensitive was just right.
At a park during the pandemic,
a child around four years old
was coughing without a mask,
and honestly, I thought, 'Oh...'

Then, the mom came over.

“This child has asthma.
It’s not a contagious cough, but
if it bothers you, please move away.”

That mom
didn't apologize!

She was so composed!!

So cool!!!
I was shocked.

Coughing is just a part of that child's daily life,
it’s not a contagious cough,
and they haven't done anything wrong.

Whether to play together or move away,

The way that mom left that choice up to us
was so natural, kind, and strong.

In the same way, there are probably people who look at my child
and think, 'Oh...'

I don't need to respond to every one of those reactions.
It may be different from what is called 'normal',
but we haven't done anything wrong.

Of course,
if they go too far, I will scold them,
and if that doesn't work, we will leave,

but if they are playing without bothering others,
I’ve started to think that saying 'If it bothers you, please move away' is fine.

In the first place, what does it even mean to 'not be a nuisance to others'?
It can be based on someone else's assumptions, prejudices, or biases,

or sometimes it's just out of ignorance.
'Vaguely uncomfortable,'

'I don't like it,'
'It's not how I want things to be'
all seem to be included in what is considered a 'nuisance' these days.
Inclusive parks specifically for children with disabilities

are increasing nationwide.
That might be a 'good thing.'

You can play with peace of mind, there are accommodations,
and there are other children in the same situation.

But, for now,
I can't say if it's 'good' or 'bad.'

There are merits to both,
and there are parts of both that aren't quite right.

I am grateful that there are more places
where we can play with peace of mind, but

in any park,
there should be room for all kinds of children.

At a deeper level,
I hope that 'kindness' and 'understanding'
will continue to grow.

I wonder what I can do to help with that.