Thank You Housework Division Plan

The other day, while I was having lunch with a friend, this topic came up.

A: My husband hung up the laundry for me the other day.

Me: That's a good husband you have.

A: But, I said thank you, and I wonder if that's really something I should be thanking him for.

Me: Housework isn't just our job, is it?

A: But I end up saying thank you anyway.

Thank you is an important word, but that's not the issue. Saying thank you implies,

Laundry is my job, but thank you for doing it for me.

We are already in a position where we think laundry is our job, and we get angry at ourselves. At that point, aren't we just settling for the Showa-era theory that housework is a woman's job?

The division of housework in the home is a major issue. Especially for us in our 50s, it's a rather tough problem.

After all, we are of a delicate generation.

We were born in the Showa era. We grew up watching fathers who would flip over the dining table and mothers who were full-time housewives, carried red school bags, wore skirt uniforms, and spent our youth that way.

Then, during the bubble era, we entered the workforce in a time when we self-deprecatingly treated gender with terms like 'asshie' (driver) and 'messhie' (meal provider), or being a 'convenient woman'.

Around this time, dual-income households increased, and women's participation in society became the norm.

And now, it is an era where gender is borderless.

In a sense, it was a turbulent era.

That is why those in their 50s are complicated.

Even now, in a corner of our hearts, the Showa-era men and women we were imprinted with as children still live.

On the other hand, having received gender education, we also have the perspective that it's not right to make assumptions based on being a man or a woman.

That is why we find that Showa-era mindset within ourselves and get frustrated.

As a result, it can be said that this is an age where people are, in various ways, bound by the categories of man and woman.

Now, if we view housework as work, some degree of division is necessary. Otherwise, complacency sets in, and eventually, the burden ends up skewed toward one person.

And when that becomes the norm, work that continues to get done even if you don't do it becomes work that you don't have to do.

However, when this is divided as your work, it becomes work that won't get done unless you do it yourself.

Suppose that when that becomes difficult, someone reaches out to help you.

Oh, how grateful I am!

Wouldn't you feel that way?

That is exactly it. The "thank you" in housework is a word of gratitude that is born only when there is an awareness that it is your own work.

To you who complain that no one thanks you even when you do the housework: that is only natural. It is because your family perceives housework not as their work, but as your work.

Then, why not try resigning yourself to the idea that all housework is my work?

And then, assign tasks to your family, and when they do them, say thank you.

If you think it's not just your work, you will complain. And if the family is complained to, they probably won't feel like helping either.

However, if you resign yourself to the fact that it is your own work, you will feel gratitude toward those who help you. And when you are thanked, it feels good.

Rather than trying to persuade your family and those around you that this is not just your work, isn't it easier to sprinkle "thank yous" around and involve your family in the housework? Saying thank you costs nothing, no matter how much you say it.

First, let's have them start with easy tasks like taking out the trash or cleaning the bathtub.

In our house, while I was having them help with cleaning the bathtub, it became Dad's job. When Dad is late, my second daughter, who wants to be the first to take a bath, does it. It's a quiet help. Sometimes I do it too.

For taking out the trash, I do the most troublesome part of collecting it from each room, and have Dad take it out. Now, he even does the collecting.

Of course, I shower them with words like "thank you," "that's a big help," and "sorry about that" (laughs).

On days when he has worked a lot, I think about what Dad likes and make dinner.

Next, I will try to bring in my lazy daughters. My daughters, who have become busy with high school and university, have become completely hands-off with housework.

Maybe I should send out an SOS.

Hey, the laundry is piling up. Could you help me hang it out? Could you?

It is Sunday morning. There is no reply.
As I thought, my daughter is tougher to deal with than my husband.
My "Thank You Chore Sharing Plan" looks like it will be a very long-term project. I'll take it easy. Take it easy.