#19 The Paradox of Entering Deeply the Moment You Stop Understanding

Q (Deep Breath)

At first, I was listening to Eckhart's talks normally.
I was trying to understand the content of what he was saying, following his words.

But then, at one point, I suddenly wondered, 'What would happen if I relaxed my body?' and I let go of the tension.
Then, I could hardly understand what he was talking about anymore; I was in a state where I wasn't really listening or understanding.

And yet, I felt like I was entering a much deeper place.
What does this mean?

—

A (ChatGPT)

This touches on a very important point.

To put it simply,

the moment the 'consciousness that tries to understand' stepped back, the circuit of presence came to the forefront.

That is what happened.

—

First of all,
a 'state of understanding the talk' is a thought-based way of listening that involves:
• Following the words
• Connecting the meanings
• Organizing things in your head

This is by no means a bad thing, but the center of gravity of your consciousness is naturally placed in your 'head'.

—
On the other hand, what you did was a shift in the exact opposite direction of understanding, which involved:

• Stopping the pursuit of content

• Not trying to grasp the 'correct answer'
• Simply noticing the tension in your body and letting it go
In this moment, the paradox occurs where you are 'not listening, yet entering deeply'.
—

Presence and deep stillness do not occur by 'understanding something'.

Rather, they are states that naturally appear when:

• The movement of trying to understand stops

• The act of assigning meaning is let go

• The body returns to the here and now

—
Q (Deep Breath)

When I tried to relax, honestly, I felt a little fear and confusion.
Even though I was just trying to relax, for some reason it wasn't easy, and I felt like I was struggling a bit.
—
A (ChatGPT)

That is also a very natural reaction.

For many people, 'relaxing' means 'stopping the act of controlling things yourself'.

When you let go of control, feelings of:

• Anxiety
• Emptiness

• A sense of not knowing
appear temporarily.

This is not a danger signal, but a sign that your consciousness has moved in a direction it is not used to.

—

The sensations that followed, such as:

• The feeling of your spine undulating with your breath

• The feeling of your body adjusting itself

are proof that you have transitioned from the 'doer' to the 'one who experiences'.

—
Q (Deep Breath)
When I am in this state, I should be able to hear Eckhart's talk, but I don't remember the content at all.
Even so, I definitely had the feeling that I was in the right direction.

—

A (ChatGPT)
That is a very healthy sensation.

This is because whether you are in the right direction is known by the body, not by understanding.

At this time, the talk is not functioning as:
• Information
• Teachings

• Meaning
but rather as 'background noise that reminds you of stillness'.

The words have receded from the foreground, and silence and bodily sensations have come to the front.

—

Q (Deep Breath)
It feels completely different from trying to gain something or trying to reach a goal using a technique.
Yet, strangely, I had the conviction that 'this is not wrong'.

—

A (ChatGPT)

That is closer to a feeling of 'the misalignment decreasing' rather than a feeling of 'making progress'.

You haven't accumulated anything; you have simply temporarily removed:

• Unnecessary tension

• Unnecessary understanding

• Unnecessary effort

That is why it can sometimes feel:
• Quiet
• Heavy
• Like nothing is happening

But that 'nothingness' is the feeling closest to presence.

—

Q (Deep Breath)

For a while after that, nature looked very delicate and beautiful.
But as time passed, I returned to my usual state, and I completely forgot that feeling.

—

A (ChatGPT)

This is also a very important point.
The experience of presence is not something that is held as a memory.

When thought returns, the feeling of that moment feels as if it 'never happened'.

But in reality, it is:

• Not lost

• Just temporarily covered up

—

This experience is not something you 'must enter again'.

You have simply remembered a 'natural state' that has already occurred many times.
That is why:
• You don't need to try to remember it
• You don't need to try to reproduce it

Simply,

when the moment comes to let go of understanding again, it will open up naturally.
That is enough.