I'm no angel, but I want to be one

Ai Yazawa is the greatest and best shojo manga artist in my heart. Even though she was already on hiatus by the time I was old enough to understand, I've read Neighborhood Story, I'm Not an Angel, and Paradise Kiss over and over again. For those of you reading this, which one is your favorite? I'd love to hear your memories too.

Among them, my favorite is NANA. I've read it over and over again. Recently, I often see tweets saying that people can't empathize with NANA at all or that the characters are too easily swayed by romance. I don't know if it's a change in the times or what, but every time I see that, I want to argue that there's more to it than that. It's a truly beautiful work about characters from various backgrounds—some who grew up without knowing love, others who were raised surrounded by it—struggling through life and trying to move forward. It's the best shojo manga that taught me so many things: vivid friendships, sweet and sad love, what love really is, what it means to give love, and what is necessary to live alongside someone else.

I could go on forever about NANA, so I'll leave it at that for today. What I want to talk about this time is I'm Not an Angel!!

I blurted out the strong words 'I don't want to be a heroine' in my previous note (I'll link it, so please take a look), but the heroines in Ai Yazawa's works are different. In particular, I love Midori from I'm Not an Angel, and I've lived my life wanting to become a person like her.

When I first read it, I didn't like her that much. I wonder why—maybe she was too dazzling. Too dazzling. She's such a bright, shining girl. Like an angel, like the sun, someone who seems like she could walk through the dark night alone, but is actually terrified and always tries her best not to show it. Yes, once I realized that, I fell in love with her. I thought, 'This is the girl I want to be!'

This is the scene where I thought, 'I love Midori!'

Unable to hold back her tears because Akira is keeping secrets from her, Midori tells Akira to let her go, saying she doesn't want to ruin the welcome party and that she'll come back smiling, then goes to the student council room to calm down. And she really does return to Akira with a smile.

Isn't this the moment when Akira truly realized he wanted to cherish Midori? At the very least, I wanted that cute girl, who loves Akira so much she can't give up on him, to be happy. I wanted to hug her.

What's amazing about Midori is that even while saying she's no angel, she tries hard to become one. She wants everyone to be happy and works hard to be happy herself. When someone is hurt, she can reach out, listen to them, and try to help solve the problem. No matter how much she's pushed away, she doesn't give up until she reaches that person's heart. She's charming and can honestly say things like 'thank you,' 'you're cute,' 'you're cool,' and 'that's amazing.' Even when she can't stop crying, she tries to smile. And in the end, she is smiling.

I'm a girl, after all. I want to be someone who is innocent and naive, but also has a strong core and works hard until the end when I decide to do something. I'm glad I encountered a shojo manga that makes me think that way, and I'm happy that such a work existed before I was even born. In every era, there are strong and cool women.

Yes, it's not that I don't want to be a heroine; I think I've always admired people who can stand up and take a step forward even when they are scared or in pain. I'm no angel, and it's embarrassing to be called one, but I think I've always wanted to be an angel.