My Mother-in-Law's Tiny Eyes

I read your note about visiting your mother-in-law at the facility. I wonder what she is looking at with her gaze. It reminded me of my own mother-in-law.

After my husband passed away and she lived alone for ten years, my mother-in-law cleared out her house and came to live with her son. My husband is the son who is kind to his mother.

She was energetic when she first arrived. She would go to the hospital on her own, shop at the supermarket, and walk back up the hill. On the way, she would sit on the stone wall of the elementary school to take a break.

Her hip joint became so painful that she could barely walk, and after the orthopedic surgeon told her, 'You're healthy, so you'll be fine,' she decided to undergo surgery. But she wasn't fine. She developed delirium after the surgery, then suffered a cerebral infarction, and was unable to return home.

Her physical and mental condition gradually declined, and she was admitted to a special nursing home. Her condition deteriorated even further.

And then, my mother-in-law stopped opening her eyes.

My mother-in-law's eyes were tiny. She had such cute eyes that you could barely tell they were there. She was very nearsighted and wore thick glasses. She stopped opening those eyes almost entirely.

I thought that perhaps Grandma didn't open her eyes because she didn't want to see this painful state—not being able to do as she pleased and having to rely on others for care. As if she had closed her heart as well.

She might not have even known why she was there.

Even when I said, 'Try opening your eyes,' she wouldn't open them easily. She was fed while keeping her eyes closed. Eventually, communication became increasingly difficult, and she remained truly asleep.

Born in the Taisho era, my mother-in-law loved songs and sumo wrestling, and she had a playful side, making her popular at day service. She probably intended to be cared for by her daughter-in-law when she needed nursing care, but I didn't do anything.

My mother-in-law lived to be 98. What could she see with her closed eyes?