A story about trying to quit a hobby and being persuaded to stay

I started a new hobby and made new connections with people.

I made friends who shared my hobby, and I think I was incredibly excited at first.

Driven by fun and adrenaline or something similar, I was able to keep up with it initially.

However, I gradually began to find both the social interactions involved and the hobby itself to be a burden.

Starting a hobby that involves others during a time when my mental health was unstable was not a good idea... It ends up causing trouble for those around me, to say the least.

Even though it would cause trouble, I desperately wanted to take a break from the hobby and leave the community, so I made up my mind and contacted one of the members.

As expected, they asked why, saying, "Are you quitting? Why!?", and I tried my best to think of a good way to respond.

Just replying to a single LINE message had me spiraling with worry, feeling heavy-hearted, and sighing constantly.

I wrote and deleted my reply in my notepad over and over again.

When I couldn't evade their probing questions, I honestly confessed that my mental health was unstable and that I was on a leave of absence from work.

To my surprise, that person was also on a leave of absence from work due to their mental health!

I can't believe such a coincidence... Perhaps we were drawn to each other.

"It's okay to take breaks, but I want to continue with you."

I can't express how happy I was to hear them say that.

If they understood my situation and told me it was okay to take breaks, I felt like I could try continuing a little longer at my own pace... That's what I thought.

At the same time, I felt ashamed that I had tried to run away as soon as things got tough, and I felt a little regret.

When I'm feeling weak, I become hypersensitive to everything, and as soon as things get even slightly difficult, I immediately want to say "strategic retreat!" and run away.

I think that is often the right answer in many cases, too.

But this time, I was taught that there are cases where there is a way to handle things without running away.

In recent years, we often hear that it is okay to run away if things get too tough.

However, rather than running away without thinking, I would at least like to have the composure to consider the option of not running away.

Also, I felt that I should cherish my connections with people a little more, and that it is okay to speak my true feelings or rely on others from time to time.

I have never been very good at relying on others, and I think I have often chosen to be alone as a way to escape, without opening up or digging deep into others' lives.

But with an attitude like that, people around me can't help me even if they want to, can they?

It is scary, but I would like to become able to engage in relationships where I can take a step forward, little by little.