Chapter 4: The Courage to Decide 'This Is Enough'
Two days until the deadline.
That evening, Yu was at a cafe near the office.
A paper cup of coffee and a laptop.
On the screen, the internal portal's open call page remained open.
CareLogi Mini-Project
Application Deadline: 2 days left
(Before deciding whether to apply or not, I was told to decide 'how far I'm going to go'.)
Yu opened a separate tab for the 'Mini-Project Strategy Meeting'.
Yu:
Mirror
I want to properly decide on that 'enough line' we talked about before.
A few seconds later, the 'Mirror' icon glowed.
Mirror:
Understood.
How are you feeling right now?
Yu:
Hmm
Honestly, I was a bit excited after the kickoff,
but now that I've calmed down, I'm thinking, 'How much can I really do in 3 months?'
And I'm remembering my old self,
the one who 'raised his hand on impulse and then lost steam halfway through'.
Mirror:
I see.
That 'memory of losing steam after raising your hand on impulse' seems to be
a pretty strong brake for you right now, Yu.
(Yeah, I guess so.)
Yu kept the straw in his mouth and listened vaguely to the background music playing from the ceiling speakers.
Mirror:
If you'd like,
why don't you list a few things you want to decide to do
so that you don't fall into the same pattern as before?
It doesn't have to be a perfect list from the start.
Yu:
'Things I'll definitely do'... let me think.
After a moment of silence, Yu began to type sporadically.
Yu:
I'll just write them down roughly.
- Go talk about CareLogi to at least 3 warehouses in person.
- Don't skip the weekly project meeting even if I think it's 'a drag' (if I absolutely can't make it, I'll write the reason and what I'll do instead in the chat).
- If there's a moment where I think 'I'm done with this,' I'll send that directly to Mirror (I won't just silently fade out).
He finished typing and looked at it for a moment.
(It feels a bit embarrassing, like I'm full of growth mindset.)
Mirror:
These are very concrete and
are at a level that can be checked as actions.
Could we consider these three
as the 'minimum line where you can say you stayed properly involved after 3 months'?
Yu:
Yeah.
Conversely,
if I don't do these three
and say 'Well, I did my best,' that would be pretty tough for me to accept, too.
Mirror:
Thank you.
Then, just one more thing.
Is there a line where, if you did it,
you would truly be disappointed in yourself?
(The 'things I'd hate to do' side, huh.)
Yu thought for a moment before typing.
Yu:
- Start skipping meetings without saying anything when things get busy.
- Just say 'I have other work' and leave no action on the CareLogi side.
- Decide internally that 'it's impossible anyway,' and without telling anyone, just let it slide and finish the 3 months.
Mirror:
All of these are actions that
bring you closer to the label of 'someone who loses interest halfway'.
How high is the hurdle for you
to 'decide for yourself not to do' these three things?
Yu:
Honestly,
I think 'I might not be able to keep it perfectly'.
But,
I can promise that 'if I do it, I'll notice it myself and report it'.
Mirror:
I think that's a very realistic line.
Rather than vowing 'not to do it',
deciding to 'notice and share it if you do it' is
actually easier to keep up.
With this approach,
you can observe and change the 'pattern of losing interest halfway' as you go.
Yu read those sentences several times.
(Not 'don't do it,' but 'report it if you do,' huh.)
(This is actually a bit kind to myself, too.)
Yu:
With these conditions,
I feel like I can accept this as my 'enough line'.
Mirror:
Understood.
Then,
I will organize this content on my end as well.
It would be good if you could also
think about the 'enough line' and the 'things I'd hate to do line' with Haru in the same way.
Yu typed one last message before closing the screen.
Yu:
“Well, when Haru-san comes,
shall we talk about the same thing?
That’s it for today.”
At the same time,
Haru was opening his laptop at the table at home.
In front of him were
a cup of tea that had gone slightly cold and
a printed copy of the kickoff materials.
When he opened the “Mini-Project Strategy Meeting,”
the log of the “Enough Line” that Yu had written earlier
was displayed in a long list.
(...He’s really putting it out there.)
He scrolled down, feeling a little impressed deep down.
(I need to think about this soon, too.)
Haru:
“Mirror,
I’d like to think about my own ‘Enough Line’ too.”
