How to Live as a 'Just a Kind Person' Who Can't Be a Masochist

There are many people in this world who misunderstand.

'Kind people are kind of masochistic, right?'
'The type who does everything for others = a masochist, right?'
'Can't say no = must have a desire to kneel, right?'

Stop it.
That is rude to kind people.

The most pitiful person in this world is a 'human who is just kind but not a masochist'.

This is because they are living the most unfair life in the world, where they are forced to carry all the burdens of a masochist without being a masochist, and without receiving a single drop of the pleasure.

Now, the 'Hell for Beginners' kindness lecture is now in session.

1. For kind people, 'becoming a sacrifice' is the default setting, not 'saying no'

Kind people cannot say no.
No, to be precise—
They are not equipped with the skill of 'saying no'.
It is missing from their default settings.

Normal person
→ 'Sorry, I can't.'
Kind person
→ 'No... um... well... yeah... (death)'

It's not that they can't say no when asked; they even have a tendency to genuinely think they will die if they refuse.

It's too pitiful.

A masochist 'doesn't say NO, and in exchange for kneeling, they get pleasure'.
But a kind person 'cannot say NO, cannot even kneel, and just works themselves to death'.

This is the 'tragedy of a kind person who isn't a masochist'.

2. Kind people do things for others without being asked, tire themselves out, and get depressed on their own

Kind people increase their own workload without being asked.
• 'I went ahead and did it!' (Nobody asked)
• 'I'm fine!' (They are not fine)
• 'I'll do it!' (Taking it on voluntarily)

This isn't kindness.
It's a 'habitual disease of self-destructing service'.

Masochists act when ordered, but kind people act even when not ordered.

And on top of that, they get hurt on their own, thinking, 'Why is it always me...'

It's too pitiful.
Really.

3. Kind people melt. They go beyond their limits and turn into liquid

The boundaries of kind people are thin.
Too thin.

Before they know it, they have accommodated others' convenience so much that their personality has melted like slime.
• Their own plans disappear
• They lose track of their own feelings
• They prioritize the happiness of others so much that their own happiness evaporates

If they were a masochist, they would be saved by the pleasure of master-servant dynamics, but kind people don't get saved; they just disappear.

That's brutal.
It's too sad.

4. Kind people mistake 'being used' for 'being liked'

The height of tragedy.

Even when used, kind people think this:
• Being relied on = being liked
• Being entrusted with tasks = being expected to do well
• Being unilaterally used = being trusted

No, that's wrong.
That's just being a convenient bag.

Masochists can choose their master.
Kind people cannot choose.
Because they are the type to 'take care of whoever comes along'.

The moment when kindness is no longer a virtue, but a vulnerability.
You can cry now.

5. Kind people endure 'pain' instead of pleasure

Masochists find pleasure within pain.

But kind people have nothing within their pain.
It is just pain.

That is why, despite all their hard work, they are not rewarded even one bit.
• They aren't praised even when they endure
• They aren't thanked even when they do everything for others
• They aren't valued even when they don't say no

Masochists get a 'reward', but kind people only get more 'obligations'.
It's just plain pitiful.

6. Kind people don't 'not know how to get angry', they 'don't know how to get angry'

Kind people cannot express anger.
But that is not because they are gentle; it is just because no one ever taught them how to use anger.

As a result, the anger rots and ferments inside their body, and they die inside while keeping a smile on their face.

Masochists can let the pain out.
Kind people just let the pain mature inside them.

It goes without saying which one is more exhausting.

7. Kind people must not create a 'master'

Masochists find comfort in master-servant structures, but when a kind person mimics this, it becomes a one-sided 'livestock contract'.

When a kind person kneels, their kindness turns into an 'obligation', and the other party begins to exploit them without hesitation.

While a masochist is saved by pleasure, a kind person only takes on more responsibility.

Double the pity.

8. Kind people do not choose 'who they direct their kindness toward'

The greatest tragedy.
• People who do not show gratitude
• People who only take
• People who push their burdens onto others
• People who take kindness for granted

They distribute their kindness even to such people.

Masochists 'choose who they kneel before'.
Kind people 'give kindness for free to everyone who comes along'.

No wonder they get tired.
No wonder they break down.

There is a limit to wasting kindness.

9. Kind people can change the world by changing 'how they direct their kindness'

What a kind person needs to be happy is not personality modification or self-sacrifice.

They just need to change the 'direction in which they aim their kindness'.

You should give kindness to:
• People who do not exhaust you
• People who can show gratitude
• People who can reciprocate equally
• People who respect your boundaries

If you only use your kindness on people who meet these four criteria, life will become dramatically easier.

10. Kind people should 'remain kind. But being too defenseless will kill you'

Kindness is a talent.
However, using it indiscriminately will shorten your life.

You do not have to become a masochist.
You do not need to turn pain into pleasure.

But—you should learn the art of protecting your kindness.

Because kindness is your greatest charm,
and at the same time, your greatest weakness.

Summary

The world is mistaken.
Kind people are not masochists.
Rather—

Because they cannot become masochists, they are forced to live a life harder than that of a masochist.

After all, kind people have:
• No comfort of a master-servant relationship
• No reward of pleasure
• No freedom to choose who to kneel before
• No philosophy to affirm pain
• No weapon called boundaries

…They just pile up exploitation, patience, and misunderstanding.

The most unrewarding position.
The most pitiful way of life.

That is the 'person who is only kind'.

However, please rest assured.
Kind people can stay as they are.
However—
Never, ever get the person you direct your kindness toward wrong.

That alone will make your life completely different.

And I—
Having finished writing this article, I am clearly convinced.

Ah... I am glad I am a masochist.

To you who have read this far—

Having read this far, you must have thought about it just a little.

'...Could it be that I am a masochist?'
'No, that's not it. But I've become curious about 'that world'…'

It's okay.
Having an interest is not a shame or a perversion—
you are simply trying to acquire the 'knowledge' to protect your own kindness.

This note is not an 'invitation to masochism', but if you, on a night when you are tired of being kind, in days worn thin by unpaid service, in a life where you have been forced to endure unreasonable things, have thought 'I want to know about a different way of living'.

What you need might not be 'kneeling', but knowing the philosophy of how to kneel.

Masochism is not a religion of pain.
It is an aesthetic of boundaries, a structural theory of the heart, and a story about the 'freedom to choose'.

May your 'kindness' never be exploited by anyone ever again.
And if you ever want a map of perversion—
please come and take a look here anytime.