I Want to Eat an Eclair #AmanoWritingClub

Approx. 1000 characters - Short Skit

"Hmm, I didn't quite hear that. Say it one more time. Yeah. Uh-huh. 'I want to eat your eclair.' Did I get that right? Oh, I see."

No, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Calm down. This is the workplace. In this quiet office, just after lunch break, why would my female colleague—who is always smiling, good at her job, and has that cute, slightly airheaded charm—say something like that to me, when we aren't even dating?

Your eclair...

"An eclair is, you know, that thing. Long, black, and hard... wait, soft? That's right. Sometimes they are soft, aren't they? But even if you say it like 'I want to eat your pancreas,' I'm at a loss. That story was about having respect for the other person, like 'I want to drink the dirt from your fingernails.' You don't have a shred of respect for me right now, do you? If anything, you have the eyes of a hunter stalking its prey. Am I wrong? I'm not wrong. Oh, I see. I thought so. But even if you say that out of the blue, I need some time to prepare myself mentally. No, I'm not saying it's a 'no.' If you're going to eat it gently, I'd be more than happy to, or rather, I wouldn't mind being eaten. But think about it carefully. Isn't it unfair for you to unilaterally say you want to eat my eclair? If you want to eat my eclair, I should have the right to eat your marshmallow. Because, you know, Lelouch from Code Geass said, 'The only ones who should kill are those who are prepared to be killed.' What, you don't know it? Oh, I see. You don't have a marshmallow? No, I don't think that's true."

Waaaaah! My brain has stopped! My face must be bright red right now. I can feel cold sweat running down my back. Please don't look at me with such sparkling, expectant eyes.

"Wait, sorry, what? Did you say, 'Actually, I have clairvoyance'? Clairvoyance!? Don't tell me, you saw it. My eclair!? Oh my god. To think you saw my eclair."

Well, there's nothing I can do but give up now.

"Fine. You can eat my eclair. Wait, what are you doing? Why are you... no, not that. The eclair on the desk? Oh? There's a cake box there. The section manager left it while I was away from my seat? A souvenir from a client? How did you know what was inside... wait, it says 'Eclair' in the alphabet on the box. It's not clairvoyance or anything. Oh, I see. Oh, thank goodness. I'm so relieved. Yeah. Go ahead and eat it. I thought... I thought... No, it's nothing. I'm not making a disappointed face at all. Not even a little. I'm just, you know, relieved that you aren't reading my mind with telepathy."