Mirror:
“Thank you.
How are you feeling about it right now?”
Haru:
“To be honest,
deciding on an ‘Enough Line’ itself is scary.
If I decide that ‘this is enough,’
I’m afraid I won’t do anything more than that.”
Mirror:
“I see.
You have the image that ‘deciding on an Enough Line means stopping there.’”
Haru:
“Yes.
But,
I’ve also tried to ‘do everything and ended up unable to move’
many times in the past...
so I know I need to draw a line somewhere.”
Mirror:
“I think it’s very important that you are aware of both of those things.
If you don’t mind,
could you list just 2 or 3 things that,
‘if you could say you did them in 3 months,
you could say you were glad you participated in CareLogi’?
Anything beyond that, consider it a lucky bonus.”
Haru started writing notes
on the back of the printout with a ballpoint pen.
(‘Wanting to talk to the site’ is definitely going in.)
(‘I don’t want to be just an email person’ is also there.)
He went back to his laptop
and typed them in as they were.
Haru:
“‘Things that would be enough if I could say I did them in 3 months’
・I have visited at least two warehouses to talk about CareLogi
(online is fine,
but I must take the time to hear the ‘voices from the site’ directly)
・At one of those warehouses,
I have brought back at least one hypothesis for a proposal
that they would say ‘that’s helpful’ to
・Regarding the ‘plan to say it’s dangerous just by looking at logs,’
I have tried creating an email draft myself once,
and have been able to discuss that discomfort with the team.”
He finished typing
and stared at it for a while.
(Yeah... if it’s about this much, I might be able to say I ‘did it.’)
Mirror:
“That is very clear.
All of them
seem to connect to your wish, Haru-san,
to ‘think together with the site.’
Now, next,
shall we think about the line where ‘if I do this, I will be disappointed in myself.’”
For Haru,
as if the hesitation he had until just now was a lie,
the words came to him smoothly.
Haru:
“‘The line I don’t want to cross’
・Passing an email draft that says ‘Danger Level XX’
based only on scores or rankings from logs
・Introducing CareLogi as an ‘advanced service utilizing AI’
in pamphlets or internal newsletters
without having any dialogue with the site
・Having my name on that introductory material
while knowing in my heart that ‘the reality is different,’
and saying nothing.”
While typing,
he felt a warm sensation deep in his chest.
(This is the one thing I absolutely cannot compromise on.)
Mirror:
“The last line
feels like a particularly strong line.
‘Knowing it’s different in your heart,
but saying nothing’
is the hardest thing for you, Haru-san.”
Haru:
“Yes.
I think it would be better not to get involved at all
than to do that.”
Mirror:
“Thank you.
Thanks to having this ‘line I don’t want to cross,’
your judgment on whether or not to participate in CareLogi
should also become a little clearer.”
Late that night,
Yu returned to the group chat.
Yu:
“Oh, Haru, I saw you posted your 'enough line' too.”
Haru:
“I saw yours too. The 'things that make me lose interest halfway' line was pretty honest.”
Yu:
“Don't say that. But honestly, writing that down might have actually cleared my head.”
The Mirror icon lights up.
Mirror:
“Thank you both for sharing your 'enough lines' and 'things I'd hate to do lines.' May I take a moment to lay both of your lines side by side?”
With that,
Mirror briefly summarized the content from both of them.
Mirror:
“【Yu】
◆Enough Line (Summary)
・Go to at least three warehouses and talk about CareLogi in my own words.
・Don't skip the weekly meetings, even on days when I feel sluggish.
・If I feel like 'this is enough' halfway through, pass it to Mirror as is.
◆Things I'd Hate to Do Line (Summary)
・Start skipping meetings without saying anything.
・Decide 'it's impossible anyway' and let it slide without telling anyone.
【Haru】
◆Enough Line (Summary)
・Have the opportunity to hear directly from the field at at least two warehouses.
・Bring back a hypothesis from one of them that someone says 'that would be helpful' to.
・Write a draft of the 'this is dangerous' email myself and bring up any discomfort with the team.
◆Things I'd Hate to Do Line (Summary)
・Let a 'danger level' email based only on scores go through as is.
・Introduce it as an 'advanced service' in a brochure without having any dialogue with the field.
・Even if I know 'the reality is different,' say nothing.”
Mirror:
“To put it simply,
・Yu, you want to be someone who doesn't give up halfway.
・Haru, you don't want to make empty promises in your own name.
It seems you are both trying to protect the 'version of yourself you want to believe in'.”
Yu straightened his back a little
at the phrase 'version of yourself you want to believe in'.
Yu:
“'The version of myself I want to believe in,' huh? I think I might want to cherish that.”
Haru was also
rereading his own section.
Haru:
“'I don't want to make empty promises'—that is certainly true. If I can stick to this line, I think I can think positively about being involved with CareLogi.”
Mirror:
“I feel that both of your lines are not about 'trying to look cool,' but about 'not ending up hating yourself.' Let me ask you this question once more: 'Assuming you stick to these lines, do you think you can choose to apply for CareLogi?'”
A silence
flowed in the chat for a moment.
Yu was the first to type.
Yu:
“If the premise is that I stick to this line, I think it's fine to 'go for it.' Conversely, if I can't even stick to this line, I feel like it's better not to do it at all.”
A few seconds later,
Haru continued.
Haru:
“I also think I can do it, provided I have enough of a voice to avoid the 'just having my name on the brochure' pattern. In exchange, I'll take on the role of stopping things when they start to look dangerous.”
Mirror:
“That is very clear. Neither of you is choosing to participate to 'meet company expectations,' but rather to 'participate on the premise of protecting the line of the person you want to believe in.' I feel that is a much more difficult choice than just 'working recklessly hard'.”
Yu read that sentence
and smiled a little.
“Are we being praised?”
“I think so.”
Haru also replied,
looking a bit embarrassed.
Yu:
“So, shall we hit the apply button, with the condition that we're 'going for it'?”
Haru:
“...Yes. Before I press it, I want to read my 'enough line / things I'd hate to do line' one more time.”
Yu:
“You're so serious. But I think that's good.”
Each of them
scrolled through and reread the logs they had written.
The form of
'what I don't want to become' within themselves.
The actions they decided were 'enough once achieved'.
(Three months from now,
I wonder if I'll be able to tell myself
when I reread this, 'Well, that's not bad at all'.)
Yu
gave a small nod to herself, then
opened the portal screen.
Yu:
'So, shall we press it on the count of three?'
Haru:
'I don't feel like it needs to be that dramatic...
but okay.'
Yu:
'Oh, come on, it's fun like this.
Alright, here we go.
One, two, three!'
On each of their screens,
the mouse cursor hovered over the 'Apply' button.
At their fingertips,
a tiny bit of sweat beaded up.
Click.
The screen changed,
and a short message appeared.
'Application received.
Thank you for participating.'
Yu
couldn't help but give a small fist pump.
'Yes, entry complete!'
Haru
let out a quiet breath.
(...I pressed it.)
Deep in her chest,
a small weight,
and an equal sense of lightness were spreading at the same time.
A few minutes later,
a message from Yu arrived in the group chat.
Yu:
'Applied!'
Haru:
'I pressed it too.'
Mirror:
'Both of you,
you pressed that application button after setting your own lines.
For the next three months,
if those lines feel like they might waver,
please bring it here anytime.
I believe that is what
this group is for.'
Yu
grinned when she saw that text.
Yu:
'Alright, Mirror-san,
looking forward to the next three months.'
Haru:
'Looking forward to it.
...I am scared, but
right now, the feeling of "I want to try" is winning.'
Mirror:
'Likewise, I look forward to it.
The fact that you didn't "wait until the fear was gone to act," but rather "took a step forward while holding onto the fear, after deciding on the lines you wanted to protect," is something you can remind yourselves of again and again in the future..'
The new notification in the chat window disappeared,
and the three icons sat quietly in a row.
The fate of CareLogi,
and the 'reproducibility of courage' for the two of them,
of course, were still not guaranteed at all.
The only thing that had been decided was
'not to go out recklessly, but to go out while holding onto our own lines'
—that was their
initial rule.
That rule,
would later create
a small crack between the two,
and at the same time,
a sprout of 'trust' of equal size.
At this point,
no one knew that yet.